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Crackers Cause Pentagon to Put Computers Offline
Anarchysoft writes "As many as 1500 Pentagon computers were brought offline on Wednesday in response to a cyber attack. Defense Secretary Robert Gates reported of the fallout both that the attack had 'no adverse impact on department operations' and that 'there will be some administrative disruptions and personal inconveniences.' When asked whether his own e-mail had been compromised, Gates responded, 'I don't do e-mail. I'm a very low-tech person.'"
I recommend a less-crumbly type of snack, like carrot sticks or celery. Dip is right out.
...that the hairdresser's hair is the one with the ugliest haircut.
this is probably the most boring sig in the world
You're right, nothing could ever go wrong having someone physically carrying a message.
Another slashdot meme in the making?
"I don't do $technology, I'm a very low-tech person."
It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile
Be yourself no matter what they say
Scene: Secretary Gates's office - dawn
A PERSISTENT BEEPING breaks the stillness.
SECRETARY GATES stumbles in from an adjoining room, bleary-eyed. Another all-nighter of trying to keep the world safe for democracy.
SECRETARY GATES: What the blazes is it now?
He picks up his Big Red Phone.
SECRETARY GATES: Gates here. What is it?
TECH #1: Sir! This is Collins at Central. We've got a situation -- massive DOS, widely distributed. One of the worst yet.
SECRETARY GATES: Damn! Tell me it's not--
TECH #1: Bad news, sir. It's your brother.
BILL GATES: Mwa ha ha ha!
SECRETARY GATES: Curse you, Bill! What infernal scheme have you cooked up now?
BILL GATES: By making Windows insecure and ensuring its worldwide adoption, I now have an army of millions of zombie computers at my disposal! I will instruct them to PERMANENTLY destroy your computer network unless you pay me... <pinky>one hundred BEEEELLYON dollars!</pinky>
SECRETARY GATES: But... you already have billions of dollars!
BILL GATES: Yes, but Mother always liked you better, so now I'm overcompensating. Top of the world, ma!
JAMES CAGNEY'S GHOST: Cut that out!
"Destroy science and religion. Science would re-emerge exactly the same; but not religion." - Penn Jillette, paraphrased
The dude who pulled this off was black! But The Man will never give credit for something this big to a brother.
How ya like dat?
The $600 hammer was explained thusly: A box of miscellaneous parts, including some very expensive high-tech items and some cheap low-tech ones (like hammers), was shipped. By the accounting rules, each item is assigned an identical part of the shipping and processing costs. So the hammer cost like $10, plus $590 in processing, while there were $5000 items in there that also had $590 in processing assigned to them. Some idiot soldier opened the box, saw the invoice, and called his congressman.
Employees whose computers were affected could still use their 'handheld BlackBerries'. OMG that means hackers compromised the Desktop Blackberries
"Drawing closer to world domination, keystroke by keystroke."
If you're a member of the military with some rank, shouting is a much more effective mode of communication. I imagine Microsoft producing specialized keyboards for the military, such as the MS Multimedia Sergeant Keyboard, which defaults to caps lock being always on.
Task Mangler
The best security is not having the damn wires there in the first place.
Ahhh yes... the air-gap firewall - works better than anything.
I'm sure Cisco has one for $40,000 they can sell the DHS (empty box with two RJ-45s). They need it.
Most of the stuff on
How did they know it was pasty white guys?
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. - Will Rogers