America's Worst Christmas Parties

Ant writes "Slate Magazine asked its readers to submit reports of horrible office Christmas parties, gifts, and bonuses. Of nearly 200 submissions, they've chosen quite a few tales for The Corporate Scrooge Contest Results ... and they're not pretty. From the article: 'A contract consultant sends word that the company to which he is currently assigned recently sent out an e-mail to some 2,000-odd consultants. The company would give away two $100 gift cards--to two of the brave souls who would commit to work 80 hours between Dec. 18 and Dec. 31. As our correspondent noted: "Hey, if you work Christmas, we'll put you in a pool of 2,000 other folks to maybe win a hundred bucks."'"

Comments

Christmas Vacation

[Pharmboy]

At least it isn't what happened to poor Clark Griswold, getting a "Jelly of the Month" certificate for a Christmas bonus.

Re:Christmas Vacation

[HockeyPuck]

To quote the great Clark Griswald, what do you say when you get the Jelly of the Month Club?

Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?

Reverse it...

[chill]

If the company I'm contracted to guarantees me an 80-hour week, I'd happily work it. The time-and-a-half would more than make up for the inconvenience. Hell, *I'd* buy *them* a $100 gift card.

  Charles

Re:Cookies

[flyingfsck]

*Two* cookies huh? So, where is mine???

Cheapskates!

[NoseBag]

After meeting or exceeding all of our yearly company goals and setting a new profit level, each of us salaried folks received a bonus envelope with 25 brand-new,consecutively-numbered one-dollar bills in it.

I still have it, 8 years later. I'm no longer with the company though.

What companies give the BEST Christmas Gift?

[jsnz]

I work for a bank and we get a hamper with Christmas cake, bottle of wine, cookies etc. Not bad considering they give this to about 10,000 employees. What is the best gift you have recieved?

I give cash

[NineNine]

I give all of my people AT LEAST $200 in no-strings-attached cash, tax-free in an envelope. And $200 is for a new, part-time employee. I would never dream of giving them a $15 gift card. That's just shitty.

No alcohol or ciggies at Le Mart de Wal

[lee n. field]

From the linked article:

offered employees a $25 Wal-Mart holiday gift card, but that the card couldn't be used to buy alcohol or cigarettes.

I'd blow it on ammunition anyway.

Hey, we always get a Christmas bonus...

[HanzoSpam]

Hell, every year, my company gives us a bonus...

....they bend us over a barrel, and then they bone us.

Re:Bah humbug.

[monoqlith]

Consider yourself lucky. I work for Myself too. My boss, Me, is a real dickhead. This year, he made all of his employees work on Christmas. Sometimes, he makes up reasons to fire people around the holidays, just for fun. Last year, he rented a hotel around Christmas so he could bang his secretary while his wife was at home preparing the holiday meal. He even made a big scene at last year's office event, drove home a little wrecked, and ended up crashing his Mercedes into a children's playground. Man, you should be grateful you don't work for Me. He's a real douchebag.