Why Microsoft Can't Compete With iTunes

A reader submitted "Why Microsoft Can't Compete With iTunes which is an interesting op-ed piece about the differences between the two companies, but also the intersection with a different type of business like that of television. I've read some of the same arguements before, but this piece ties it up nicely together."

Comments

Somebody tell me quick...

[justinbach]

what airline I can fly to have an iPod built into my headrest, and a Ballmer-Zune hybrid for a flight attendant?

Re:Somebody tell me quick...

[ciaohound]

That's no flight attendant. It's a space station. Turn the ship around.

Brown

[MouseR]

Enough said.

The day Microsoft...

[endemoniada]

...designs an MP3-player that actually does what it's supposed to, that's when I'll buy it.

What I don't want is an MP3-player that's DRM-infested, but doesn't even play their own, much advertised DRM format, an MP3-player with WiFi that can ONLY communicate with other MP3-players or an MP3-player with a navigational wheel that doesn't spin.

Congratulations Microsoft, at least you reinvented the wheel! :=)

Re:The day Microsoft...

[Anonymous Coward]

Congratulations Microsoft, at least you reinvented the wheel!

Well, you have to give Microsoft credit. They're in it for the long haul and recognize that since they're going to be pulling this load for years, a highly customized wheel is the way to go. Eventually everyone will be using their wheels, so it seems entirely reasonable to reinvent one for their own needs. Admittedly R&D didn't have the time to really get the kinks worked out at this early stage, but there are certain advantages to the Microsoft Wheel:

- Square wheels have distinct manufacturing efficiencies over conventional "round" wheels.

- Although heavy, the Microsoft wheel is cut from America's abundant granite reserves.

- The Microsoft wheel is less susceptible to attack by strong acid and insects than many competing technologies.

- Microsof's innovative research has shown that the square production version of the Microsoft wheel produces a dramatically improved rolling efficiency versus the early prototype triangular wheels.

- Due to Microsoft's dedication to innovation, within five years the company fully expects to double the number of sides on their wheels.

- Microsoft's special contractual relationships with its technology partners will guarantee that 94% of wheels sold will be Microsoft wheels, even if the wheel doesn't necessarily receive the abundant praise lavished on its competitors.

- Different versions of the Microsoft wheel are largely interchangeable and shoud interoperate on any Microsoft or Microsoft partner vehicle, without major modifications. Microsoft has dubbed this feature RollsForSure.

- To simplify and standarize the adoption of Microsoft wheels across the entire spectrum of wheeled vehicles, from diesel-electric locomotives to toy cars, Microsoft has announced three variations:

1) Wheel Home Edition: three feet tall, six inches thick, solid granite, and square. Great for use on children's toys, wheel barrows, minivans, and anything around the house.

2) Wheel Professional Edition: three feet tall, one foot thick, solid granite, and square. Perfect for hand trucks, executive novelty toys, SUVs, and every office need.

3) Wheel Ultimate Edition: three feet tall, two feet thick, solid premium polished granite, and square. Ideal for use on forklifts, locomotives, race cars, and in any highly demanding "mission critical" environment.

All Microsoft wheels will include a helpful paper clip to offer you technical advice: "It looks like your Microsoft wheel has fallen over pinning you underneath with nine broken ribs and unable to breath. Would you like me to (1) Help you rally your fading strength to lift the wheel back upright; (2) Send feedback to Microsoft on the circumstances that led to your wheel tipping over; or (3) Let you die in lonely agony?"

At this point no one in the industry can really perceive how Microsoft can conceivably fail with this strategy. Nonetheless, there are those who proclaim they'll never use Microsoft wheels. We were able to locate a few lonely tinkerers and auto enthusiasts who swore with almost religious zeal that they'll never use Microsoft wheels.

Others have chosen to reverse engineer the Microsoft wheel and produce compatible alternatives from their own freely available granite, quarried from local open pits. Drawing on the stone cutting experience of the community, the prototypes of the these "open pit" alternatives to the official Microsoft design aren't perfectly compatible with the real thing. Many that we observed were well carved, but incompatible due to a greater number of sides than the standard four.

To counter groups resisting adoption of the Microsoft wheel standard, the company has started a letter writing campaign to local newspapers all over the country drawing attention to drawbacks of non-Microsoft wheels. The letter cites three main issues:

a) Whether any vehicle that doesn't use Microsoft wheels is a safe investment given that other wheel manufacturer

Apple a very minor player in PC industry

[krell]

The article called Apple a minor player in the PC industry. Yes, I'll say 0% (Apple has yet to market a PC) is a rather small share.

Marketing strategy for surplus Zune players

[Anonymous Coward]

Service pack 1 of Vista comes with one free Zune player. Service Pack 2 comes with two free players and Service Pack three will have three Zune players bundled with it. All remaining players will be divided evenly in Service Pack four, they are expecting to give four to six players with each service pack four upgrade. Gates apparently has coined a new term, Attrition Marketing".