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Jeremy Allison On Why DRM Will Never Work

Posted by Zonk on from the we-come-in-peace-shoot-to-kill dept.

eldavojohn writes "At the ZDNet site, Jeremy Allison (a well-known employee of the Google corporation) goes on a hilarious rant against Digital Rights Management. He compares the access restriction technology with underwear gnomes & Star Trek while ending with: 'Believing in a DRM business model is like joining Star Fleet security, putting on your red shirt, and volunteering to beam down to the new unexplored planet with Kirk, Spock and McCoy. Someone will be coming back from that mission, it's just not likely to be the security guard. Always a true engineer, Scotty had the good sense to stay safely on board the ship.'"

12 of 366 comments (clear)

  1. As I'm sure all Slashdot readers will recall by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    When Scotty did go down to the planet in Wolf in the Fold (for strippers, as a good engineer should), he was accused of murder. Lesson learned!

    1. Re:As I'm sure all Slashdot readers will recall by monk.e.boy · · Score: 5, Funny

      When Scotty did go down to the planet in Wolf in the Fold (for strippers, as a good engineer should), he was accused of murder. Lesson learned!

      Yeah, it always seemed so unfair that he only got to enjoy some nekid flesh, when he could have gone on a wild prostitute sex and killing spree and be treated exactly the same.

      I think we all agree, on shore leave from Enterprise - just go for it!

      Cos, hey. Kirk has your back and he's got fucking proton torpedo's and an itchy trigger finger.

      monk.e.boy

      --
      Open source, flash charts
    2. Re:As I'm sure all Slashdot readers will recall by monk.e.boy · · Score: 5, Funny

      Kirk has your back and he's got fucking proton torpedo's and an itchy trigger finger. Actually, Luke Skywalker had the proton torpedos. Kirk had photon torpedos.

      Shit. I've been found out.

      Here, take my fake geek card and my thick glasses. I'll see myself out.

      monk.e.boy

      --
      Open source, flash charts
    3. Re:As I'm sure all Slashdot readers will recall by Captain+Splendid · · Score: 4, Funny

      Shit. I've been found out.

      Here, take my fake geek card and my thick glasses. I'll see myself out.

      monk.e.boy

      Hmmm, humility. The Force is strong with this one.

      --
      Linux, you magnificent bastard, I read the fucking manual!
    4. Re:As I'm sure all Slashdot readers will recall by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      You're both wrong... Kirk had protEIN torpedos and wasn't afraid to use them.

  2. I resign by Carewolf · · Score: 4, Funny

    I know this was full of of nerdy references, and bashing evil stuff(tm), but I still didn't find it funny..

    So I will hand in my nerd license and resign.

    1. Re:I resign by mulvane · · Score: 5, Funny

      Pretty bad when you are a failure as a nerd. Is there anything left for you?

    2. Re:I resign by nschubach · · Score: 4, Funny

      Sports ...

      --
      Every time I start to have faith in humanity, I ruin it by driving to work between 7 and 8 am.
  3. Ye cannae change the laws of Physics by 91degrees · · Score: 3, Funny

    I always felt this comment was a little rich coming from a series where spaceships travel using a magical warp drive, have inertial dampers that prevent acceleration and a device that allows them to teleport from one place to another.

    The whole premise is based on changing the laws of physics.

  4. Hilarity ensues... by 4D6963 · · Score: 3, Funny

    He compares the access restriction technology with underwear gnomes

    Step 1 : Make an underpants gnomes reference
    Step 2 : ???
    Step 3 : Hilarity

    --
    You just got troll'd!
  5. Meanwhile, aboard the Enterprise... by Billosaur · · Score: 4, Funny

    Kirk: Uhura, can you patch into their signal?

    Uhura: I'm trying, sir, but they're using some sort of signal encryption...

    Kirk: Mr. Spock, analysis.

    Spock [leaning over viewer]: It appears to be a primitive form of encryption, Captain. It will only take me a few moments to break it.

    Uhura: Sir, we're getting a signal from the alien ship.

    Kirk: On audio, Lieutenant.

    Voice: This is the RIAA vessel Enforcer ordering you to cease and desist your efforts to break our encryption. Our signals belong to us and you have not paid the appropriate fees to access them. Cease immediately or we will be forced to beam our lawyers aboard your ship!

    --
    GetOuttaMySpace - The Anti-Social Network
  6. Only in Canada, eh? by weenie510 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Claiming that [DRM] can ever be made secure ... is like believing you can create a secure bank vault by drawing chalk lines on the pavement, piling the money inside and asking customers to "respect these boundaries".

    That might work in Canada. How do you get a bunch of Canadians out of a swimming pool? "Excuse me, would everyone please get out of the pool?"