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Star Trek XI - What We Know
Jean Lucy writes "TwitchGuru has an article outlining in detail what is known about Star Trek XI. The film is in the early stages of production, led by J.J. Abrams (creator of Lost), and the movie will most likely be a prequel featuring Kirk and Spock in their younger years. No word of Matt Damon to play Kirk, though..." From the article: "As reported in early September, even former Star Trek actors are saying that CBS has kicked Rick Berman off the Trek bandwagon. This helps to allay the fears of those who say that 'they' will screw up this movie as 'they' have been doing for the past several years. As Anthony Pascale put it to me, however, 'There is no they any more. Everyone who has worked on Star Trek previously, from the top executives at the studio to the guy who sweeps the floor on-set, is gone. There's now a totally different production team running Star Trek. This is what people have been asking for now for years.'"
to the guy who sweeps the floor on-set, is gone
Poor guy...
Cause odd/even principle will show that this movie will be terrible anyway so lets just get it over with.
I was. I hated the guy who swept the floor.
# Has a bigger spaceship, which can separate into two spaceships.
# Quotes Shakespeare all the time. Hell, even the ability to speak without pausing every two to three seconds puts him above Kirk
# Not only the president of the Enterprise, but also a client.
# Was turned into a robot. Robots are cool.
# Can say "Make it so" in 43 different inflections in 6 different languages.
# Isn't a walking sexual harassment suit. Hiring Picard instead of a skirt-chaser like Kirk is estimated to have saved the Federation 23 billion credits worth of legal fees and hush money paid to the mothers of illegitimate children spread out across hundreds of star systems.
# Has an annoying techno song compsed totally of his lines. Then someone took the time to make a music video by finding the scenes the lines were from, and editing them to fit the song. Crazy.
# Wasn't made an admiral. Kirk told him not to let starfleet promote him, and he didn't. Therfore Picard is better.
# Picard would never, ever tell his fans to GET A LIFE!
# Kirk was a leader of followers. That's the only reason he (almost) got away with it.
# Picard's worst episodes were originally written for Kirk.
# Picard discovers new life, new civilizations and strange new worlds, not discarded movie sets from 1950s period dramas.
# Picard can act out entire Shakespearean plays, not merely remember 5 or 6 lines.
# Picard can get his ship to orbit a planet in both directions.
# Picard would never ever date a shape-shifter who had previously morphed into a little girl.
# Picard doesn't need to wear glasses.
# Picard has so much backbone Starfleet designers had to cut out a section of his command chair for it all to fit in.
# Picard didn't have to reprogram a computer to give him better grades in order to graduate from Starfleet Academy.
# Picard has to contend with crap Starfleet Admirals. If he stole a starship only to have it get destroyed, he'd get vaporized, not given captaincy of a new one like in the easy old days.
# Picard commands his ship using the big head.
# Picard has a ship whose engines can take it.
# Three words: seven whole seasons.
# Picard never uses Grecian 2000.
# Picard has to contend with the "Prime Directive", a ruling imposed on him by Starfleet after they saw what a complete shambles resulted when they let Kirk meet new alien races.
# The only way Picard would allow Tribbles on his ship would be as hors d'oeuvres.
# Picard never met Joan Collins.
# Picard's bridge doesn't sound like an aviary.
# Picard participates in the odd archaeological dig. Kirk would make a suitable subject for one.
# One question: to which Captain would you entrust the safety of your daughter?
# Picard is far too cool to beam down to a planet, strip to his waist and wrestle with some guy in a rubber lizard suit. He lets his First Officer do all that for him.
# Picard never shot his best friend's body into space in a photon torpedo.
# Kirk probably thinks a concerto is a kind of ice cream dessert.
# Picard doesn't need hair, real or not.
# Picard's crew are too sophisticated to be taken over by a bunch of women in gogo boots and have the most intelligent person aboard controlled by a box that has less buttons than a Super Nintendo joypad.
-- Ensign Montoya
Oh, say does that Star-Spangled Banner entwine / The myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's vine?
Q could wipe out the entire Enterprise timeline. Then we could all feel good about ignoring it
When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!