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Should Chimps Have Human Rights?
An anonymous reader writes "A Brazilian court has already issued a writ of habeas corpus in the name of a chimp. And now an Austrian court may well decide that a chimpanzee is a 'person' with what up until now have been called human rights." From the story in the Guardian/Observer: "He recognizes himself in the mirror, plays hide-and-seek and breaks into fits of giggles when tickled. He is also our closest evolutionary cousin. A group of world leading primatologists argue that this is proof enough that Hiasl, a 26-year-old chimpanzee, deserves to be treated like a human. In a test case in Austria, campaigners are seeking to ditch the 'species barrier' and have taken Hiasl's case to court. If Hiasl is granted human status — and the rights that go with it — it will signal a victory for other primate species and unleash a wave of similar cases."
hoo! hurr! grr! huuuh! hoooh! hoo!
If they get Human Rights, can I get Animal Rights, like flinging my poo at my boss when he annoys me?
Your hair look like poop, Bob! - Wanker.
To all who believe in spanking your monkey, be forewarned.
Nothing beats giving a cow a jolly good orking, I say.
As for the original idea of giving chimps human rights... first of all, it's probably a leftover April fools story. Even so, imho, you can't give primates human rights in the same way you can't give primates bowler hats and umbrellas, they just don't fit. Sure, develop primate rights and model them on human rights but blurring this species barrier to this extent is, imho, just plain daft. What next? Equal ops and positive discrimination?
He failed to recognize himself from his own mistakes, plays monkey-dance in front of human of 120 average-IQ and breaks into chair-throwing fury whenever the word 'Linux' is being mentioned. He is also our closest evolutionary cousin that we choose to deny having relationship with. A group of world smartest nerds argue that this is proof enough that Ballmer, a 51-year-old human, deserves to be treated like a chimp.
I haven't RTFA but isn't this getting into Planet of the Apes/I Robot territory? Next you will be saying that the clone of myself that I'm growing in a test tube for spare parts should have some sort of rights.
I have excellent Karma and I am not afraid to Troll it.
I believe that would make you 14 years too young to be eligible to become president of the United States of America.
Navicula hydraulica plena anguilarum est. Omnes castelli tuus nostri sunt. Ed elli avea del cul fatto trombetta.
The guys at PETA are probably having a RAGING party right now, complete with chimpanzee outfits. Human rights for cows too! And seals! Baby seals!
Human rights for chimps, eh. How about human responsibilities? It would be rather naive to elevate chimps to our level then look the other way when, say, they tear apart smaller monkeys for food as they routinely do. We should be humane to animals, yes, and there is an overlap between that "humaneness" and the rights we ascribe to humans, but that does not mean they are the same thing. Not many chimpanzees get tortured compared to human beings, or subjected to mass rape, or blown up in markets, or have the living daylights bombed out of them while they sleep in their habitats. It's looks like some people have their priorities slightly screwed up.
Besides, we still haven't answered the question of whether PETA people should have human rights. The consensus is on the negative from what I'm told.
They already do in some countries. They elected one of their own in the US, for instance.
Daniel
Carpe Diem
Log scale. you move up two orders of magnitude of humanity from 90 to 97%
Which implies that a banana only has 1/112th of a soul.
We probably should, They're the ones running the experiment anyway.
Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
I agree that killing your child should be legal up until it's two years old. I mean, sometimes you don't know if you really want a child before the third trimester rolls around. It's not civilized to put a mother under that kind of stress. Give her some time to think about it. Then, if she doesn't want he baby after a year or two, she can just drop it off in a dumpster or something.
The only reason even pro-abortionists are against late term and post-natal abortions is because that's when the child starts looking cute. It's just like those damn baby seals everyone keeps crying about.
function imHumanAndIHaveRights() {
println("May I have some human rights also, please?");
}
According to Newt Gingrich: You don't ask in English, no rights for you!
Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it. --Mark Twain
Nonsence/Nonsense
I can't stand it when people can't spell properly.
Yes, the 'net is an irritating place for me.
Daniel
Carpe Diem
The missing Link is called Anunnaki!
They created us in their image by mixing their seed with the chimps.
Find out more in Zecharia Sitchin!!!
Zecharia Sitchin's key ideas are based on the assumption that ancient myths are not myths but historical and scientific texts. According to Sitchin, ancient Sumerian clay tablets reveal that gods from another planet (Nibiru, which orbits our Sun every 3,600 years) arrived on Earth some 450,000 years ago and created humans by genetic engineering of female apes.
They don't call them vegetables for nothing.
That was in poor taste!
SWM seeks new sig for a brief fling
SWM seeks new sig for a brief fling
I got it. I suggest that if the banana looks like it is suffering then yes show it some compassion.
Can I bum a sig?
Same goes for hippie infestations.
GCHQ Quantum Insert installed. If only our tongues were made of glass, how much more careful we would be when we speak
Our bosses say that about us humans.
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make install -not war