Slashdot Mirror
Microsoft Research Fights Critics
coondoggie writes to tell us Network World is taking a look at why Microsoft Research has to fight so hard against critics. From the article: "When the word 'innovation' is tossed about many may look down their nose at the company sitting on top of the high-tech industry — Microsoft. [...] Microsoft Research incubates not only futuristic ideas but young minds, having hired 700 interns worldwide this year including 250 computer science PhD candidates in Redmond alone, which is roughly 21% of all the computer science PhD candidates in the United States."
CS PhDs? No wonder they don't get anywhere.
Relax people, they're (bad) jokes!
"The problem is not that Microsoft research isn't doing anything interesting, it's that projects like this tend to get buried, or ignored, or simply have a few ideas shifted into existing products."
Microsoft Research is to research what AC's are to slashdot. Burned, buried, and ignored with a few modded up.
Microsoft Research! More computer science papers come out of us than from the top universities! We present them at numerous prestigious conferences around the world!
Now, in partnership with Microsoft Marketing, we are proud to announce... Research4All!
Yes, Research4All is a unique product designed to meet not only the needs of researchers around the world, but also the corporations that feed, clothe, and entertain them! For only $1299.99, you get access to three -- count 'em, three! -- research papers published by Microsoft Research! But wait, there's more!
You may read each paper a total of five times, on a total of one computer! And if you should choose to purchase our Paper Edition (for an additional $499 charge), the ink will degrade after six months. And, as an added bonus, the paper is microprinted so that copying and scanning won't work! We are also working with graphics imaging and word processing vendors to recognize certain unique, secret, and patented characteristics of both the microprinting, as well as the sentence structure!
Research was never this fun!
--Rob
Towards the Singularity.
Having given his foe some "rightious data", tmjdot (or "dot" as his friends on the 'Net called him" eased back into his Relax-tron and pulled his data-visualizers off his head. He puffed on a 'rette and stared up at the cieling. Wasting these guys one at a time was easy enough, but the softies were everywhere. They covered everything and everyone and the virus was spreading.
The resignation that he couldn't do this alone slowly zipped its way through his meat-grid. He needed help. And fast.
His mind made up, dot flipped down his goggles, cracked his datagloved fingers, and jacked in. The polyphonic lightshow of a billion voices of data slipping into his crib illuminated his face. He put out the 'rette and headed off for info-environs unknown in search of free-lance data mercenaries like himself willing to wield a weapon against the softie menance. Somewhere out there the binary existed to kill the menace, to get things back to normal. It was just a matter of getting the right programmertavists to riot with it, and getting it in time.
It was going to be a long night.
There are other operating systems, you know.....
I know of at least 2 of them that don't have activation problems at all.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.........
When the functional programming revolution hits the mainstream -- and it will very soon now as the current, C++ or Java way of developing software does not scale complexity-wise without requiring ever-increasing armies of Indians or Chinese to grind out the code -- Microsoft will be ahead of just about everybody else because they've retained the likes of Simon Payton-Jones and Erik Meijer to work in their research department. In fact, LINQ may just be the best thing to ever happen to functional programming because now that Microsoft is doing it, it becomes a legitimate enterprise programming activity.
Microsoft is an 800-pound gorilla, but do NOT knock their research arm. Whatever it may have been in the past, these days there are definitely people doing interesting stuff at the very cutting edge of computing
N4st0r, trixx0r h0bb1tz0rz! Th3y st0l3 0ur pr3c10uzz!
Hey now! Animated paperclips don't invent themselves.
Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it. --Mark Twain