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Breaking Gender Cliques at Work?
An anonymous reader asks: "No-one likes finding themselves being the 'odd one out' of a clique, and gender barriers make them harder to break. The question is simple: what can a girl in IT do when she finds herself on the outside of those cliques of boy coworkers? Or inversely, what should groups of boys at work be doing to be more welcoming for that lone girl in the IT office?"
You cannot (legally) be accused of sexual harassment for asking a co-worker out, whether its with a group or for a private date.
Actually, asking co-workers out on dates is forbidden by many corporate anti-harrassment policies. Sometimes the policies specify that multiple requests for dates is an act of harassment; other places that I've worked just mentioned that liasons between co-workers are frowned upon as a matter of professionalism.
So, you might not go to jail, but you might be fired for it. Adherance to HR's policies is usually a contractual obligation, after all; and they all frown upon dating co-workers.
My last company I contracted with, when I came on the job, I was taken aside by the senior lead to be walked thru the policies. As we went over the sexual harassment, He said, "If you see a female in our area, ask "Do you need any help here?" Don't refer the her as a HER. If she says no, they go back to work and ignore her. Don't engage in any conversation, it only opens you to a sexual harassment suit." I thought he was kidding, but said ok. 3 months later I was called into a 5 person panel investigating the sexual harassment in our area. There where 2 females, 2 males and a lawyer. I stated I had not talked to any females in the building. I was asked whether I had seen anyone talking, and that my job was riding on this. I said no. I had to sign a paper about it. Two weeks later I saw one of the guys talk to a female contractor, Talking to him afterwards - he said he was polite refusing to open the door to our security area. 2 days later I was called in to vouch for what I had seen. I was the only reason he didn't lose his job. He has 2 kids, just like I do. I won't talk to a female that is not in view of people I trust and about work.