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New Universes Will be Born from Ours

Posted by Zonk on from the crisis-on-infinite-earths dept.

David Shiga writes "What gruesome fate awaits our universe? Some physicists have argued that it is doomed to be ripped apart by runaway dark energy, while others think it is bouncing through an endless series of big bangs and big crunches. Now, scientists have combined these two ideas to create another option, in which our universe ultimately shatters into billions of pieces. Each shard would then subsequently grow into a whole new universe. The model could solve the mystery of why our early universe was surprisingly well ordered."

6 of 440 comments (clear)

  1. Please... by EveryNickIsTaken · · Score: 5, Funny

    Now it sounds like these guys aren't even trying anymore. I could've sworn I saw this in an episode of Star Trek.

    1. Re:Please... by maxwell+demon · · Score: 5, Funny

      Three words, no models necessary: "God"

      What are the other two words?
      --
      The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
  2. My universe was ripped apart..... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny
    ... when my woman left me.

    Baby come back!! No more dark matter - I promise you a Big Bang this time!

  3. Bah humbug by Fist!+Of!+Death! · · Score: 5, Funny

    I propose that the universe is actually a cheap science kit awaiting purchase on the shelf of a hyper-dimensional Toys-R-Us. I could probably prove it too if I had the funding...

    --
    Nothing witty
  4. The Hobo-verse by Aqua+OS+X · · Score: 5, Funny

    Prominent bizarro physicists believe the new universe will be inverse of our own, controlled by the indigent, and known as the hobo-verse. This new hobo-verse will be controlled by a singular omnipotent box car hobo named "Klackity Klack." Also, it will smell like pee.

    --
    "Things are more moderner than before- bigger, and yet smaller- it's computers-- San Dimas High School football RULES!"
  5. Re:for the future! by locokamil · · Score: 5, Funny

    It's the new growth area in more fashionable parts of the financial industry: temporal debt relocation.

    Too much debt? Can't make interest payments? Already at BBB debt rating? No worries, [XXX] can help you! For a nominal fee of $99.99, we'll buy your debt and make it go away. How? Our patent pending quantum time tunnelling technolgy relocates your debt to an alternate universe, allowing a parallel you to foot the tab.

    What could possibly go wrong? Call today: 1-800-NO-MODET.

    [Hablas Espagnol!]