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Fan Fiction Writers Balk at FanLib.com
bill jackson writes "A couple of former Yahoo execs are trying to create the next MySpace by aggregating fanfiction on a website called FanLib. But the fanfic writers recognized that exploitation was written all over the idea and they've refused to participate. 'Instead of creating the Myspace of fanfic since the launch two weeks ago, FanLib.com sparked a white-hot Internet firestorm.The meltdown is a hard lesson in how not to conduct business on the Internet.But it's a firestorm of FanLib's own making because, in spite of the Yahoo pedigree (or maybe because of it), they plowed in like china shop bulls.'"
The fanfic crowd is riled up. Everyone take cover!
Let the bad fanfiction about the bad fanfiction site begin.
It never ends.
If the Internet doesn't exist to host Harry Potter slash fanfic, then what the hell is it for?
ScuttleMonkey was manning the Slashdot queue. "Fan Fiction Writers Balk at FanLib.com" suddenly appeared amid a sea of more interesting stories, but ScuttleMonkey knew this was his next frontpager. He always knew, even before he was an editor. Minutes before the story was set to go live, CmdrTaco saw it and ran, if you can call it that, down the hallway. "STOP!" he screamed. "This is a terrible story! You must remove it." ScuttleMonkey pulled out a knife, stabbing Taco in the heart before he had a chance to react. "Remove that, Taco!" cried ScuttleMonkey as he watched the story go live.
It was dark in the Holland, Michigan office nestled deep within Slashdot's Geek Compound. Shifting and moaning, ESR laid sprawled over his filthy desk. Dried spittle stuck several Post-It notes to his cheek. His PC, running Linux, silently printed swap error after swap error to the screen, lighting ESR's sickly form. As he burped several times he attempted to recall the night before that had led to this stupor. Holding his head in his hands, he was interrupted by lights and doors slamming. Someone was in the office!
As Rob CmdrTaco Malda walked past ESR, he noticed the several empty bottles of Jägermeister and what appeared to be fecal stains on the floor and walls surrounding the recovering ESR -- nothing new. He also noticed the some semen bubbling in the cracks of ESR's chafed lips.
Another all-night office orgy, Eric? Rob asked coyly.
Tilting his head gingerly toward Rob and raising his eyebrows slowly, ESR spoke softly. Oh shit. Is that what happened last night? I believe I blacked out at some point, I can't remember anything. Who was here last night?
Well, CowboyNeil got there a little late last night, but he said that by the time he got there that Alan, Emad, Jamie, Michael, and Signal 11 were already pretty drunk, Rob said just a little too loudly for ESR's tender head.
Closing and opening his eyes gently, ESR muttered to himself about having not invited Signal 11. He also started sniffing the air and licking his lips. I can smell dried feces on a dick a mile away. Just where were you last night, Robbie? You get a piece of ass last night and decide to ditch my party?
What's it to you? Your breath smells like semen and you don't hear me asking whose it is, Malda shot back.
ESR smiled and swiveled with a gleam in his eyes. Ah, but you see, this is my own sperm!
And it must taste specfuckingtacular! Rob shot back.
Eric interjected before Rob could go on. Ah yes. You see, I like to add a shot of Jäger to it to give it a little kick.
No, Rob replied with anger rising in his voice, You fucking raging alcoholic. Your semen tastes like old motor oil. I think you may have ruptured both of your testicles and now your colon is shooting diarrhea out of your cock-hole.
What!? You little fudge-packing piece of shit! ESR threatened, Ditch one of my office parties because Hemos calls up and says he's lonely, will you? I bet that's what happened. Well, guess who I'll be recommending we lay off at the next LNUX board meeting? How do you like that, Taco?
Whatever, Eric. You don't scare anyone except your parents, Rob said as he stormed out of ESR's office, his green plaid flannel whipping in the wake behind him. You would be nothing without Slashdot.
ESR stammered and shook. Ever since the LNUX stock had plummeted, things were so tense around the office. Relations were falling apart between he and the Slashdot admins. Last night, Michael and Jamie had pounded each other exclusively, ignoring ESR's crooked, erect penis, and Eric had to convince Emad and Alan to restrain CowboyNeil before he could engage in homosexual intercourse with him.
With a flick of his wrist, ESR popped a dozen extra-strength Bayers down his stinking gullet and washed them down with some Jäger from the bottle he had woken up holding. Depressed, aching, and on the verge of vomiting up the entirety of last night's semen binge, ESR cried silently and went back to sleep at this desk, ignoring the pile of work that sullied the landscape of his desktop.
Clapping twice to darken his office, ESR curled into fetal position as best he could and rested, preparing to do it all over again later that night.
Quite frankly, I won't form an opinion until we've heard an official response from the most influential contingent in fan-fiction:
Furries.
Without their unique insight into subjects like "Kirk romances a full sized Gadget from Chip n' Dale's Rescue Rangers" or "What would happen if the crew of the NX-01 were anthropomorphic animals and there's maybe a crossover with the X-Men why not?", we would have no way of knowing what we did and didn't like about the various trek series, and, by extension, an online repository of stories.
So count me out until the "Commander Troi as a sexy lemur" crowd weighs in, THEN I'll know what to think.
Man, I gotta cut down on the caffeine and get more sleep. I was really confused about why the fanfic folks were having their LinuxJournal forum accounts terminated.
If the Internet doesn't exist to host Harry Potter slash fanfic, then what the hell is it for?
Why, Furries, of course. That plus Naruto.
-- Tigger warning: This post may contain tiggers! --
This marks the first legitimate shot for a Kirk/Spock TV pilot.
Star Trek
The Search for Spock's Nipple
If Nalgene water bottles are outlawed, only outlaws will have Nalgene water bottles.
It was a cold and windy night, the air was still and damp. A strange aroma arose from the streets below and he became nauseous, his hand slipping from the balcony rail. He made his way back inside his room, dizzy now he stood swaying for a moment. It was then that the fear came and he knew at once what he had to do. He ran into the bathroom and tore open the cabinet, grabbing the sleeping pills from the shelf he expertly flipped the top and downed the entire bottle. He Fell to the floor, clutching the bottle to his chest, convulsing, gurgling and foaming at the mouth. "A good thing I brought these sleeping pills" he thought and then the truth dawned, he hadn't brought any sleeping pills. "Oh shit", he thought.
Man NC17 that must have been one old Star Cruzier I mean hell they were already up to NC1701 in the seriess. Thats like 1684 ships prior to Enterprise.
Repeal the 17th Amendment TODAY! Also Please Read http://www.gnu.org/philosophy/right-to-read.html
TROOOOLLLL! Trooooollll in the dungeons!!!!!!!!!
And I revoke the geek license of anyone who doesn't get that joke.
You can be honest with us. Fan-fiction stole your girlfriend and ran over your dog, didn't it?
Because slashdot isn't well known for "breaking" news. It's an aggregator of news that has already been published and sourced.
Though slashdot is well known for breaking sites that happen to have breaking news.