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Analysts Call IBM Layoff Estimates "Hogwash"

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on from the only-time-will-tell dept.

jbrodkin writes "Rumors have been floating around saying IBM will cut 150,000 U.S. jobs, but a Network World story attempts to set the record straight by quoting analysts who say this news, if true, would wipe out the company's entire U.S. operations and would make no sense since IBM is actually doing pretty well."

4 of 131 comments (clear)

  1. what life would be like in an ATHEIST WORLD: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Ever wonder what life would be like in a world where atheism was the dominant religion? Wonder no more! Thanks to newly discovered Prayer Technologies we can glimpse into what life would be like in a godless world.
    Let's take a look:

    ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go fuck a hooker.
    ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.
    ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."
    ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!

    The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.

    ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
    ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."
    ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
    ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
    ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
    ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men fucking eachother in there.
    ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
    ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.
    ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!

    Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.

    ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!
    ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!

    The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.

    RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!

    THE END

    Scary, isn't it! Thank god we live in a christian nation, run by god-fearing republicans. Praise be to Jesus!

    1. Re:what life would be like in an ATHEIST WORLD: by Master+of+Transhuman · · Score: 0, Offtopic


      When can we expect this Utopia to occur? Right after the Rupture - when all the Christians go to hell because Jesus believes that "they all think like bugs down there"?

      --
      Richard Steven Hack - This sig is TOO GODDAMN SHORT TO DO ANYTHING USEFUL WITH! MORONS!
  2. hilarious by allanw · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    Haha, funniest thing I've read today.

  3. Re:IBM NEVER talks about layoffs. by trentblase · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    Fact: Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.