Slashdot Mirror
Why Doesn't Microsoft Have A Cult Religion?
rs232 writes "'Apple has one. So does the Java community, Oracle, IBM, and Google. Lord knows anyone who uses Linux or free and open source software is dedicated to spreading the gospel of St. Linus Torvalds and St. Richard Stallman. But does anyone really worship the Gods of Redmond?' While many Microsoft employees are pumped to work there, article author Michael Singer explores why even enthusiastic Microsoft-watchers acknowledge that customers and product developers are unenthusiastic about the software giant. He theorizes that it comes down to passion: Microsoft lost that a long time ago, he says, and so passionate people gravitate to other projects and products."
but it is a Hate Cult.
Excuse me, but please get off my Pennisetum Clandestinum, eh!
I know plenty of really passionate Microsoft fanbois. In fact they are the only people I know who have copies of Vista Ultimate.
When He extended a Noodly Appendage to Bless Microsoft with his Divine Wisdom an unbeliever cut it off and shaped it into the form of Clippy, the Anti Christ.
One day He will Overcome the Satanic Forces at work by dripping his Holy Meatball Sauce onto Clippy, softening what was once hard and Unyileding. And Lo, Microsoft shall become as like IBM and One True Followers of the Way.
Thus it is written.
Beep beep.
Microsoft is like America. They are forever telling everybody else what to do, their latest escapade was a complete disaster and they are very likely to implode up their own arse. And everyone hates them for it.
Man! Was that trolling or what?!
Once absorbed into the corpus of Microsoft, the need for religion is extinguished. The only goal is to assimilate.
"To those who are overly cautious, everything is impossible. "
That's the best you could find? Then consider what MSN's store is selling. NOW you know why nobody talks about it... ...if they know what's good for them.... Bwahahahahahahaha!
It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
Exactly. Apple has a cult. Linux has a cult. Microsoft is the equivalent of Catholocism. ;)
Oh, and kudos on thinking up "winDOS" and "M$" -- BRILLIANT!! Man, that really shows those bastards whos boss!
I know plenty of really passionate Microsoft fanbois. In fact they are the only people I know who have copies of Vista Ultimate.
I know lots of less passionate Microsoft fanboys. They are like drunk people who don't know they are drunk. The very idea of anything but M$ on their networks is unpossible to them. They don't know how anyone can get along without M$ and treat them suspiciously like a witch or nija. Because M$ is closed source, you have to take it on faith, but they confuse M$ with science. Their OS and software choice is a constant source of irritation and dissaster for them but they refuse to seek alternatives. They consider themselves perfectly rational and normal. These are more dangerous than those who realize their own passions and irrationality.
Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.
Because us Amiga zealots took 'em out behind the barn and "Old-Yellowed" them 20 years ago with pre-emptive multitasking, amazing graphics, and low-overhead. Poor bastards were gone before they could even get a good start. Though rumor has it that their zombified bodies helped flesh out Microsoft's initial Marketing department.
If brevity is the soul of wit, then how does one explain Twitter?
Nooooobody expects the MCSEs! Our chief weapon is uncertainty. Uncertainty and fear. Fear and uncertainty. Our two weapons are fear and uncertainty... and doubt. Our three weapons are fear, uncertainty, and doubt... and an almost fanatical devotion to Steve Ballmer. Our four, no, amongst our weapons, amongst our weaponry are such elements as fear, uncertainty... I'll come in again.
...but everyone expects that joke.
Father Ted: It's not as if everyone's going to go off and join some mad religious cult just because we go off for a picnic for a couple of hours!
Father Dougal: God, Ted, I heard about those cults. Everyone dressing in black and saying our Lord's gonna come back and judge us all!
Father Ted: No... no, Dougal, that's us. That's Catholicism.
Sorry. Someone had already done the relevant Python quote. I'll get me coat.
Yes.
Help stamp out iliturcy.
How does one perform self-flagellation on another?
It's complicated, kinky, and illegal in 12 states.
Cardinal Balmer! Throw - THE COMFY CHAIR!
Lars T.
To the guy who modded me down from perfect to terrible Karma - Apple haters still suck