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Cell Phone Use May Be Bad For Your Sperm

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the hang-up-and-propogate dept.

imaginaryelf writes, "WebMD reports that researchers have found a link between hours of cell phone use and sperm quality. 'In a study led by researchers from The Cleveland Clinic, men who used their cell phones the most had poorer sperm quality than those who used them the least.' We Slashdotters know that correlation does not equal causation, so further research is needed to understand the link, but just in case, maybe men should cut back on the hours of cell phone use?"

19 of 120 comments (clear)

  1. Got it where it counts by Hillgiant · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hey, what I lack in quality, I make up for in quantity.

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    1. Re:Got it where it counts by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      I can't seem to find anything wrong with my sperm. It's as green and solid as ever.

    2. Re:Got it where it counts by Chemisor · · Score: 2, Funny

      I am sure you already have an impressive amount, after decades of savings and all...

  2. Easily solved by Robotech_Master · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'll just not let my sperm use the phone.

    --
    Editor Emeritus and Senior Writer, TeleRead.org
    1. Re:Easily solved by Pharmboy · · Score: 2, Funny

      Hell, I was thinking that storing my cell phone in my underwear was a lot cheaper than condoms or birth control pills.

      Keeps the boys warm, too.

      --
      Tequila: It's not just for breakfast anymore!
  3. Like it matters... by aitikin · · Score: 4, Funny

    We'd need girlfriends/wives before it really mattered!

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    "Don't meddle in the affairs of a patent dragon, for thou art tasty and good with ketchup." ~ohcrapitssteve
  4. Re:Bonus! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
    My wife and I don't want any more children, so anything that makes that less likely sounds good to me.
    Like cutting your dick off?
  5. There's a correlation alright. by Who235 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I think the kind of jerk who is always on a cell phone is the kind of jerk with low quality sperm to begin with.

    My sperm are the size of M&M's and they have teeth and can't be killed by conventional weapons. Do I use a cell phone all day?

    Hell no. If I want someone to know something, I punch it in Morse code right on their forehead.

    1. Re:There's a correlation alright. by Verteiron · · Score: 2, Funny

      You bastard, I just blew an unhealthy quantity of Coke right out my nose.

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      End of lesson. You may press the button.
    2. Re:There's a correlation alright. by drinkypoo · · Score: 2, Funny
      You bastard, I just blew an unhealthy quantity of Coke right out my nose.

      What exactly is the U.S. RDA for expelling coca-cola through your nasal passages?

      --
      "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
  6. Of course... by Junta · · Score: 4, Funny

    A lack of quality sperm causes high cell phone usage!

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    XML is like violence. If it doesn't solve the problem, use more.
  7. Birth Control by spoonboy42 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Who needs a condom, I've always got my T610 in my jeans' pocket.

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    Anonymous Luddite: "What do you think of the dehumanizing effects of the Internet?"
    Andy Grove: "Not Much."
  8. The real danger... by tverbeek · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'm just afraid that teenage boys will read this and try using their cell phone as a contraceptive device. "Come on, babe, it's safe... you know I'm on the cell at least an hour a day..."

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    http://alternatives.rzero.com/
  9. the most important thing... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    it still tastes the same

  10. Ow! My sperm! by McGregorMortis · · Score: 4, Funny

    Bender: "What should we point it at first?"
    Fry: "I dunno. Try it on me!" *zap* "Ow! My sperm!"
    Bender: "Wow! Neat! Mind if I try that again?" *zap*
    Fry: "Huh, didn't hurt that time."

  11. The direct link by Rob+T+Firefly · · Score: 4, Funny

    I know it'll be bad for the one obnoxious cellphone dude who takes the same bus as me, since I'm just three more 50 Cent ringtones away from kicking him sqare in the junk.

    --
    Slashdot Burying Stories About Slashdot Media Owned
  12. Damnit! by Karganeth · · Score: 2, Funny

    I knew I shouldn't have let my sperm use cellphones... :(

  13. "Cell Phone Use May Be Bad For Your Sperm" by Anti_Climax · · Score: 2, Funny

    That's fine, I wasn't using it anyway.

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    Even people that believe in pre-destiny look both ways before crossing the street.
  14. A dose of coke through the nose by tepples · · Score: 3, Funny
    What exactly is the U.S. RDA for expelling coca-cola through your nasal passages?

    I don't know about Coke out, but a dose of coke in is about 50 mg.