Disconnecting Completely While On Vacation?

vonsneerderhooten asks: "This summer, I took a week-long vacation, left my cell phone at home and enjoyed the liberation of being completely disconnected from the (working) world. Recently, I came upon an article stating that many people don't take vacations longer than a long weekend. Worse still, a majority are worrying about work, calling the office and checking e-mail. How far removed are you when on vacation? To what lengths will you go to make yourself (un)available?"

Comments

Weekends aren't vacations.

[dada21]

When I think of vacations, I think of vacating -- leaving something empty of... me! A weekend trip is not a vacation; it takes me about 24 hours after landing to fully appreciate that I've left. It takes me 24 hours before the take-off flight to mentally prepare myself for returning. That means 48 hours is the prep time each way, at least in my experience. I need at least 10 days to truly appreciate a vacation -- and that means no cell phone, e-mail or web.

I take trips all the time, at least 2-3 trips a month. I always take my cell and PDA with me, but I usually leave the web behind. If I am taking a short trip, it is non-web business related, and I write off as much as legally possible. But if I start jumping online, that business trip becomes inefficient for me, and I don't get my work done, so even with a write-off it is still a financial loss.

I can not imagine NOT taking 2-3 weeks off each quarter for a real vacation. What prevents people from doing that? I hear it from friends who are overworked (usually because they are over-indebted): they can't leave because they'll miss something important at work. I never heard of this before because I always make sure that my future replacement in my position is trained for handling any emergencies when I am gone. I guess too many people are too protective of their position -- this usually means they see the future as a dead end or they see their abilities as plateaud. In this case, not taking a vacation really means they are just trying to hold ground.

I can't think of a single project that my expertise is needed on for the entire project, or even 50% of it. If you are good at handling emergencies, people will pay you just to be around holding their hand during non-emergencies. This is the opposite of expendable, and it also opens up your schedule for vacations -- real ones.

If your life doesn't allow for it, what are you doing even bothering to live? What is so important that a vacation would create a risk/reward ratio that is out of whack? For many, I think you have to look at lifestyle -- is your house so big that being out of work for one year will hurt you? Sell it. Are your monthly expenses so big that you can't pay them for 24 months with zero income? Sell things and learn to cut expenses. Is your budget so tight that when you do have time to take off, you have to pay for the trip on credit cards and it'll take 3-10 years of future income to cover your trip? start prioritizing what is important.

If I don't get 2-3 weeks of downtime each quarter, I am not efficient. Also, being away from work lets my customers know how much they need me when there ARE problems. The risk/reward ratio is very small -- little risk, and a huge reward from both sides: I'm personally rewarded by downtime, and I'm also rewarded if an emergency happens that I would be best at solving.

Life is way too short to focus only on working and buying a bigger house and a bigger car and a bigger TV or video game system. Even just 3 weeks a year of downtime is barely over 6% of the year -- a very meager idea of vacationing. Then again, I think many people give 10% to God, 30% to their employer, 4% to family, 6% to themselves and 50% to the State. I guess there's the prime problem.

Re:Weekends aren't vacations.

[denebian devil]

I can not imagine NOT taking 2-3 weeks off each quarter for a real vacation. What prevents people from doing that? I hear it from friends who are overworked (usually because they are over-indebted): they can't leave because they'll miss something important at work. I never heard of this before because I always make sure that my future replacement in my position is trained for handling any emergencies when I am gone. I guess too many people are too protective of their position -- this usually means they see the future as a dead end or they see their abilities as plateaud. In this case, not taking a vacation really means they are just trying to hold ground.

I think what usually prevents people from doing that is that most people do not receive 50 vacation days per year, which is what would approximately be required to take four 2-3 week vacations every year. Most people don't even get half that number of days, especially not until they either a) reach the upper echelons, or b) work at the same company for years/decades.

Lucky you!

Re:Weekends aren't vacations.

[gigne]

If your life doesn't allow for it, what are you doing even bothering to live?

Thanks for the encouragement, please excuse me while I hang myself.

Are your monthly expenses so big that you can't pay them for 24 months with zero income?

Is this the fabled 2 year buffer in the bank account? I don't know any one person who doesn't have to work the arse off to make enough money to live. I agree that some people spend more money than needed on non essential items, but competition in the market is so great that even cutting those out (internet/tv/phone) makes little difference. If I got rid of non-essentials, I would cut my (admittedly higher than average) income by little more than £100/m That would take me approx 18 years to make that two year buffer.

There are some eye opening statistics here http://www.poverty.org.uk/summary/key_facts.htm

Unless you earn the top brass money, you have to live as the cash flows in.

Back on topic... The above is related. People put so much emphasis on work because it is their lifeline to living. If you can afford to let your work ethic slip, then you either don't care about income, or are too rich to worry. When I go away I have to at least check my phone messages once a day, even with the trained monkey in my place things can still go wrong. It's a tragic fact of society that things need to be fixed yesterday, unfortunately this seeps into holiday time.

My 2p

Re:Weekends aren't vacations.

[dada21]

You pay too much in taxes, regulations, tariffs and other regulatory costs in the UK, so more people are poor. That's a fact that we don't see charts for.

I live in the US in what most would consider "substandard" to what the average Joe has. I sold my huge house and bought a few used (and fully depreciated) mobile homes (paid off). I sold my huge new cars and bought nice solid used ones (paid off). I downsized my utilities (more efficient windows and roof means lower energy bills, intelligent lighting means lower electrical bills, dumped cable for ondemand online). I raised my health insurance deductible for 5 years while socking away more than the deductible in gold and silver, so my health insurance is dirt cheap. I cook at home more than I eat out (unless I get comped for providing referrals for local restaurants). I probably live on 16% the cost of most people in my income level -- 84% of that savings goes to long term savings and short term vacations. My savings are semi-liquid (hard metal currency and some property) which keeps me from spending it stupidly.

I'm not thrifty, I'm just future-focused. There will come a day when I'll walk away from all that work and continue to live "substandard" but travel even more -- why bother with a 2500 square foot house when my 1000 square foot mobile homes throughout the country offer me huge savings over hotels, AND I can travel elsewhere with the money I saved not throwing 37 years of interest to the mortgage banks (30 year mortgage + 7 year average refinance to pay off).

Re:Weekends aren't vacations.

[IcyHando'Death]

Life is way too short to focus only on working and buying a bigger house and a bigger car and a bigger TV or video game system

With you right up until there ...

Re:Weekends aren't vacations.

[duffbeer703]

The problem is systematic mismanagement. In today's world, if you're not fighting a fire, you're a slacker that needs to be removed. Most corporate-type employees live in a world a paranoia, fear and incompetence. Concepts like cross-training and delegating work are signs of weakness to many. Looking busy and in the loop is more important than reality.

I take 6 weeks of vacation a year, and rarely check email on the weekends unless I'm on-call. When I'm out, other people take on some of my duties. When other people are out, I do the same.

Re:Weekends aren't vacations.

[PygmySurfer]

t takes me about 24 hours after landing to fully appreciate that I've left. It takes me 24 hours before the take-off flight to mentally prepare myself for returning

I feel sorry for you. As soon as I leave the office, I'm in vacation-mode. I'm especially saddened by the 24 hours preparing for return, why cut your vacation short? Get back into work mode on THEIR time, not yours.

Re:Weekends aren't vacations.

[ag0ny]

I can not imagine NOT taking 2-3 weeks off each quarter for a real vacation. What prevents people from doing that?

Living in Japan, for example. I've got 11 days/year.

Re:Weekends aren't vacations.

[gstoddart]

I can not imagine NOT taking 2-3 weeks off each quarter for a real vacation.

Holy crap! What magical fun Universe do you live in where everyone gets 8-12 weeks of vacation per annum?

I live in Canada, and I've been at my job for 11+ years. I get four weeks per year. That's it. And, if I can't use it all in a fiscal year, I lose what I don't consume, so I don't have a chance of building up a bunch over a few years.

I'm sure the rest of us would dearly love to have 2-3 weeks per quarter to take a vacation, and the cash to go someplace and call it a real vacation. I would suggest that for the majority of people out there, that much vacation is a friggin' pipe dream!!

You are either really lucky, or really sheltered from the reality that the rest of us live in. I envy you!

Cheers

Re:Weekends aren't vacations.

[dada21]

You put that in quotes, but for many people, living in used mobile homes (how old are they if they're fully deprecated?) is substandard living.

Oldest is 1987 with an energy efficiency rating 100% better than a typical newer tract home. Newest is around 1993 or 1992 (can't recall). Some I paid ZERO for (walk-aways -- people had to move and I offered to get them out of the lot lease).

The key here is the definition of living. If you like being around your home and plan on retiring in it (not ON its future value), buy a "house." I personally like the freedom of changing if I need to, or if business/life warrants it. I also do not appreciate housing prices going up over time -- it is a game of inflation, not growing value.

Being "future-focused" shouldn't have to mean stocking up on gold, food and ammo and waiting for civilization to collapse.

Why do people sometimes think that is how I live? For me, future focused means trying to manage my time today so I have more time tomorrow to do what I want. I look at an efficient time preference as the #1 sign of wealth. I know that in my 20s, I could party it up. In my 30s, the body starts to slow down. Hit 40s, and death starts knocking (and even occurs for some). The 50s is when the body really starts giving out, and when you lose the efficiency in the market (I do believe that 30 year olds are often worth more to a market than 50 year olds because of adaptability and recent experience over lifetime of stuck-in-the-old-way experience). In the 60s, you're really feeling the heat (my mom hits 60 this year, my dad is 66, and they both are much slower than a decade ago). I have to balance my best work years with my best non-work years -- that means looking to the future as a focus for what I CAN do and what I'd WANT to do.

I'm sorry, but paying off a home for 37 years is not ownership, it is slavery to a smarter party. On a typical US$300,000 house with $50,000 down (most don't have that), you pay about US$19,000 in mortgage (6.5% fixed). US$16,200 of that is interest. Over the first ten years, you'll pay almost US$150,000 in interest alone. How is that ownership? Considering a 29% mortgage-to-gross ratio (which isn't standard, today), you'd have to pay US$65,500 to afford that loan, so in the first 10 years, over 2 years of your life is JUST in interest -- 20% of those work years. No thanks. That, to me, sounds fairly substandard in terms of freedom from stress and frustration.

It is no surprise to me that a lot of marriage problems start off with financial matters. It is no surprise to me that foreclosures are up 100-200% YOY in many regions. It is no surprise to me that many people lie about their equity-to-debt-to-income ratios. I'm not embarrassed about where I live, in fact I am proud that I can actually LIVE in terms of balancing work, recreation, family and faith. I'm pretty sure I give an equal amount to each, which to me gives me the stress-free life. The fact that there is savings on top of that, and some ability to wager some market risks (business ideas, etc), I think it is a super-standard way to live.

I'm not saying EVERYONE should live this way, I'm not saying it is the best way to live, but from the horror stories I hear from 90% of my friends and (younger) family, I can't understand why everyone wants to live the way they're living.

Use voicemail to screen people

[plover]

Lately I've been leaving a message like this on my voicemail:

Hi, this is John. I'll be out of the office until <date>. If you need to get in touch with me before then, please reconsider your options.

But my all-time favorite was the one I recorded before leaving on a family trip. "Hi. I'm on vacation for three weeks until <date>. If you need to get hold of me, please dial Scotland and ask for John."

I'd fake my death

[wonkavader]

...if I thought that would stop them from calling.

But it wouldn't.

What I do.

[grub]

A few weeks at the Betty Ford Clinic is a great way to disconnect.

Posted by AC, but a good one nonetheless

[Anonymous Coward]

Went on a 3&1/2 week trip to the other side of the world last year.
Left the laptop at home
Brought my cell phone (Razr V3, quad band, all that good stuff)

Let the office know that if they wanted to reach me it'd be between the hours of 12pm (noon) and 6pm Manila time (12am midnight to 6am eastern), that I would be charging my recall overtime rate (hourly * 3), any time I was working would not be considered "time off" (saving vacation hours) and they would be paying my cell phone bill for that month ($3.98/min for calls while I was in the Philippines) - I ended up fixing 1 problem while I was out, and everything worked out just dandy. Just imagine having your boss waiting until after midnight local time to call you and pay an exorbitant fee to fix something from halfway around the world)

I just might go back again this year.

E

It doesn't take much

[Bullfish]

All it takes is a commitment to disconnect and to stick to it. I go to a cabin on a lake about 4 hours out of town. I go on weekends, and regularly take two two week vacations. I have electricity and plumbing there, but no net connection or cell service. The phone number there, I only give to family for emergencies.

When I go there, I finish my work before I go, and leave it at work. As far as work is concerned, there is no phone there. I ain't telling. As well, when they ask how they can get a hold of me, I give them directions that will take them to the lake shore with instructions to bring a boat.

That does the job.

I would reply, but...

[fractalrock]

I would love to reply to your post, but I'm on vacation right now (disconnected completely).

My Honeymoon

[bryanporter]

I've had a real problem with this; I definitely feel my anxiety level increase whenever I am "disconnected" for any length of time. Case in point: my honeymoon.

We honeymooned in Hawaii (Maui), and while there I stayed up on email via my Treo, corresponding with people back at the office. I took great care to make sure that I did this while my wife was asleep, or at other times when we weren't together. Still, when my boss discovered that I had been reviewing code for my team while on my honeymoon he immediately had my phone's data service disconnected. At first, I was rather frustrated at being cut off, but after about 24 hours I just left the damn phone in my suitcase. In the end, my vacation was better for it.

Disconnecting is definitely a tough thing to do for extremely connected people, but it's well worth it if you can manage the first 24 hours of information drought. I was more relaxed, less concerned with time; basically, everything that I should've been doing while on vacation in the first place.

Of course, I also had 2300 emails when I got back. ;-)

Regards,
Bryan Porter

Re:My Honeymoon

[Anonymous Coward]

Reading your first few sentences, I was all ready to respond saying what a terrible waste of a trip to such a beautiful place.

I'm glad there ended up being a happy ending. You may very well have one of the best bosses in the world.

Go thank him right now, go ahead, I'll wait.

Outside of some romantic surprise, you souldn't be hiding anything from your wife on your honeymoon, ANYTHING. Your honeymoon is one time in your life that should be 100% about you and your wife, if you were spending your time sneaking off responding to emails, I'd have verry little home for your marriage. I'm glad you were able to learn to disconnect, and I'm hope you enjoyed your time with your wife all the more becasue of it.

Now, go thank your boss again.

Are none of you system administrators?

[greenmars]

Reading the comments here about turning off your cellphone, not checking email, etc., makes me wonder if there are any system administrators reading this thread.

My peace of mind is dependent on 16 servers in a server room. If all of those are working, then it's my executive director's wireless connection I have to worry about. In fact, anyone at work with a laptop is bound to have a network "problem" once a week, usually having to do with switching between home, hotel, work, etc.

Some day, I'll find a reliable "number two" person, but until then, it's 24-7. Real vacations are a distant memory -- 20 years ago during college summers.

WTF?

[Lord Kano]

My idea of vacation is someplace where I can go to "connect".

LK

Try no TV or Internet

[techstar25]

There is a little place I go to in upstate NY that is so nestled in the mountains that they can't get cable TV and don't get any broadcast TV stations either. Cell phones won't because there are no towers for miles. Most people don't bother with satellite because they are only there a few months per year. Imagine no TV and no internet. It's just me and my wife and a few board games, and some jigsaw puzzles, and of course the lake. Not only can you re-connect with your own soul, but you also get to re-connect with your spouse in a deeper way. It's also a great chance to catch up on a great book or two that's been collecting dust on the shelf. I highly recommend it.

Re:Try no TV or Internet

[antifoidulus]

Dude, you basically described the plot to "The Shining"....

I'm glad your company isn't a provider of mine ...

[debest]

.. because personally I wouldn't want to do business with an outfit that would fall apart because of the absence of a single employee. That is what would happen, isn't it? Your presence is critical to the operation of the business, and if a "problem" occured while you were unavailable, the entire operation would crumble. Right?

No? You mean that you would, in fact, be able to leave for a week and come back to find the building still occupied by employees, phones still ringing, sales still being made, etc.?

Face it: you're not THAT important. If you were hit by a bus, you'd be replaced. Business would continue without you. If they can replace you in that circumstance, they can figure out a way for you to have a vacation. The fact that they are not indicates you like never having a vacation (you're a control freak), or you don't like it and your "executive director" and his coworkers are abusive dicks for not allowing you to arrange vacation time.

Either way, your company is being very shortsighted, and cannot see that they are going to be sorry when you *do* stop working there (regarless of the circumstances of your departure). True, you're not irreplacable, but they're still going to be hurt by your not having an effective team under you.