Slashdot Mirror
The 7 Ways That People Search the Web
SpaceAdmiral writes "After the recent release of AOL search logs, Paul Boutin used the site splunkd.com to analyse the logs. His analysis groups searchers into seven categories: The Pornhound, the Manhunter, the Shopper, the Obsessive, the Omnivore, the Newbie, and the Basketcase. My favorite example search is in the Basketcase category: 'i hurt when i think too much i love roadtrips i hate my weight i fear being alone for the rest of my life.'"
The seven ways that people post on Slashdot.
The First Poster - Although this phenominon has been addressed and has somewhat lessened, there are still echoes of "First Post". These people wait on a "Mysterious Furure" story as post stupidities just to get in first.
The Fisher - These posters, rarely named Bobby, check-in with a kingly posts to generate replies and nothing more. Their posts, perhaps at first, seem to make sense, but on closer review contain mnay misstakes, intentionally designed to garner replies.
The old-timer - These posters, who hang around slashdot land, have forgotten to move on. They post just to show off their low slashdot id. This makes some druel, and others comment that low id does not mean more intelligent. However, they're all wrong anyway.
The reposter - Reposters wait for old stories to come up again and find modded-up comments from the old stories to repost. If this is the first time such a story is up, they post a bunch of old buzzwords that realign synergistic paradigm shifts.
The soap stander - Soap-Standers have what to say, and don't care where they say it, such as about why Bush is beery good, and that the UN and its anonymous leader are drunkards, and no amount of coffee will help.
The idiot - Idiots can't count, post moronic comments, and quickly type in useless garbage to fill in a little more space.
Have you read my journal today?
Yes, the demographic of bottom-feeders in the sample is representative of the typical idiot.
I'm not sure what category I fit in. I live in a padded cell, and just used AOL search for the first time to obsessively shop for Manhunter porn while eating a meat-and-vegetable stew.
Some attitudes replaced or by cgi optimizes
The people who switch Tor nodes for every search they perform, so that later, then don't end up having articles written about them calling them weirdos and porn-freaks. Sheesh, what's wrong with horses?
This is a sig. It is appended to the end of comments I post.
"For we are all the Pornhound, the Manhunter, the Shopper, the Obsessive, the Omnivore, the Newbie, and the Basketcase, sincerely, the Breakfast Club"
Probably most people on this board are too young to remember anyway....
One of the search results from the famous pornhound.
69 927 3d molestation and rape porn 2006-05-20 17:20:16 9 http://slashdot.org/
Now we know why this site is so popular.
You forgot number seven. Should it be a troll? Or perhaps you forgot Poland?
I believe he was purposefully putting himself in the 'idiot' category for comedic value.
Perhaps the 7th category is for people who miss the joke?:)
I thought this was going to be a George Carlin skit.
In a way, it sort of is.
Innovation makes enemies of all those who prospered under the old regime... -- Machiavelli
More importantly, does that mean Trinity worked for AOL?
Give a man fire, and you warm him for the night. Set a man on fire, and you warm him for the rest of his life.
"Do niggers have x-ray vision" Truly frightening. Also note the large religious influence in a lot of the searches.
...that nobody knows how to spell "beastiality"?
You've hit upon something there. Perhaps 90% of my wife's usage of the internet is visiting 4 sites: Moviefone, Hotmail, MSN games, and IMDB. Does she use the convenient bookmark function... nope! Instead, her preferred solution is to home page Google and search for the sites there. I've explained the inherent wastefulness of using search for something where just typing into the Firefox's address bar will do the trick... but no dice.
I do have fun with it and occasionally, block Google on my DNS and watch as she complains that the internet is down.
Sweet Jesus, not while I was searching for porn!
This is not my sandwich.