Slashdot Mirror
The Long Arm of Microsoft
eldavojohn writes "Software giant Microsoft is helping the law track down and find phishers and political borders are no boundary for them. From the article, 'One court case in Turkey has already led to a 2.5-year prison sentence for a so-called "phisher" in Turkey, and another four cases against teenagers have been settled out of court, Microsoft said on Wednesday, eight months after it announced the launch of a Global Phishing Enforcement Initiative in March.' This initiative started back in March and has resulted in 129 lawsuits in Europe & the Middle East. Perhaps their legions of lawyers will come to some use for the rest of us but teenagers settling out of court? That reeks of RIAA/MPAA tactics to me."
What kind of boarders are they getting across? Surf-boarders? Skate-boarders? What have they done to deserve being squashed by Micros~1?
Oolite: Elite-like game. For Mac, Linux and Windows
political boarders - hate those, damn imperialists and trotskyites are the worst, they never pay their rent on time.
The o is not even close to the a on the keyboard, have to wonder...
Scene opens. Zonk is sitting in the super secret Slashdot tower of geekdom, pissed that CmdrTaco made him work the Black Friday shift while CowboyNeal is shopping for new boots and matching chaps.
....
Zonk: okay okay, time to post some slashdot stories. What to do what to do...
Zonk hits a button and instantly hundreds of submissions appear on his 52 inch computer screen
Zonk: Computer, scan for submissions relating to Microsoft or Bill gates. Group by content.
The computer buzzes and whirs for two seconds and the display changes
Computer: Algorythmic analysis shows 13 distinct possible stories. List is as follows:
1) Melinda Gates has alien baby
2) Windows Vista kills small puppies
3) Steve Ballmer makes anti-semetic remarks at PC Expo
4) Bill Gates declares "All your iPod are belong to Zune!" in internal memo.
Zonk: *abruptly cuts of the computer* Run believability algorythm 259. Display only titles a typical slashdot reader might believe as real.
Computer: Two titles remain. List is as follows.
1) Microsoft launches new Anti-linux propoganda
2) Microsoft assists in anti-phishing efforts
Zonk: Hmmmmm, run inflamatory index algorythm 86 on both titles.
Computer: Complete. Report is as follows:
Title group: Microsoft launches new Anti-linux propoganda
Inflamatory index: 23
Stories show high incidence of anti-microsoft sentiment and pro-linux stories. There is a high degree of correlation in past stories, leading to ideas that it's been rehashed too often. This may lead to a high level of "I've seen this damn story before" posts by readers. However, due to the extreme number of this type of post, index is relatively low as topic is had reached the "JonKatz" threshold of repitition, and most readers will probably ignore it.
Would you like me to run an accuracy scan index on the articles to see if this article group may be true?
Zonk: nono I don't care about that, continue with report.
Computer: Continuing with report:
Title group: Microsoft assists in anti-phishing efforts
Inflamatory index: 67
Stories show low incidence of Anti-microsoft sentiment and no pro linux sentiment. Articles appear to case MS in a good light. All factors lead to low inflamatory index except for one. One or more articles express anti-RIAA/MPAA sentiment for no particular reason. Existance of extreme, unwarranted attempt to link article to RIAA/MPAA leads to incredibly high index.
Zonk: hot damn! Scan all submissions and run inflamatory index on each submission. List submission with highest chance of "WTF this is nothing like the RIAA/MPAA."
Computer: Article returned: "The Long Arm of Microsoft."
Zonk: Sweet! Computer post at 11:53 AM with no additions or changes. Open up T1 lines 4 and 7 to accomodate the extra connections and prepare the fire supression systems. That will phish a good number of comments and help us get our hits up for the day.
And that, ladies and gentleman, is how and why slashdot posts articles with stupidity like that RIAA comment
"All great wisdom is contained in .signature files"
Where we == audience?