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The Last Games You'd Play?

Rigor Morty asks: "I am an older man (44), an avid fan of video games, and I am faced with a problem; my hands are becoming arthritic as I get older. I fear I will soon have to completely give up the console games I have loved over the years. To that end, let me ask the Slashdot Nation — if you were going to give it up, what games would you insist on playing before you had to quit? I'm willing to make some effort to do this, and spend some cash; I will buy the new consoles if I need to, or try to find obscure titles."

32 of 529 comments (clear)

  1. Me..? by RyuuzakiTetsuya · · Score: 3, Funny

    Final Fantasy XII.

    Its' 110+ hours. If I'm not sick of gaming after that, I'll never get sick of games

    --
    Non impediti ratione cogitationus.
    1. Re:Me..? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      To be fair, 85 hours of that are cutscenes.

    2. Re:Me..? by wolenczak · · Score: 2, Funny

      Duke Nukem Forever =)

    3. Re:Me..? by bluephone · · Score: 5, Funny

      The guy is 44. Even optimistically he's not going to live THAT long.

      --
      jX [ Make everything as simple as possible, but no simpler. - Einstein ]
  2. this has got to be by Nicky+G · · Score: 5, Funny

    just about the saddest goddamned thing I've ever read on slashdot. The thought of becoming an arthritis-ridden man who can't play video games is just... shocking. *sigh* I am so jumping into an active volcano when I start to get frail...

    1. Re:this has got to be by MyLongNickName · · Score: 3, Funny

      44, old? Hell, I'm old enough to be his father!

      Yeah, but this is Slashdot, so we know you aren't.

      --
      See my journal for slashdot ID's by year. Mine created in 2005. http://slashdot.org/journal/289875/slashdot-ids-by-year
  3. What about fingering your wife's vagina? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    If you're truly going to be losing the use of your fingers, I'd recommend that you finger your wife as your "last game". Massage her clitoris with your thumb, while your index finger gently rubs her G-spot.

    You should give her at least one shocker. Two in the pink, one in the stink. I'll let you figure that one out on your own.

    But really, video games should be the least of your concerns. Fingering your wife is what really matters in life.

    1. Re:What about fingering your wife's vagina? by Morphine007 · · Score: 3, Funny

      You'd figure there would be at least a couple ladies with mod points out there who would agree with the parent... cept maybe for the shocker part.

    2. Re:What about fingering your wife's vagina? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Bah! Why waste your hands on a vagina when you can just as easily buy a 12-inch strapon for those random encounters with the chtulhoid-looking thing. Bonus XPs if you dress up in armor for the event, great helm and all...

    3. Re:What about fingering your wife's vagina? by thc69 · · Score: 2, Funny

      Why is that moderated "troll"? Sure, the words were coarse, but the point is insightful: Forget silly games and do something worthwhile with the hand ability that remains.

      Or just find/make an input device that fits your mobility and keep playing.

      --
      Procrastination -- because good things come to those who wait.
    4. Re:What about fingering your wife's vagina? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      /. geeks don't have girlfriends...
      girls have cooties
      and they're way more expensive than the latest video game system

    5. Re:What about fingering your wife's vagina? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny
      Sony's working on changing that. You know what they're planning on charging for the PS4?!
      Unless it's more than half of everything you own, it'll still be cheaper than marriage.
    6. Re:What about fingering your wife's vagina? by SilverwoodUG · · Score: 2, Funny

      Since when do 44 year old gamers who visit slashdot have wives?

    7. Re:What about fingering your wife's vagina? by MobileTatsu-NJG · · Score: 3, Funny

      "and they're way more expensive than the latest video game system"

      I bought a PS3, you insensitive clod!

      --

      "I like to lick butts!" by MobileTatsu-NJG (#32700246) (Score:5, Informative)

  4. What are you talking to us for? by MillionthMonkey · · Score: 2, Funny

    If my hands were soon going to be unable to grab things, I wouldn't be wasting my time with video games.

    In 20 years stem cell technology will have progressed so that you can grow a brand new Wii controller right in the palm of your hand anyway.

  5. 44 = old? by Tablizer · · Score: 5, Funny

    I am an older man (44)

    44 is "old"? Oh shit!

    1. Re:44 = old? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      It's not just old, it's prehistoric.

    2. Re:44 = old? by MeanMF · · Score: 4, Funny

      Maybe he meant 0x44.

  6. Forget consoles... by Lord+Kano · · Score: 4, Funny

    Splurge and pay for memberships to all of the adult sites that you have ever wanted to.

    Do a LOT of masturbating now, before the arthritis takes away the ability.

    LK

    --
    "Hi. This is my friend, Jack Shit, and you don't know him." - Lord Kano
  7. Game by AnotherAnonymousUser · · Score: 5, Funny

    I'd go with Duke Nukem Forever. By then they'll have cured your arthritis.

  8. The only game that matters... by Kadin2048 · · Score: 4, Funny

    If my hands were soon going to be unable to grab things, I wouldn't be wasting my time with video games.

    I was assuming he already had the masturbation angle covered.

    --
    "Ladies and gentlemen, my killbot features Lotus Notes and a machine gun. It is the finest available."
  9. What are you talking to us for? Joy-stick nation. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    "In 20 years stem cell technology will have progressed so that you can grow a brand new Wii controller right in the palm of your hand anyway."

    Good thing too because you broke your old controller fiddling with it during your formative years.

  10. Re:The first game you played? by JeanBaptiste · · Score: 2, Funny

    disagree... I have no further desire to play Pong.

  11. Tempest by iamdrscience · · Score: 3, Funny

    Tempest is one of the best games ever. Invest in a working arcade version and enjoy.

    When you become to arthritic to play it though, you have to give it to me.

  12. Tux Racer by Svippy · · Score: 1, Funny

    It is beyond my imagination that anything since Tux Racer should have been made, because they should just have ceased making games. I can't stop loving this game. Whenever I get that PS3, my first action will be installing Linux to play Tux Racer.

    --
    Clicked pie.
  13. Re:Acupuncture by d4nowar · · Score: 1, Funny

    "If you have tried everything else it couldn't hurt."

    Aside from the needles being shoved into you.

  14. O RLY? by irc.goatse.cx+troll · · Score: 5, Funny


     

    --
    Pain lasts, kid. Its how you know you're alive. Sometimes I think this growing up thing is just pain management-TheMaxx
  15. Re:44 is "older"? by Lemmy+Caution · · Score: 4, Funny

    No, he's not! He was in his prime when he was 43, and he'll be in his prime again in 3 years.

  16. A really terrible one by RealGrouchy · · Score: 2, Funny

    Play a really bad game. Either one with bad gameplay, or which crashes every five minutes, or which makes you lose a life without any reason, etc.

    That way, you won't regret it at all when you quit.

    - RG>

    --
    Hey pal, this isn't a pleasantforest, so don't waste my time with pleasantries!
  17. The only game you need to play by dangitman · · Score: 2, Funny

    Hello Kitty Island Adventure.

    --
    ... and then they built the supercollider.
  18. Re:Change what you eat, drink more fresh water. by Glonoinha · · Score: 4, Funny

    OP : What did the /. guys say?
    Me : They said if you eat healthy foods like fresh fruits and veggies, and give up caffeine, salt, fatty foods, spicy / hot foods, tobacco, sugar and meat - you should be fine.
    OP : So basically I'm fucked.
    Me : Pretty much, yea.

    --
    Glonoinha the MebiByte Slayer
  19. Re:Hold on there Nic. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    > I will tell you that I am a month and a few days shy of 62... and I can sport a nice rod just
    > thinking about shanking my neighbor's girlfriend

    Note to self: Wait until you've finished breakfast before going online.