Slashdot Mirror

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

Bruce Sterling's Final Prediction

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the so-long-Nostradamus dept.

In Bruce Sterling's final column for Wired, he summarizes the output of a survey of Net prognosticators conducted by the Pew Internet & American Life Project. The piece is peppered with Sterling's trademarked stop-you-in-your-tracks imagery. An example: "The bubble-era vision of a Utopian Internet is dented and dirty... The Lexus has collided with the olive tree, and its crumpled hulk spins in a ditch as the orchard smolders."

13 of 162 comments (clear)

  1. Batshit Insane by 19thNervousBreakdown · · Score: 5, Funny

    "The bubble-era vision of a Utopian Internet is dented and dirty... The Lexus has collided with the olive tree, and its crumpled hulk spins in a ditch as the orchard smolders."

    This metaphor is a can of Pringles, and its vigor is enhanced by venomous ducks that flip it daily with a caterpillar that just won't shut up.

    Seriously... what?

    --
    <xml><I><am><so><damn>Web 2.0</damn></so></am></I></xml>
    1. Re:Batshit Insane by Ed+Avis · · Score: 2, Funny

      Come back Jon Katz! We miss you!

      --
      -- Ed Avis ed@membled.com
    2. Re:Batshit Insane by Zen · · Score: 2, Funny

      Nah, wrong genre. It was music, and it was "Black Horse and the Cherry Tree" (KT Tunstall)

    3. Re:Batshit Insane by Dun+Malg · · Score: 4, Funny

      THe orchard-lexus metaphor is one of many literary constructs in its time-honored genre:

      "Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk."
      -- Jack Handey

      "Love is like racing across the frozen tundra on a snowmobile which flips over, trapping you underneath. At night, the ice-weasels come."
      -- Matt Groening

      Unfortunately, I don't think Mr Sterling was trying to be funny.

      --
      If a job's not worth doing, it's not worth doing right.
    4. Re:Batshit Insane by morgan_greywolf · · Score: 4, Funny

      Yet, it still doesn't. The book centers around the Lexus -- globalization -- and the olive tree -- tradition. I don't see how the Internet as it is today has anything to do with the collision of the Lexus and the olive tree. In my mind, the Internet is a $70,000 4.7L V8-powered 4WD Lexus LX SUV mowing down the entire olive tree orchard, while the trees scream in protest. Either that it's just a bunch of tubes, I haven't figured out which...

      --
      My blog
    5. Re:Batshit Insane by NDPTAL85 · · Score: 2, Funny

      The only alternatives promote nothing but misery. So if someone prefers misery as opposed to prosperity then yes I guess you are right. No issue ever has 100% agreement afterall.

      --
      Mac OS X and Windows XP working side by side to fight back the night.
  2. A Question In Parting by Giant+Ape+Skeleton · · Score: 3, Funny
    That column leaves me with one question for Bruce:

    Who is your meth dealer, and does he make house calls?

    --
    The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
    1. Re:A Question In Parting by jrwr00 · · Score: 2, Funny

      I don't even think meth can fuck you up that badly

      --
      WulframII - Free Online Mutiplayer 3D Tank Shooting Game
  3. The synopsis holds true... by PingSpike · · Score: 2, Funny

    Most people do stop in their tracks when they suffer an unstoppable urge to vomit.

  4. English 2.0 by dintech · · Score: 4, Funny

    The bubble-era vision of a Utopian Internet is dented and dirty... The Lexus has collided with the olive tree, and its crumpled hulk spins in a ditch as the orchard smolders.

    I think he's using that new-fangled English 2.0 thingy.

  5. Somewhere out there by CaffeineAddict2001 · · Score: 5, Funny

    "The bubble-era vision of a Utopian Internet is dented and dirty... The Lexus has collided with the olive tree, and its crumpled hulk spins in a ditch as the orchard smolders..."

    William Gibson and Chuck Palahniuk are saying to themselves: "Oh god, *I* don't sound like that, do I?"

  6. Prediction not in TFA by DaveCar · · Score: 2, Funny


    In the future, "Wired" will not suck.

    I think I still have some early vintage copies from when it first got published in the UK (~1995?). Any takers?

    No, thought not.

  7. Bad Metaphor by superid · · Score: 5, Funny

    A bad metaphor is like a leaky screwdriver.

    (shamelessly stolen from someone's /. sig)