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White Dolphin Functionally Extict

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on from the gone-the-way-of-the-dodo dept.

An anonymous reader writes "For the first time in nearly fifty years another mammal, specifically an aquatic mammal, has gone extinct. In this case, it was the white dolphin, also known as the Baiji, which used to live in the Yangtze River in China. The dolphin had been known to exist for the last 20 million years."

21 of 868 comments (clear)

  1. Oops! by justkarl · · Score: 5, Funny

    Makes me feel bad about the tuna sandwiches I had for dinner last night.

    1. Re:Oops! by Anne_Nonymous · · Score: 5, Funny

      Rest assured that all your future tuna sandwiches will be White Dolphin free.

    2. Re:Oops! by eln · · Score: 4, Funny

      Don't feel too bad, it was bound to happen. This species required constant reassurance or it would die, and it was sexually attracted to fire.

    3. Re:Oops! by derubergeek · · Score: 4, Funny

      not only did the people who put it together get paid slave wages...

      Man. Think how much cheaper our stuff from China would be if those silly Chinese stopped paying wages to their slaves. Sounds like they need an efficiency expert - or at least a dictionary.

      You think the two Bob's would be available?

      --
      Trust me. This is an inactive account. Regardless of what the /. bean counters might report.
  2. Overloards by pseudorand · · Score: 5, Funny

    I, for one, morn the loss of our potential aquatic overlords.

  3. I just have one question! by Eros · · Score: 4, Funny

    How did they taste?

    1. Re:I just have one question! by tuxette · · Score: 4, Funny

      How did they taste? Like tuna...

      --
      People say I'm crazy, I got diamonds on the soles of my shoes...
  4. Re:I can only say... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Don't kid yourself. If a white dolphin ever got the chance he'd eat you and everyone you care about.

  5. Ironic Article Timing by adavies42 · · Score: 4, Funny

    I know they're not really equivalent, but it's still funny to see this right above "New Zealand's First Land Mammal Discovered".

    --
    Media that can be recorded and distributed can be recorded and distributed.
    -kfg
  6. Re:really... by danpsmith · · Score: 4, Funny
    Its just a way for eco-freaks to start yelling that we are killing the earth as they drive off in their new Hummer as they go for a friendly Sunday drive to observe nature.

    That's not true...We take the Lexus to the environmental rally on Sundays, Saturday is Hummer day.

    --
    Judges and senates have been bought for gold; Esteem and love were never to be sold.
  7. 20 million years seems like a pretty good run by steak · · Score: 4, Funny

    it sucks that they're gone, but times change and evolution is cruel mistress. they should have grown opposable thumbs 20000 years ago and stopped our ancestors from inventing the plow then maybe they would have stood a chance.

    --
    lose != loose
  8. '60s TV reference alert by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    They called him Fripper, Fripper ...

  9. Re:Why do we care all that much? by Dystopian+Rebel · · Score: 5, Funny
    More than 995% of all zoological diversity, in total, ever, is extinct. Why do we need to sweat it


    Because maybe one of those extinct species was good at statistics.
    --
    Rich And Stupid is not so bad as Working For Rich And Stupid.
  10. Re:Why do we care all that much? by Zaatxe · · Score: 5, Funny

    "First they came for the white dolphin, but I didn't say a word because I'm not a white dolphin..."

    --
    So say we all
  11. Charlie Tuna mourns by El_Smack · · Score: 4, Funny

    I /thought/ my tuna sandwich tasted different today.

    --


    There are 01 kinds of cars in the world. The General Lee, and everything else.
  12. Re:really... by MagicM · · Score: 4, Funny

    Saturday is Hummer day.

    I wish.

    Oh, you meant the car. Sorry.

  13. Re:I can only say... by vertinox · · Score: 4, Funny

    20 Million Years.

    Well that was plenty of enough time to evolve into something that can develop an industrial civilization and subjugate all other sentient beings.

    If they didn't want to go extinct they could have spent all that time developing their own space program and left.

    Or nuclear weapons depending if they were not in a "good mood" kind of species.

    --
    "I am the king of the Romans, and am superior to rules of grammar!"
    -Sigismund, Holy Roman Emperor (1368-1437)
  14. Well that sucks by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    It's the dolphin bits that give tuna that great taste.

  15. Damn! by danpsmith · · Score: 4, Funny

    The bubble-era vision of a Utopian ocean is dented and dirty...The white dolphin has collided with the olive tree, and its crumpled hulk spins in a ditch as the orchard smolders.

    --
    Judges and senates have been bought for gold; Esteem and love were never to be sold.
  16. Re:I can only say... by Keebler71 · · Score: 4, Funny
    But in the grand scheme of things, we're more likely to be classified as a 'parasite' on the planet since 'modern' civilizations haven't been able to live in harmony with the environment we occupy.

    Agent Smith? Is that you?

    --
    "It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance." - Thomas Sowell
  17. Top Of the Food Chain, Ma! by Greyfox · · Score: 4, Funny
    Species die out all the time. It's not that uncommon and very few of the extinctions throughout history were caused by humans. Ultimately if a species can't adapt to its conditions it does. That's how nature works. Take raccoons or coyotes... Hear them complaining about the humans invading their environment? I'd say they're doing better than ever. On the other hand we have the dodo. Now if that species had adapted to being eaten by humans by evolving to be less... edible... then it would have survived. But no... they had to remain tasty and delicious and the species paid the price!

    And keep in mind that all the other species on earth need us (or another species like us) and our clever monkey brains to figure out how to get off this rock before the sun explodes in a couple billion years. Otherwise all life that we know of will die and the whole entire exercise will have been pointless.

    --

    I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?