Scientists Shocked as Arctic Polar Route Revealed

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

Scientists Shocked as Arctic Polar Route Revealed

Posted by ryuzaki0 on Wednesday September 20, 2006 @08:24PM from the no-more-pesky-ice dept.

Paladin144 writes "A route unencumbered by perennial sea ice leading directly to the North Pole has been revealed by recent satellite pictures. European scientists indicated their shock as they noted a ship could sail from Europe's northern-most outpost directly to the pole, something that hasn't been possible during most of recorded human history. The rapid thawing of the perennial sea ice has political implications as the U.S., Canada, Russia and the EU jockey for control of the newly opened passages."

28 of 568 comments (clear)

Min score:

Reason:

Sort:

Is it just me by kongit · 2006-09-20 20:27 · Score: 4, Funny

Is it just me or is the world cracking up?

What was the joke?
pr0n by macadamia_harold · 2006-09-20 20:27 · Score: 4, Funny

European scientists indicated their shock as they noted a ship could sail from Europe's northern-most outpost directly to the pole, something that hasn't been possible during most of recorded human history.

Now look, I've seen quite a few movies where they go straight to the pole. No dialogue, nothing. Seriously.

--
Push Button, Receive Bacon
More to the point... by TechnoBunny · 2006-09-20 20:32 · Score: 3, Funny

Did they find any evidence of ManPolarBearPig?
strategic paradigm shift... by pedantic+bore · 2006-09-20 20:32 · Score: 4, Funny

Without the polar ice cap, where are the missle subs going to hide?

--
Am I part of the core demographic for Swedish Fish?
1. Re:strategic paradigm shift... by syousef · 2006-09-20 20:51 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Screw that! What about Santa!? I want my pressies damnit!
  
  --
  These posts express my own personal views, not those of my employer
2. Re:strategic paradigm shift... by Crayon+Kid · 2006-09-20 22:26 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Screw that! What about Santa!? I want my pressies damnit!
  Why do you think they all rustle for control of the passage? Wait for Santa on a dark december night with a squadron of marines and you got it made, man...
  
  --
  i ate crayons when i was a kid and now i have two braincells and the blue ones taste nicer
Market solution for the extinction of polar bears by Anonymous Coward · 2006-09-20 20:33 · Score: 3, Funny

teach polar bears how to operate arctic toll booths
Shocking? Not really... by Inverted+Intellect · 2006-09-20 20:33 · Score: 3, Funny

But it could have some chilling consequences.
1. Re:Shocking? Not really... by slysithesuperspy · 2006-09-20 22:55 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  In fact, we build our houses out of bricks, while Americans rebuild their wooden houses every year after the hurricane season!
2. Re:Shocking? Not really... by rk · 2006-09-21 02:58 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  In the United States, 200 years ago was an ancient age, but 200 miles is right around the corner.
  
  In Britain, 200 years ago was just yesterday, but 200 miles is the next galaxy.
  
  :-)
Re:Language and assumption troubles by violet16 · 2006-09-20 20:52 · Score: 5, Funny

Oh yeah, in geological terms, human history is less than the blink of an eye. With fossils unearthed recently showing _tropical_ weather in Northern Canada, I think it's safe to say that the Arctic ice cap is a temporary feature.

I think it's safe to say that humankind is a temporary feature.

--
I should buy some cement.
Polemic by ian_mackereth · 2006-09-20 20:53 · Score: 5, Funny

We'll know that global warming has really taken hold when there's a clear-water path to the South Pole!
1. Re:Polemic by $RANDOMLUSER · 2006-09-20 22:37 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  Assuming that you, too, are on land, you'll find his joke directly overhead.
  
  --
  No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism. - Winston Churchill
Re:There goes Santa Claus by JohnSearle · 2006-09-20 20:54 · Score: 5, Funny

And in other news, Santa's workshop is nowhere to be found.

Yeah. I read somewhere that he was bought out by Wallmart, and then dismantled.

- John
Re:Look on the bright side by Opportunist · 2006-09-20 21:01 · Score: 5, Funny

You mean we'll be spared of a Titanic 2? Hooray for global warming!

--
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
Re:Language and assumption troubles by clickclickdrone · 2006-09-20 21:31 · Score: 4, Funny

>1. So it happened earlier in recorded human history?
>2. There was technology throughout most of human history that recorded Arctic ice cover?
Haven't you heard of diaries?
Mar 4th 1437
Still cold and boring. Caught breakfast. Fish again. Went for a walk to warm up. Noticed a bit of a crack in the ice and followed that for a while. Bumped into a big pole sticking out the ground. WTF? Some gnarly guy nearby said 'That'll be the North one, sonny.' Maybe someone hammered the pole in too hard and it cracked the ice? Walked back home. Fish for supper.

If that's not evidence, I don't know what is.

--
I want a list of atrocities done in your name - Recoil
Don't forget... by hyfe · 2006-09-20 21:36 · Score: 5, Funny

U.S., Canada, Russia and the EU
Not to mention, Norway!
Too small to mention, heh? I'll let you know we've never lost a single war against Russia nor the U.S... and we seriously intend to keep the record perfect!

--
"" How about taking the safety labels off everything, and let the stupidity-problem solve itself? """
1. Re:Don't forget... by myowntrueself · 2006-09-20 22:13 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  A people who can actually *eat* lutefisk need fear no invaders...
  
  (My theory on lutefisk is that it originates from an ancient Viking recipe for cleaning dried blood from weapons and armor... then one day a bored and drunken Nord tried eating it and didn't die)
  
  --
  In the free world the media isn't government run; the government is media run.
Priorities?!?! by Timberwolf0122 · 2006-09-20 22:41 · Score: 5, Funny

So a huge fuck-off crack appears in the pole and the first response is not hey! how do we fix it, no, it's hey I want dibbs on trade routes.

This! This! is why I want to vote communist!

--
In the not too distant future, next Sunday A.D.
Re:Actually, it'll be more sane. by Anonymous Coward · 2006-09-20 23:48 · Score: 5, Funny

They said we were daft, trying to build a country in a swamp
Re:Defensive wall by Hijacked+Public · 2006-09-21 00:42 · Score: 5, Funny

Or, if they build the dam out of wood, a giant army of beavers.

--
"Sacrifice for the good of The State" - The State
You're Welcome by T.E.D. · 2006-09-21 01:43 · Score: 3, Funny

For centuries your European explorers searched in vain for a Northwest Passage to China. They eventually had to give up and admit failure.

But now, thanks to good old Yankee know-how, we have created one for you. Long-dreamed of commercial trade oppertunties have been opened to you! No, no, there's no reason to thank us. Really. It was our pleasure.

If there's anything else you need that can be accomplished via massive greed, sloth, and lack of self-awareness, don't hesitate to ask us.
Re:The implications... by Aqualung812 · 2006-09-21 01:55 · Score: 5, Funny

YEA! Now we can burn MORE oil, and that will melt MORE ice, letting us get to MORE OIL!!! WHOOOHOOOO!

--
Grammer Nazis - I mod you "troll" unless you actually add something on-topic. Yes, I know I have mispellings in my sig.
Global warming skeptics by DavidHumus · 2006-09-21 02:15 · Score: 3, Funny

...keep fingers over eyes and in ears and keep saying
La la la - I can't hear you...
Re:Defensive wall by MightyYar · 2006-09-21 02:22 · Score: 3, Funny

Beavers vs. Termites! War strategy or new Samuel L. Jackson movie?

--
W..w..W - Willy Waterloo washes Warren Wiggins who is washing Waldo Woo.
Re:Arctic melting by Del+Vach · 2006-09-21 02:29 · Score: 5, Funny

What the hell? This is the INTERNET, nobody concedes a point! Challenge his math, mock his sentence structure, insult his mother, threaten to have your lawyer contact him... without enough flames the tubes may cool!
Planetary Distress Signal ...? by handy_vandal · 2006-09-21 02:55 · Score: 3, Funny

"Mister President, perhaps you should transmit a planetary distress signal ... while we still have time."

-- Sarek: "STIV:TVH", Stardate 8390

--
-kgj
1. Re:Planetary Distress Signal ...? by Flummox · 2006-09-21 03:57 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Now? In our moment of triumph? I think you overestimate their chances.