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ComputerWorld's Help Form Elicits Some Laughs

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the read-before-you-send dept.

PetManimal writes "Like many websites, Computerworld has a 'help' Web form for users to submit website-related questions. The page asks people not to ask about general Web problems, or other issues not related to Computerworld, but that hasn't stopped a regular stream of funny submissions, ranging from a question about using a computer to watch soap operas, to questions about troubleshooting printer problems."

8 of 85 comments (clear)

  1. Not funny. by CosmeticLobotamy · · Score: 4, Funny

    Did those make anyone else really sad? I was feeling pretty good a minute ago, but now I think I'm going to go lay down for a while.

    1. Re:Not funny. by JanneM · · Score: 5, Funny

      The baseball player is quite sad.

      Why sad? Sounds like he's mentally a perfect fit for pro sports already.

      --
      Trust the Computer. The Computer is your friend.
  2. reminds me of.... by William+Robinson · · Score: 5, Funny
    Definition of programming.

    Programming is race between Programmers, to produce idiot proof apps, and God, to create better idiots.

    So far God is winning.

    --
    hilarious
  3. My experience by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I have my email address on my web site as well as a FAQ for a certain model of cell phone. I get all sorts of drivel as email.

    Just yesterday I got someone asking about functionality for a different model. The message stream looked something like this:

    Him: How do I foo with model 5000?
    Me: I don't know. I only have a 200.
    Him: So how do I do it with the 5000?
    Me: Quote first email. Point out again that I don't know as I only have a 200.
    Him: I have a 5000.

    At that point I gave up.

  4. Re:Its more like it makes me feel like... by Harmonious+Botch · · Score: 4, Funny

    Ok, ok! We're sorry. We wouldn't have said all those mean things if we had known. We had no idea that you wrote one of the questions.

  5. AOL front line on the late nite wierdo shift by buddahfool · · Score: 5, Funny

    me: Thanks for calling AOL, how may I help you?
    guy: I want to start an online business.
    me: Try keyword Busines, just type...
    guy: Actually first I wanted to check out other businesses first.
    me: O-Kay...
    guy: The most successful online business are porn aren't they...
    me: ...um, yeah.
    guy: Soo.. I was wondering if you could help me find some...

  6. Re:Its more like it makes me feel like... by jlarocco · · Score: 4, Funny
    What makes you think you're any better than these people? How about you go and perform brain surgery or rebuild a plane if you're so smart. Not everyone can know everything and while some of these maybe really stupid to us, to others they seem legit.

    Well for one, I'm not a fucking moron. From an email in the article:

    please check this websit out for me this guy email that I have won 263,some owe dollars allI need to do is pick a courier and pay $500.00 for the winnings thanks for your help marva please write me right back before I pay this guy one penny this may be for real so I really need to know ASAP

    That's barely even English. I'm surprised that dumbass can even breath. My 6 year old neice writes better than that. That guy shouldn't be allowed to operate a fork, much less a computer.

    And you know what the difference between brain surgery and using a computer is? Billions of fucking idiots think they're fully qualified to use a computer. They should consider themselves lucky they're only being mocked, cause it should be illegal to be that stupid.

    --
    Maybe not
  7. People find ANYTHING challenging, not just PCs by Jafafa+Hots · · Score: 4, Funny
    I used to be Senior Consumer Affairs Rep for Fisher-Price. I wish I could remember all of the funny calls I got but after a while they all just blend together. There are a couple I remember, though.

    FP sold a kid's outdoor tent for a while and a woman called to report that there were bees in her tent. First rule: Take everything seriously until you know for sure what's going on. It's not inconcievable that she bought a product and opened it to find bees. Strange things happen in warehouses.
    So I ask "do you have any idea how they got in there?"She replied "It's in the back yard and the kid must have left it open. How do I get them out?!"
    "Well, I would carefully unzip the door and open it, and maybe go to the other side of the tent and try to shake it and shoo them out, or just leave it until they leave by themselves."

    "OK, I'll try that! Thanks!" she said breathlessly and sincerely.

    Then there was the time a woman called to complain about a toy crescent wrench and bolt. That's all it was, a wrench and a bolt, sold as an accessory for a toy workbench. Her complaint? The wrench and bolt didn't come with instructions. I spent about 15 minutes trying to explain to her how to use a wrench on a bolt, how it fits on it. She couldn't comprehend it. She insisted that we were negligent for not including instructions.

    --
    This space available.