Predicting Launch Title Review Scores

Next Generation is hosting an article attempting to prognosticate the spread of review scores for the PS3 and Wii. Author Matt Matthews does this by examining historical precedents for previous system launches. From the article: "Next month Sony's PlayStation 3 will launch with only two games which will get an average review score of 90% or better. On the other hand, Nintendo's Wii will have three games which will average scores of 90% or better. And it is almost certain that each of those consoles will launch with two absolute stinkers, games which consistently score below 60%... How can we know this? Because history tells us that this is what happens with console launch titles." For even more analysis of the data, Matthews has additional charts on curmudgeon gamer.

Comments

Ringbarer Interactive announce 2007 catalog

[ringbarer]

Purveyor of racist yet truthful anti-islamic Slashdot troll postings, Ringbarer, today announced the formation of Ringbarer Interactive Entertainment - providing games for Linux.

"With the recent announcement that Linux is still not ready for the desktop, we thought it was time that Linux users had more games to play than poorly coded Tetris clones, Tux Racer, and that hilarious applet where you stop Bill Gates from installing Windows over Operating Systems that don't exist anymore.

To that end we have created a new dynamic episodic series of franchised Interactive Entertainment Experiences, catered for the Linux demographic. So we'll be forcing the games to be registered and installed online because we know fine well that Linux users would just try to steal them."

But what about the games? The 2007 release catalog promises to have something for all Linux gamers:

SIM NIGGER
Ringbarer Interactive Entertainment's flagship title - SIM NIGGER is a freeform sandbox game containing a miniature representation of New Orleans. The floods may have been drained, but that gives your SIM NIGGER opportunity to indulge in the kind of behaviour that only Niggers know and love. Smoke crack; rob tourists at gunpoint; do drive by shootings; eat stolen watermelon; loot televisions; acquire 'bling'; anally rape children; spout incomprehensible gibberish into your (stolen) mobile phone; draw welfare checks; and all that other wholesome stuff. Only with SIM NIGGER can pasty white overprivledged middle-class suburban teenagers express their dislike for Mommy and Daddy by adopting a culture that was never theirs in the first place. Featuring a meticulously marketed 'Urban' soundtrack from Eminem, Fiddy Cent, and Vanilla Ice.

Contains inbuilt advertising from Massive Entertainment who shall plaster every available in game billboard with the same picture, whilst claiming it makes the game more 'realistic', because you're stupid enough to fall for that thing.

ESRB WARNING: Contains hidden scenes of consentual fucking available by manually patching the game to include a DivX viewer and several separately downloaded gigabytes of pornography.

BATTLEFIELD: NOW
The poorly-optimised lagfest that is the Battlefield franchise finally wheezes its way onto the Linux platform. The latest Cancerware(tm) technology ensures that not only will your games take even LONGER to start, thus building anticipation; but even the fastest machine will be ground to a halt - ensuring a fair playing field for all.

Cancerware(tm) is an exciting and revolutionary addition to the franchise, as it shall interface with our servers every game to deliver the very latest geopolitical situation to eager gamers. Whichever enemy the USA are at war with at the moment will be the enemy you are shooting on screen, taking realism to the max! You can be shooting ungrateful Iraqi Insurgents one minute, and nuke-wielding North Koreans the next. Remember, folks, we have ALWAYS been at war with North Korea!

Guaranteed to force you to manually rewrite your firewall's bytecode and install every possible graphics development kit on the planet just to be able to run the fucking thing! And then do it all again every time it's patched! Just be fucking grateful!

SPACE MARINE XENOMORPH BUGHUNT 4 - EPISODE 1
Exciting and revolutionary FPS from the makers of SPACE MARINE XENOMORPH BUGHUNT 3. Control a tough talking American Space Marine through several levels of tense, pulse-pounding point-and-click action. Listen to poorly written contrived banter which was considered embarassing when James Cameron first wrote it twenty years ago. Fight ever larger and fatter aliens which are so ludicrous that even Todd McFarlane would wipe his ass on the sketchpad if he ever drew one. Contains the terrifying "Industrial Factory" level, as well as "Sewers", "Crate Warehouse", and "Industrial Factory 2", leading to an exciting plotline cliffhanger to be