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Virginia Spammers Go To Jail, And Pay For It

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the giving-the-ham-both-barrels dept.

An anonymous reader writes "A Virginia appeals court has upheld the first felony conviction under a state anti-spam law. In the process, the court also suggested that spam recipients might be able to sue spammers for money damages. According to the court, taxing a person's servers with unwanted e-mails is a form of trespass, little different than intruding on their land or making unwanted use of their private property. Perhaps because of this decision, spammers will soon find themselves on the receiving end of a million dollar class action suit."

9 of 326 comments (clear)

  1. Nine years for annoying AOL Customers.... by Sting_TVT · · Score: 4, Funny

    God, how many years will the "You've got Mail" voice actor get?

  2. A more suitable punishment... by __aaclcg7560 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Would be to have the spammers make and eat spam (the meat) all day while the prison guards sing about the joys of spam.

  3. Trespassing by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    taxing a person's servers with unwanted e-mails is a form of trespass

    Does this mean if I receive spam from him, I'm legally allowed to shoot him?

    1. Re:Trespassing by phalse+phace · · Score: 3, Funny

      Only in Texas

    2. Re:Trespassing by ScentCone · · Score: 4, Funny

      Does this mean if I receive spam from him, I'm legally allowed to shoot him?

      You just have to say the magic words. It's very important to use your best Edward G. Robinson tone, of course: "He was trespassing, see. Yeah. And I was fearing for my safety, see. And the safety of my loved ones, see. Yeah, see."

      It's important to be assertive about such statements. You can't sound hesitant, or imply any misgivings. That's why these are the two most useless words in the English language: "But, officer..."

      Oh, and don't shoot them in the back. And if you do, stand them back up, and shoot them again in the front. Those CSI guys can figure it out, but once they've heard your Edward G. Robinson, they'll let it go.

      Note: this is not good advice. Do not follow it, or taunt Happy Fun Ball, either.

      --
      Don't disappoint your bird dog. Go to the range.
  4. Re:ObNelson by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    I read the title as "Virgin Spammers". Well, not for long! Brown wings ahoy!

  5. Re:ObNelson by bigdavesmith · · Score: 5, Funny

    I for one am in favor of the death penalty for anyone who sends me an e-card with a big-headed cat and a song composed entirely of 'meows'. I'm coming for you, Aunt Jane.

  6. There's an easy solution... by glesga_kiss · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...just talk dirty to them. Ask them what they are wearing. If it's a girl, ask if she is wearing tights and whether she is menstrating just now. They won't be phoning you back ever again and it's not an obscene call as they dialed you. Everybody wins!!

    Another classic would be a three-way call, though I've never done this with an incoming sales call. Simply put them through to the customer service desk of one of their competitors. Sit back and laugh as they argue with each other.

    Other people suggested get an answerphone. That's just not practical for most people. If the volume of sales calls grows over the volume of personal ones then it might be worth it. But I don't want to spend the rest of my days listening to short "could you call me back?" messages from friends. If I'm going to be doing their tech support they might as well be paying for the call! ;-)

  7. ObBash by xIcemanx · · Score: 5, Funny

    In a perfect world... spammers would get caught, go to jail, and share a cell with many men who have enlarged their penisses, taken Viagra and are looking for a new relationship.


    We're getting there.