Slashdot Mirror
IT and Divorce?
frank_tudor asks: "I am graduate student and work as a web developer. I am also getting a divorce and I have a son caught in the middle.
I believe my profession had a part in it. For my graduate thesis I am writing a paper about Dads who work in the computer industry, divorce and custody. I think our industry causes a high rate of divorce but I need some help from the Slashdot community.
My questions are: How many of you computer Dads have also gone through divorce and have retained either half or full custody of your children? Do you think your job had something to do with it? What were some of your hardest challenges and are your kids happy?"
You probably married your wife for a wrong reason. At least, when compared to the option that you could help her rehabilitate from alcoholic problems and violent tendencies, it does not weigh enough. Isn't unconditional help and love what a family is for?
I once had a signature.
They want their prince charming to bring them money so they can spend, but in order to earn, you have to work.
Ladies, you can't have your cake and eat it at the same time, so if what you want is a warm body, get yourself a gigolo. But just make sure he's out of the way when hubby comes home and wants to pork you or wants a blowjob, and, by all means, give him the blowjob. After all, he's the one who pays the bills.
Yeah, and Dahmer had a great home life growing up. He turned out wonderfully... :/
Not knowing much about your actual situation, due to lack of details given by you, but only knowing what you told us, I would say that your an idiot. Now, before I explain that, let me say this up front, and you can take what I have to say for whatever you want. I'm 26 years old, a recent graduate with an associate degree in network engineering and a bachelors in MIS. I've been doing off and on contracting work for several years now, and have finally landed a full time IT job taht I've been at for seven months and still kicking. I'm single, never married, and haven't been in a relationship for two years now. I'm also a Christian. I think that there are few cases were a profession is the actual root cause of a divorce. For those people who claim "I worked too much and thats why I'm divorced" or from the other side, "He worked too much, and tahts why we're divorced", that is the cheap way out of it. They are not looking at the true root causes of their problems, they are not wanting to put any of the blame on themself. If you want the marriage, and you want it to work, then you have to work for it. My parents have been married for damn near 40 years, and are still diong great. My father worked for 40 years with the same company, in which he delt with some IT stuff as well as other aspects of the company. I remember times on vacation where he would have to take time out of the trip to get on a confrence call, or to log on with the laptop and resolve a problem. Yet the marriage is still lasting. Too many people in this country take marriage for granted and divorce is WAY to easy to get. People should actually get to know someone before they actually tie the knott instead of rushing into marriage. Given, being together for a while then getting married does not always result in a great marriage, but it sure as hell doesn't hurt anything either. I think that you need to take a LONG hard look at yourself, your spouse, and your marriage and figure out if you can work things out. Divorce can be a very horribly, emotional experience not just for the parents, but ESPECIALLY for the kids. I have several close friends that have had parrents get divorced, and they have told me how hard it is for them. There are, however, times that I do agree that getting a divorce is actually better for the kids then seeing the parents *duke it out* all the time. BUT, if you and your wife truely love your kids, then y'all will try to work things out before rushing into a divorce that can cause so man emotional problems in your kids. But don't sit there and expect me to believe that your job caused the divorce. One thing y'all may want to consider trying, if you haven't yet, is bring Christ into your entire family's life, and see what he says about divorce. I would suggest accepting Him as your savior and trying to work out the problems. As far as your thesis goes, good luck in not getting it thrown out. I doubt you will find any evidence that shows a relationship between IT jobs and divorce. Obviously there are people out there who work in the IT field and have been through divorces, but that does not mean that there is a relationship there. I think everyone else so far as had some good things to say about causes of divorce. Someone else made the comment about IT peole having anti social skills. Perhaps you should look at a thesis along the lines of IT geeks and their anti social skills that result in relationship troubles. And again, that is not saying that all IT geeks are anti social, but lets face it, some are. I personally don't feel that I am, but I've also held sales jobs where I've had to help the general public, so I've developed social skills in that. Are you anti social? Thats it for me. I hope that you and your wife deicde that it will be more beneficial to try to work things out. Good luck with your problems, and God Bless.