Slashdot Mirror
Sport Is Unrelated To Obesity In Children
xiox writes "The UK government is planning to stop funding a study to understand obesity in children. The study fits children with accelerometers to measure how much energy each child uses in a day by moving. The results are surprising. Those children who do sports at school do not burn more calories than those who don't. Furthermore there is no correlation between body mass index and the number of calories used! The results are very interesting, suggesting that genetics and diet are the main reasons for childhood obesity, not sport. The UK government is trying to increase the amount of sport in schools."
Startling--this is apparently the next wave of human evolution--a breed of child that can expend energy without depleting any of its energy reserves.
It is only a matter of time before this unlicensed borrowing from the aether bears grave repercussions for the laws of physics.
In the meanwhile, however, I suggest rigging up these children to some sort of power collection device. We can retard global warming by moving away from fossil fuels to infinite-energy-children fuels, and thereby ensure a safe future for our mutant underlords!
When things get complex, multiply by the complex conjugate.
It is well known that skinny people have large healthy fibre filled bowel movments. Fat people on the other hand excrete, (after considerable effort) hard, tarry, small deer pellets.
Even though the skinny children and the fat children both consume nearly identical quantities of food, the skinny children excrete it all, while the fat kids retain a little more of each meal. This unexpelled waste builds up and causes weight gain and bloat.
This is not a problem caused by lack of excercise. No, this is a problem caused by lack of laxatives. The husky child needs more laxative to make him get up and go.
Not only that but the taste of soda made with HFCS is vastly inferior to that made with sugar.
I've seen worse than that. I knew someone who didn't eat *anything* for a year and she managed to gain 40 pounds. It was terrible because she was trying to lose weight and nothing worked.
Of course, she spent hours lying in the sun and photosynthesizing. I tried to warn her about that, but would she listen? No!
Let me make sure I understand this. Your evidence that sports make you lose weight is that you weighed less when you were 17 than you did when you were 22.
I hope you aren't an engineer.
Clear, Dark Skies
Yeah, Teach them to hurt the other kids as badly as possible. Physical pain is necessary to teach kids how to compete. After all, teaching kids to compete intellectually is evil. We don't want schools telling kids that the smartest kids are the best. It's the ones that can inflict the most damage that should be set above.
Any post correcting someone's formatting, grammar or spelling will be hopelessly riddled with formatting, grammar and spelling errors.
Clear, Dark Skies
I know you were kidding, but you're on to something uncomfortable. Athletic superiority is okay to have, even to be proud of, but academic superiority is something we have to be humble about. If you have a decent vocabulary you get "You think you're so smart!" but no one ever confronts the sprinting champion with "You think you're so fast!"
"But fat children also tend to be more muscular than thin ones."
Also, they have bigger bones.
Lesbian Nazi Hookers Abducted by UFOs and Forced Into Weight Loss Programs - -all next week on Town Talk.
Oh, come off your high horse. You anti-stereotypers are all the same.
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