Gallery of the Lamest Technology Mascots Ever

Wired has a gallery of their Lamest Technology Mascots which features some trollish links including Tux and a certain adorable devil. Also featured is the old Java mascot Duke which I always liked, and of course Clippy who these days pretty much exists only in cheesy Top X lists.

Comments

Tux rocks

[jshriverWVU]

No seriously Tux rocks :) *tossing some herring*

Re:Tux rocks

[DrXym]

The original Tux sucks because it looks fat, bored, lazy and apathetic and / or immensely stupid. It isn't even very eye catching. It really is not a good mascot. There are better drawings of Tux such as the Tux crystal version. The original should be dumped for one which is more attractive, mischievous and interesting.

Recursive

[tttonyyy]

I would love to add this gallery to my "Gallery of Lamest Galleries Ever", but it stack overflowed when someone submitted it to itself.

Steve "The Dancing Bear" Ballmer

[Neferkara]

Why isn't he on the list?

Re:Steve "The Dancing Bear" Ballmer

[Opportunist]

He's no mascot, he's just the poster child.

Also, the butterfly MS used to have as their mascot for MSN isn't lame. It was one of the few honest moves from MS to use a bug as the icon for one of their services.

Here's one

[cordsie]

I always thought this guy was one of the scarier technology mascots out there.

Wait, you mean that's not a guy in a rubber suit?

Futaba channel

[Turn-X Alphonse]

Finally a use for my knowledge of useless Japanese image boards!

Number 10 is the OS-Tans which spawned from 2ch (and Futaba, the image board connected to the forms known as 2channel, or 2ch for short). Each edition of windows has a linked character (I haven't seen Vista though) which links to the OS's "quirks". For example XP is a very smart girl who takes care of the rest (a well rounded OS basicly) where as ME is a complete idiot known for weilding leaks and doing the dumbest things she can. The OS-tans became so popular (even to the point of a magazine in Japan stealing their designs and using them without the original authors permission and hence being boycotted by many 2ch users) that other software started to get their own characters.

These range from Norton (who is a perverted old doctor) to the Mac girl (who likes to blow things up). As time goes by these girls all seem to remain popular and have become a solid part of the Japanese image board culture. It's very rarely to check the Futaba art boards (Oekaki and self made) without seeing at least once OS-tan pop up some where.

The author doesn't seem to have much of a clue about the girls and their characters, it's just shooting in the dark at "mascots" when the original author has suggested no such thing. Infact the original character designs are pretty much as open source as you can be with character designs, you can do what you like with them as long as you don't make a profit and don't try to claim you made them/not give credit to the mass community).

People looking for the OS-tans can try Futaba at http://www.2chan.net/ , you are most likely to see them on the random boards, the main 2 of which are on the third row 2 down ( and :P ). Be warned it is NOT work safe and you can see ANYTHING (from dead babies to hentai and a mix of both together). Unless you have a .jp IP or are using a proxy you may not post on the site, this is because when people have been given access people have abused it (4chan /b/ users spam the board with racism and such if they find a proxy), so you can just view not take part to those outside Japan.

Where are they now: the Pets.com sock puppet

[coolGuyZak]

*sniff*... I loved the Pets.com mascot. How could you not like this face??

Unfortunately, what Wikipedia doesn't cover is why pets.com ultimately failed. The sock puppet, like many celebrities, turned to hard narcotics after he lost his high of the .com era. This, combined with a heavy spat with Triumph the Wonder Dog, pulled the plug on his career. The puppet got so down and out that he almost sold his Timex collar, just for one last hit (either of the narcotics, or on Triumph's head). Luckily, he discovered the Hakan and Associates rehab center, whom made a vain attempt to rescue his career. Not much detail is provided about his 12-step sponsor, 1-800-BAR-NONE or their brief collaboration on car commercials. The Pets.com mascot dropped off of the public radar soon after those commercials.

I heard from a friend that he's studying Buddhism under the Dalai Lama in Tibet in Exile. Apparently, His Holiness Tenzin Gyatso is training the Pets.com puppet to become a Lama who will wander the hills of Tibet looking for the yang srid. It is suggested that, due to resemblance of the Pets.com mascot to a childs toy, the 15th Lama may recognize the roaming monk as a good friend. Time will tell on that one though.