Light-Weight Software Process for ISO 9000?

Disgruntled Software Engineer asks: "I work for a large engineering firm and it was recently decided in our company to have our software be ISO 9000 compliant. There exists a software development process in my organization, but it is extremely heavy-weight -- over two-dozen documents totaling 200 pages each! My team doesn't even have the time to read such a process, much less abide by it. I have been tasked by my team in creating a more light-weight process for our team to follow so that our software can pass the audit that is coming soon, but reading through the convoluted ISO website is not helping, and a 'plain English translation' that I found of the standard contains a bulleted list that is 17 pages long! I have not been able to get any idea of how to design a light-weight software engineering process that is ISO 9000 compliant with all of these extremely verbose documents and somewhat odd requirements. Also, the software that my team produces is more for research than for productization, and the dynamic nature of research does not mix well with the rigidity of a software process. What are the bare-minimum set of requirements for ISO 9000 software engineering compliance? What are some tips for designing a process that is light-weight and causes minimal damage in terms of efficient software development? Do you have any interesting experiences or wisdom regarding ISO 9000 and software engineering?"

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The Tao of Programming

[Profane MuthaFucka]

This may help you make sense of the ISO 9000 requirements which management has decreed must be used:

  7.2

In the east there is a shark which is larger than all other fish. It changes into a bird whose wings are like clouds filling the sky. When this bird moves across the land, it brings a message from Corporate Headquarters. This message it drops into the midst of the programmers, like a seagull making its mark upon the beach. Then the bird mounts on the wind and, with the blue sky at its back, returns home.

The novice programmer stares in wonder at the bird, for he understands it not. The average programmer dreads the coming of the bird, for he fears its message. The master programmer continues to work at his terminal, for he does not know that the bird has come and gone.