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What's the Worst Technical Feature You've Used?

Posted by Cliff on from the if-they-were-fruit-they'd-be-lemons dept.

kooky45 asks: "In an effort to make our lives easier and more entertaining, technology designers pack more and more features into electronic devices, but often they're more nuisance than they're worth. An earlier article on LEDs discussed some of these. Another example is my Nokia 6320i mobile phone which has a back lit screen that drains the battery life at an alarming rate. When the phone is not in use the back light is off; if the battery starts to run low, it gives me regular warnings by beeping and turning the back light on! What other examples of designer stupidity have you seen?"

26 of 1,008 comments (clear)

  1. It will come up sooner or later... by Daniel_Staal · · Score: 5, Funny

    Clippy.

    --
    'Sensible' is a curse word.
    1. Re:It will come up sooner or later... by Corpuscavernosa · · Score: 4, Funny

      You actually used Clippy? Man, what a friggin' dork! ;)

      --
      We figured out a long time ago that it's easier to elect seven judges than to elect 132 legislators.
    2. Re:It will come up sooner or later... by Jhon · · Score: 3, Funny
      Clippy was bad... this predates it:

      It may not be a "feature" I've intentionally used and it may not be the WORST, but it always gave me a chuckle WayBackWhen (tm) I'd turn on my PC without a keyboard plugged in:


      Error: No keyboard present

      Press F1 to continue, DEL to enter SETUP


      Wonderful advice...
    3. Re:It will come up sooner or later... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      My high school had a batch of computers that would regularly boot to some variant of "Error: No keyboard present. Press F1 to continue." In fact, it was so regular that all the students knew to just hit F1 on the darn-tooting-it-was-present keyboard. And it worked.

    4. Re:It will come up sooner or later... by edwdig · · Score: 5, Funny

      I once found the text strings stored in the BIOS of my 286. Not far from the standard "Keyboard error, press F1 to continue." message was "CPU not found. System halted."

      I always wondered how they intended to display that message.

  2. Honda Stereo Security by stoolpigeon · · Score: 4, Funny

    My honda, and I think many others - have a security feature for the entertainment system. If the power is ever out to the unit, the owner must punch in a 4 digit code to turn it back on, after power is restored. If you forget the code, and don't have it written down somewhere - you can get it. You just need to remove the unit from the dash and call a dealer with a number written on the outside of it. This is not an easy process - and dealers will do it for you but it costs around $200 last time I checked. In other words - the only person who can easily get at the information necessary to the code is someone who already has the stereo out- like say a thief.

    --
    It's hard to believe that's how Micronians are made. Why don't we see it right now by having you both kiss one another?
    1. Re:Honda Stereo Security by Some_Llama · · Score: 4, Funny

      Clippy? (i.e. paperclip?)

    2. Re:Honda Stereo Security by veganboyjosh · · Score: 4, Funny

      So, if I'm going to steal the stereo from a Honda, take the extra couple of seconds and grab the VIN while I'm there.

      Or the car it's attached to.

  3. The desktop by D+iz+a+n+k+Meister · · Score: 3, Funny

    There's a computer on my desk. Doesn't that make a metaphorical stack-overflow?

    --

    He painted a unicorn in outer space. I'm askin' ya, what's it breathin'?
    1. Re:The desktop by hey! · · Score: 5, Funny

      Well, the worst thing about most PCs is the way the cup holder automatically retracts during a reboot.

      --
      Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
  4. LED by Fallingcow · · Score: 3, Funny

    I don't know about the LED thing.

    I sometimes plug in my USB flash drive, which has a very bright blue LED on the end, just for the light.

  5. PC Load Letter by labalicious · · Score: 5, Funny

    PC Load Letter? What the fuck does that mean?

    1. Re:PC Load Letter by Nimey · · Score: 5, Funny

      Paper Cartridge Load Letter. You need to reload your Laserjet with letter-size paper, as opposed to PC LOAD A4, which would need A4 paper.

      You must have a /fancy/ printer, since it can display lower-case on its status display. Mine just says PC LOAD LETTER or 00 POWERSAVE.

      There, destroyed the joke for you.

      --
      Hail Eris, full of mischief...

      E pluribus sanguinem
  6. Similar - beeping by oyenstikker · · Score: 3, Funny

    My Motorola v260 beeps loudly ever few minutes when the battery is low. I know when it starts beeping I have another 12 hours. There is no way to shut off the beeping.

    --
    The masses are the crack whores of religion.
  7. The Right Mouse Button by thesupermikey · · Score: 4, Funny

    Fuck Context Menus
    thats right, i said: "fuck context menus" /mac user

    --
    Mikey
    I've always been the kinda guy to fall for the girl dressed like an eskimo.
  8. Photo by Viking+Coder · · Score: 4, Funny

    My cell phone has a Camera button on the outside edge. Every now and then, I hear the fake shutter sound that lets me know my cell phone just took a picture of the inside of my pocket.

    I'm surprised no one else has mention the worst feature ever: DRM.

    --
    Education is the silver bullet.
    1. Re:Photo by cerberusss · · Score: 3, Funny

      Every now and then, I hear the fake shutter sound that lets me know my cell phone just took a picture of the inside of my pocket.
      So, you're in the cinema with the date of your dreams. You move towards her for a nice wet french kiss and suddenly *flash* the phone cam its flash light illuminates the insides of your jeans, showing a big boner covered with that old Winnie-the-Pooh underpants that you should've thrown away.
      --
      8 of 13 people found this answer helpful. Did you?
  9. In Windows Vista by phalse+phace · · Score: 4, Funny

    Cancel or Allow? feature.

  10. Re:Microwave by daeg · · Score: 5, Funny

    A vending machine in my building does something similar. There are no "out of product" lights, there's only a single line display. If you select something that's out, it scrolls "NO PRODUCT TO DISPENSE - PLEASE TRY ANOTHER PRODUCT OR CALL 1-800-XXX-XXXX FOR REFILLS - NO PRODUCT TO DISPENSE" one letter at a time. During which time you cannot select another product, get your change back, or do anything at all. Pressing any buttons helpfully resets it to scroll from the start.

    Oy!

  11. 1-800-XXX-XXXX by LunaticTippy · · Score: 4, Funny

    I just called that number to complain about the vending machine being out of taco pellets. They were very helpful and understanding. They also have a website

    --
    Man, you really need that seminar!
  12. Re:Microwave by YourMotherCalled · · Score: 5, Funny

    But, who the hell thought it was important for a microwave to store the date?

    Didn't you read the manual? Chickens cook differently in odd years than they do in even years.
  13. Re:Microwave by mph · · Score: 5, Funny

    The hassle of resetting the date every time is widely compensated by that warm feeling you get when you notice that your microwave has adjusted the time on it's own...
    Actually, that warm feeling is the door seals leaking.
  14. Re:Voicemail by Paradise+Pete · · Score: 5, Funny

    I had a friend who was remarkably good at mimicking the voice on my machine. She called and left a message that repeated the menu commands, and I was sitting there trying to figure out what was wrong with the damn thing.

  15. Open button on a DVD player remote by hoppo · · Score: 5, Funny

    It is absolutely pointless to be able to eject a DVD from across the room. You still have to get up and walk over to the device. Unless you are strong with the Force. Then you wouldn't need the remote for anything.

  16. "Safety Feature" by element-o.p. · · Score: 3, Funny

    My boss has a Mercedes SUV that will not start the engine if the engine computer detects that any of the three brake light bulbs have burned out. Now, there's a good idea -- when you burn out a brake light, you can't even drive to the store to buy a replacement.

    --
    MCSE? No, sir...I don't do Windows. Yes, I am an idealist. What's your point?
  17. Fuse by dino213b · · Score: 3, Funny

    Fuse: a $3 part protecting a $0.01 piece of electronics.