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Time Warner Considering Demerging with AOL

Gracenotes writes "According to the Daily Telegraph, America Online CEO Jonathan Miller notes that AOL might be successful enough to break away from Time Warner and still remain in business. According to Miller, AOL is providing many online services, which provide competition against Google, Yahoo, and other rivals. Since its merger with Time Warner and plummet in value, such features have been increasingly emphasized."

11 of 105 comments (clear)

  1. Providing services? by airencracken · · Score: 5, Funny

    The same services that can be had for five dollars in full metal jacket. Sucky Sucky.

    --
    Hell is other people - Jean-Paul Sartre
    1. Re:Providing services? by shaneh0 · · Score: 5, Funny

      > Yeah, a lot of words are commonly used in business, but it doesn't mean they're actual
      > words, or that they are being used correctly.

      Like "Honesty," "Integrity" and "Ethics" for example.

  2. Re:Hooray for AOL... by SnprBoB86 · · Score: 5, Funny

    yes... that "might"... that means they might NOT be able to stay in business. HURRAY!

    --
    http://brandonbloom.name
  3. AOL's Niche market by pookemon · · Score: 3, Funny

    They'll be successful on their own because they have a niche market. It's the "Freedom of Information" market...

    --
    dnuof eruc rof aixelsid
  4. Competition? by Mantrid42 · · Score: 5, Funny

    AOL is competing with Google and Yahoo? I guess in the sense that a one-legged horse with rabies is competing in the Kentucky Derbie, that might be accurate... if the horse is also dead.

  5. have they tried calling AOL yet? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    AOL: Hi this is AOL, how can we help you?

    TimeW: Well, I'd like to cancel my service

    AOL: sorry to hear that, can we offer you our high speed internet services?

    TimeW: No, thats ok.. I just want to cancel the account, I'm not a n00b anymore.

    AOL: have you tried our great new chatting shizz?

    TimeW: look, I want to quit, do it now plz kthx

    AOL: I"m having a hard time understanding exactly what you want me to do?

    (insert 9 more minutes of infuriating banter here)

    anyway.. Time Warner knows they have a dinosaur on their hands.

  6. The conversation will go something like this.. by Channard · · Score: 5, Funny

    Time Warner Exec: Okay, it's decided. We're going to demerge with you.
    AOL Exec: Really? Why do you want to demerge with us?
    TW: I guess you weren't as profitable as we hoped.
    AOL: Well, if I could offer you 10,000 free AOL shares would you consider not demerging?
    TW: Look, it's a done deal. We're demerging. Just do it.
    AOL: Really? You're sure I can't change your mind?
    TW: We're demerging, dammit!
    AOL: Let me put you onto my manager.
    TW: Hey, wait, I just want to demerge *transfer*
    AOL VP: So, sir. I gather you're thinking of demerging. Are you aware of the many benefits being merged with AOL offers.
    TW: JESUS CHRIST! Just Dememerge already?
    AOL VP: Okay, sir, just let me put you through to our demerging department.
    *click*
    TW: Hello? Hello? Fuckers! They hung up on me!

    1. Re:The conversation will go something like this.. by bytesex · · Score: 3, Funny

      Time Warner Exec: Okay, it's decided. We're going to demerge with you.
      AOL Exec: Really? Look. It's _US_ who bought _YOU_. So _WE_ are going to demerge with _YOU_, not the other way 'round.
      TW: Ha ! Loser. We are bigger now. _WE_ are going to demerge with _YOU_.
      AOL: Hell no ! _WE_ are going to demerge with _YOU_ motherf$%^# !
      TW: No ! Because I'm going to call the demerge department now !
      AOL: Not if I can get there quicker ! Hello ?! Hello ?! Fucker ! He hung up on me !

      --
      Religion is what happens when nature strikes and groupthink goes wrong.
  7. Re:Are they serious? AOL? Successful? by bm_luethke · · Score: 5, Funny

    "The only, ONLY thing holding AOL still together are people who are less internet savvy"

    My uncle swears that AOL's browser is WAY better than MSIE, Netscape, or Opera (I've had him use all of them over trying to find one he can use). AOL works and the others never do - including allowing him to login to e-bay and page rendering. I wouldn't say "internet savvy" as much as "computer savvy".

    He dropped DSL to go back to dial up because it was too "hard" to add a new e-mail through the browser - he needed AOL. I'm not real sure how he is taking the change. I know he is happy to be back in the fold, but I still hear him say he is going to go do something tonight that I know dial-up will never do (for instance, download and burn a DVD - good luck getting that done in a few hours on dial-up even though he swears it works fine). I think there is a certain amount of pride that will not allow him to say I am correct - I know he didn't download a 200+ meg file in the last 15 minutes on dial-up regardless of what he tells me.

    *shrug*. I can not really understand being that clueless on anything. While there are many many many things I know nothing about I tend to either a) trust those that are experts and do as they say (and not argue with them) or b) learn enough to do it myself. Option A isn't a big deal - there are too many things out there to know enough about (for instance, I depend on a car mechanic even though I *could* learn to do it on my own - I just do not have the time to do so and I do not enjoy working on a vehicle). Though even then I try and learn *something* about any thing I use daily/weekly, enough so that I can somewhat tell if someone is trying to rip me off or enough so that I can converse/understand what the experts tell me is wrong.

    There is obviously a market for those types of people. While my uncle is one of the worst I know, he still is not that unique. And I do not think they will ever really advance, they do not want too.

    --
    ------- Sorry about the spelling, I suffer from two problems. Dyslexia makes it difficult to spell well, lazy makes it
  8. Re:Hooray for AOL... by benplaut · · Score: 5, Funny

    Oh, cmon. It's much better to see them die slowly and painfully than not stay in business.
    Besides, my frisbee supply is running low.

  9. Re:As long as they don't... by cofaboy · · Score: 3, Funny

    Whats the problem with that?

    Clueless, uses MS Windows + AOL
    Non-clueless, block all that is AOL,
    Non-clueless, internet experience improves 30,000%

    No problem

    --
    In the end, It's all bovine dung you know