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Circuit City and the American Dream

An anonymous reader writes "Circuit City said yesterday that it had fired 3,400 of its highest-paid sales staff — 8% of its employees — and will replace them with lower-paid workers. Sign On San Diego called this 'a risky strategy to cut costs that goes beyond the layoffs, buyouts and hiring freezes commonly used by struggling companies.' The fired workers have a chance to apply for lower-paying positions after a 10-week wait, the company said. Quoting a Circuit City spokesman: 'This is no reflection on job performance... We deeply regret the negative impact. Retail is extremely competitive, and if we're going to thrive and operate a successful company... we just have to control costs.' So: work hard, become the best in your field, and get fired so they can offer you a new job 10 weeks later at a lower salary."

15 of 835 comments (clear)

  1. So take your business to Best Buy by wiredog · · Score: 3, Funny

    Boycott Circuit City!

    1. Re:So take your business to Best Buy by Rosco+P.+Coltrane · · Score: 4, Funny

      Surely you mean Short-Circuit City...

      --
      "A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
  2. Parody by HomelessInLaJolla · · Score: 5, Funny

    Circuit City and the American Dream

    Business savvy decision allows new employees a chance at sales fame.

    Top business analysts have determined that a growing number of people have become "too wealthy for their own good", according to one high-ranking Wall Street spokesperson. "It is in the interest of the common good that we allow other, less priveleged folks, to have the opportunity to buy their own food and afford both rent and car payments."

    The dismissed workers, having reached their allowed quota of wealth, were given peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on their way out the door and told that they could reapply after their savings had been reduced to zero. While the average lifespan of a salesman's savings is about ten weeks, according to financial analysts, it was widely agreed that dismissed employees would not truly be eligible for reassignment until they had accumulated enough debt to prevent them from ever owning a house or car again.

    "These people were beginning to factor into systems that have long been the exclusive playgrounds of the rich and powerful. We simply could not allow them to tip the scales and upset the balance," said Circuit City spokesman Bill Cimino.

    --
    the NPG electrode was replaced with carbon blac
  3. Re:You have *got* to be kidding me. by Rosco+P.+Coltrane · · Score: 4, Funny

    And hey, if your lack the skills or the ambition to go out and work to better your situation, you can always reapply -- I'm sure that red shirt will fit just as well in ten weeks as it does now

    After 10 weeks bored out of your mind on the couch, watching tv with a beer in your hand and listening to your wife pestering you to find another job? not sure the red shirt will fit anymore...

    --
    "A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
  4. It's happening everwhere! by bnavarro · · Score: 2, Funny

    I think The ONN (Onion News Network) summs up the sad situation in our country quite nicely with this little "expose": CEO fired, replaced by illegal immigrant

  5. fuck'n Goobacks! by maynard · · Score: 2, Funny

    "They took my jaorb!!!"

  6. Have we learned NOTHING from Star Trek? by onkelonkel · · Score: 5, Funny

    You DO NOT want to be wearing the red shirt. Especially if you are on the away team.

    --
    None of them can see the clouds; The polished wings don't care.
  7. Ah yes. by pclminion · · Score: 2, Funny

    Ah yes, the American Dream: to languish in pitiable work conditions hoping some rare enlightened higher-up will have mercy on you and, if not actually pay you more, at least fail to sack you.

    Wait. That's not the American Dream I know about. Oh yeah -- it's more about self-determination and a drive to succeed by the power of one's own capabilities. But hey, I can see how a person could get the two ideas confused...

  8. Re:You have *got* to be kidding me. by voice_of_all_reason · · Score: 5, Funny

    After ten weeks of watching cartoons and eating cocoa puffs, I might not want to go back.

  9. Get in line now, avoid the rush by Grashnak · · Score: 5, Funny

    The fired workers have a chance to apply for lower-paying positions after a 10-week wait, the company said. Wow, I'll bet there will be a lot of people taking them up on that generous offer... Oh wait, no there won't.

    Circuit City: You make too much money. You're fired.
    Dumbass Employee: What? Noooooooo! My PS3 comes in next week and I need the employee discount! I'll work for less!
    CC: Not good enough. First you must go without a paycheck for 10 weeks to prove you are worthy.
    DE: Aaaggghhhh! Okay, then what? I'll do anything.
    CC: Then you must crawl back here, and I do mean crawl, and beg for your job back at half your previous salary!
    DE: *sobbing* I'll do it!
    CC: Oh, and bring me a shrubbery.
    --
    Life needs more saving throws.
  10. Re:First boycott Best Buy, now Circuit City? by djSpinMonkey · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...shouldn't you have the OTHER people follow his lead, rather than fire him?

    Assuming that "you" are the guy in charge of a credit card telemarketing company? No, that isn't what you should do. You should, in fact, find the nearest wood chipper and jump in.

  11. Re:You have *got* to be kidding me. by UbuntuDupe · · Score: 5, Funny

    I wasn't trying to be funny :-/

  12. Re:Democracy? by cyber-vandal · · Score: 3, Funny

    But luckily in Libertarianworld you can just start a business and live happily ever after.

  13. Reminds me of a similar situation... by GuyMannDude · · Score: 5, Funny

    The fired workers have a chance to apply for lower-paying positions after a 10-week wait, the company said.

    However, that circuit city feels that they can exercise their lack of loyalty so egregiously is disgusting.

    Recently, my girlfriend dumped me but said I was encouraged to reapply for the position of "friend" instead. I told her that if she upgraded the offer to "friends with benefits" that we could consider that a severance package for my being so loyal to her. She told me rather sternly to take or leave her original offer.

    Bitch.

    GMD

  14. Re: The lowest of the low by Headw1nd · · Score: 2, Funny

    If just a few thousand of Circuit City's employees decided to strike for a week or two, they would lose so much profit from lost business that it wouldn't be economical to fire them.
    Hell yeah! Think if 3,400 of their best salespeople just walked out the door, then they'd have to...

    Oh wait. Nevermind.