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Pimping Out a New House

Posted by kdawson on from the geeks-gone-wild dept.

Jason Michael Perry writes "I just got pre-approved to buy some gutted property in New Orleans. A lot of the houses I'm looking at are blank canvases that need new wiring, new walls, new everything. I've always dreamed of a high-tech house that says my name when I walk in the door and now is my chance to get a close as I can with current technology. So I'm looking for ideas to pimp out a newly renovated house with all the best technology. If you had a blank canvas to start with, what would you do? Run CAT-5 or fiber optics? Build a closet for servers and A/V equipment? Build a 7.1 speaker system into the living room walls and ceilings? Install automated lights and intercom (with support for Apple equipment)? How about appliances, the kitchen, and other spots... what cool tech can I use there? My only rules and requirements are support for the four Macs I have in the house, and reasonable support for technology on the fringes."

14 of 613 comments (clear)

  1. Step one by ciroknight · · Score: 5, Funny

    Build flood wall/stilts for the house (or more realistically, Flood Insurance).

    --
    "Victory means exit strategy, and it's important for the President to explain to us what the exit strategy is." G.W.Bush
    1. Re:Step one by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Add pontoons.

    2. Re: Step one by Black+Parrot · · Score: 3, Funny

      Build flood wall/stilts for the house (or more realistically, Flood Insurance). I wonder if he meant to write "pumping out" instead of "pimping out".
      --
      Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
    3. Re:Step one by Smight · · Score: 3, Funny

      And a gun turret with a heavy machine gun to fight off pirates/waterlogged looters.

      --
      IOU one (1) signature
  2. I suggest... by Chineseyes · · Score: 5, Funny

    Demolish the property and stick a nice sized Yacht on top of supports right where the house used to be.

    --
    I think the invisible hand of the market has its middle finger extended

    --A wise old fart named SC0RN
    1. Re:I suggest... by Farmer+Tim · · Score: 3, Funny

      But the stilts could be computer controlled

      In Soviet New Orleans, unhappy home runs away from YOU!

      --
      Blank until /. makes another boneheaded UI decision.
  3. Two words by killmenow · · Score: 3, Funny

    Panic room.

  4. Hmmmm. by m0nkyman · · Score: 4, Funny

    Don't forget that the basement will need a pool with sharks. With freaking laser beams on their heads...

    Oh, sorry. You're pimpng your house, not building an evil lair. Never mind. Big hat with a feather should do.

    --
    ~ a low user id is no indication I have a clue what I'm talking about.
  5. Re:One word... by Nefrayu · · Score: 4, Funny

    Don't you mean "Jeffries Tubes?"

    --
    Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
  6. To state the obvious, by Black+Parrot · · Score: 3, Funny

    I'm looking for ideas to pimp out a newly renovated house with all the best technology. Start with a red bulb for the porch light.
    --
    Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
  7. Hull shape... by flyingfsck · · Score: 3, Funny

    I think that first of all you need to decide whether the house going to be mono hull or double hull. A double hull is more stable in large swells and you can make a nice open living room on the bridge.

    --
    Excuse me, but please get off my Pennisetum Clandestinum, eh!
  8. Take it a step further by markov_chain · · Score: 5, Funny

    (double)(float) house;

    --
    Tsunami -- You can't bring a good wave down!
  9. Pimp?! by BrokenHalo · · Score: 4, Funny

    Step one would be to look up a dictionary and find out what the word "pimp" (n or v) means.

    Here's a typical one:

    One who finds customers for a prostitute; a procurer. intr.v. , pimped , pimping , pimps

    Now if the OP really wants to do that with his new home, I guess that's up to him, but I wonder how many of us are qualified to advise him...

  10. Re:I knew people were going to post this by space_in_your_face · · Score: 3, Funny

    ..., asshole.

    Don't judge someone you don't know.