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Top Ten Apple Rumors of All Time

An anonymous reader writes "CNET have taken a look back at 30 years of Apple rumors during which we have witnessed Apple's 'rise, fall, and rise again, like a kind of technological Jesus Christ.' Some of the rumors are outrageous, and some came true. The list includes such treasures as the Apple-Nintendo merger, which the article calls 'utterly outlandish,' and the persistent rumor that Apple will release Mac OS X for PC — described as 'so counter-productive and financially damaging for Apple that we doubt the company has ever seriously considered it.' There is also mention of the iPhone, which CNET says is 'an elaborate hoax dreamed up by Steve Jobs to keep journalists busy.'"

13 of 170 comments (clear)

  1. Rise/fall/rise by sczimme · · Score: 5, Funny


    "CNET have taken a look back at 30 years of Apple rumors during which we have witnessed Apple's 'rise, fall, and rise again, like a kind of technological Jesus Christ.'

    Or, you know, like a yo-yo.

    --
    I want to drag this out as long as possible. Bring me my protractor.
    1. Re:Rise/fall/rise by Arctic+Fox · · Score: 1, Funny

      Depending on the kind of prison he ends up in after forging those stock documents, you might be regretting that statement.

      Plus you wouldn't be a virgin all that long.

      At least not until the first shower anyway.

  2. Like a kind of technological Jesus Christ by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    He didn't play a lot of games either.

  3. Mixed Metaphor by Tackhead · · Score: 5, Funny
    > CNET have taken a look back at 30 years of Apple rumors during which we have witnessed Apple's 'rise, fall, and rise again, like a kind of technological Jesus Christ.

    ...or toilet seat, yo-yo, and Windows server, for that matter.

    Which reminds me of an ancient Minbari textfile I found once.

    "We are Insanely Grey.
    We stand between the candle and the flame.
    The darkness and the light.
    The marketroid and the engineer.
    Between the Jobs and the Woz."

  4. Most disapointing Apple rumor of all time.... by amichalo · · Score: 5, Funny

    I was shocked that after I forwarded a personal email from Steve Jobs to 100 of my closest friends, I did NOT receive a free iPod as promised.

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    I only came here to do two things; kick some ass, and drink some beer...looks like we're almost out of beer.
  5. I think they left out the biggest one by DreadfulGrape · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Apple will be out of business in X years."

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    sig has been sent away for a few small repairs...
  6. What about by KricmeKroc · · Score: 1, Funny
  7. Re:Alright Dotters, let's get this out of the way. by rob1980 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Technological Jesus extracts confessions from Jack Bauer.

  8. Re:Too Literal by Bastard+of+Subhumani · · Score: 2, Funny
    The name "iPhone" is simply symbolic of a phone from Apple that can also work with the same data an iPod works with and probably have a similar interface
    I'd so totally enjoy entering phone numbers - or even better, SMS messages - with that little wheel thingy.
    --
    Only three things are certain; death, taxes, and apocryphal quotations - Ben Franklin.
  9. Re:Mac OS X for the PC by skahshah · · Score: 2, Funny
    You're right ! Correction :

    audio, video, graphics work and being serious, which you can't do in Windows.
  10. Re:And the list by Malfourmed · · Score: 2, Funny
    The return of Newton

    The Newton will return ... as the iSaac!
  11. Re:And the list by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    I'd put it right below the Wii.

  12. Re:Mac OS X for the PC by Mozk · · Score: 2, Funny

    It's true, hand-rolled computers have a more natural flavor than pre-packaged ones. But then again, if you go with the Dell brand, you don't even need a lighter; they come with self-ignition and everything! Just don't put them in your pocket...

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    No existe.