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Giant Penguins Once Roamed Peru

Posted by kdawson on from the not-cute-like-tux dept.

Douglas Roberts points out as "obvious Linux fodder" the coverage of a study just published in PNAS claiming that, on fossil evidence, giant penguins once stalked the plains of Peru. One species goes back over 40 million years and its members were as large as modern king penguins. They were warm adapted. Members of another species, 30 million years ago, stood 5 feet high and made their living spearfishing with their 1-foot beaks. Here's an artist's impression.

48 of 222 comments (clear)

  1. I for one blah blah by Mikachu · · Score: 5, Funny

    I, welcome, overlords, etc.

    Now that that's out of the way, we can actually have a serious discussion about this

    (just kidding)

    1. Re:I for one blah blah by ozmanjusri · · Score: 5, Funny
      Now that that's out of the way, we can actually have a serious discussion about this

      Is it ok if we imagine a Beowulf cluster of them first?

      --
      "I've got more toys than Teruhisa Kitahara."
    2. Re:I for one blah blah by Mikachu · · Score: 3, Funny

      Of course not, my mother died that way, you insensitive clod!

    3. Re:I for one blah blah by laejoh · · Score: 5, Funny

      In Soviet Russia a Beowulf cluster of Giant Penguins roam you?

    4. Re:I for one blah blah by remmelt · · Score: 4, Funny

      I call BS! The earth is not older than 2000 years, so man and astroman and dinosaurs and now giant penguins roamed the earth TOGETHER! In harmony!

    5. Re:I for one blah blah by zobier · · Score: 2, Funny

      I believe "In Soviet Russia a Beowulf cluster of Giant Penguins imagines you once roamed prehistoric Peru" sums it up best.

      --
      Me lost me cookie at the disco.
  2. End of the line. by Funkcikle · · Score: 4, Funny

    Obviously the end result of an unpopular fork.

    1. Re:End of the line. by Tatarize · · Score: 3, Funny

      That's it. It's over. Evolution has jumped the shark.

      --

      It is no longer uncommon to be uncommon.
    2. Re:End of the line. by Funkcikle · · Score: 4, Funny

      Nah. Just Bigpengian was deprecated in favour of Littlepengian.

    3. Re:End of the line. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      I kept trying to warn them about bloat, but nobody listens to a lowly AC.

    4. Re:End of the line. by 1u3hr · · Score: 2, Funny

      They're not dead. They're pining for the fjords.

  3. Giant Ancient Penguins are Linux fodder? by suv4x4 · · Score: 3, Funny

    We're hopelessly desperate, aren't we.

    Damn.

    1. Re:Giant Ancient Penguins are Linux fodder? by Ngarrang · · Score: 3, Funny

      This is clearly a case of too many Penguin distros for the ecology to support. Once Mother Nature focused her efforts on few variations, she was able to increase the usage of the remaining distros.

      --
      Bearded Dragon
    2. Re:Giant Ancient Penguins are Linux fodder? by jamstar7 · · Score: 3, Funny

      We're hopelessly desperate, aren't we.

      Starting to look that way.

      Know any good sites I can bittorrent a life from?

      --
      Understanding the scope of the problem is the first step on the path to true panic.
  4. Stalked ? by kgp_crap · · Score: 5, Funny

    Stalked the plains of Peru ?? WTF ? Penguins ? Hunting what ? Wilder beasts ? At least the article says that they just 'roamed' the deserts .

    1. Re:Stalked ? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Hunting what ?

      Tiny polar bears. Those penguins could eat several per day.
    2. Re:Stalked ? by jollyreaper · · Score: 5, Funny

      Stalked the plains of Peru ?? WTF ? Penguins ? Look, all I'm saying is anything big enough to hunt geographic features, I don't wanna fuck with it, ok?
      --
      Kwisatz Haderach
      Sell the spice to CHOAM
      This Mahdi took Shaddam's Throne
    3. Re:Stalked ? by Wookietim · · Score: 3, Funny

      I get the mental picture of packs of giant penguins, roaming the deserts of Peru. Suddenly, the lead Penguin sees a pack of antelope grazing in the field ahead of it. Stealthily, the pack creeps up on them when - suddenly! 5 five foot tall penguins leap into action, running at speeds close to 1 mile per hour, and the kill is over - The Antelope will eat well tonight!

      --
      http://timcol6.freehostia.com/
  5. Yes, but... by Corporate+Troll · · Score: 4, Funny

    did they run Linux? ;-)

    1. Re:Yes, but... by RuBLed · · Score: 4, Funny

      something that bloated could never run efficiently...

  6. Crap by xhydra · · Score: 5, Funny

    "made their living spearfishing"
    Oh is that so???

    And in other more recent news fossil evidence found England has indicated that 60 million years ago
    apples grew to a astounnding circumference of 2 metres...... Fodder for Mac-Fanboys

    --
    "Drawing closer to world domination, keystroke by keystroke."
  7. obligatory Monty Python by mgabrys_sf · · Score: 5, Funny

    First Old Woman: Well, what's on the television then.

    Second Old Woman: Looks like a giant 5 foot tall prehistoric penguin.

    First Old Woman: No No No not what's on the television set - I mean what programme?

  8. I apologize by jmitchel!jmitchel.co · · Score: 4, Funny

    Imagine a beowulf cluster of those.

  9. Re:suggested name.. by xhydra · · Score: 3, Funny

    1. linusaurus
    2. Torvaldosaur

    --
    "Drawing closer to world domination, keystroke by keystroke."
  10. Footprint too big by weinrich · · Score: 3, Funny

    Let this be a reverse-anthromorphic lesson to everyone in the Linux community: People care about size! Once your on-disk image gets too big (5-foot tall??) your fork will ultimately go extinct.

    --
    Error: .sig not found, using /etc/passwd instead
  11. beowulf check, overloards check, oh you forgot... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    in soviet Russia, giant penguins roam you!

  12. Global Warming. by Karganeth · · Score: 5, Funny

    I have no doubt that these penguins no longer roam there thanks to man made Global Warming. We must immediately lower our CO2 emissions and cripple our economic growth.

  13. Pingo Sapiens? by edittard · · Score: 5, Funny

    An upright posture frees the forelimbs from walking duties. Imagine if these had evolved to be tool users then tool makers. They might have developed computers, and an OS with a mostly hairless ape for a mascot.

    --
    At the bottom of the /. main page it says 'Yesterday's News'. Well they got that right.
    1. Re:Pingo Sapiens? by codeButcher · · Score: 4, Funny

      Can't imagine anyone having Ballmer for a mascot......

      --
      Free, as in your money being freed from the confines of your account.
  14. Way cool! by Quiet_Desperation · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'll take a dozen, please! :)

    Can they be taught basic police dog techniques?

    Or, better yet, martial arts?

    I mean, you put a sharp metal edge on those... wings and you've got, well, something that rocks.

    Hah! Marching Penguin Bladed Wing Attack! Pow!

  15. Artists impression by mrjb · · Score: 4, Funny

    Because they were depicted as penguins the artist decided for black-and-white. However common these are as animal colors around the polar circle. If these creatures were adapted to living in a hotter environment, most likely they would have followed a color scheme that would better hide them from predators.

    Or else they would have gone extinct. Oh wait. Never mind.

    --
    Visit http://ringbreak.dnd.utwente.nl/~mrjb/growingbettersoftware to download your free copy of the book
    1. Re:Artists impression by loic_2003 · · Score: 5, Funny

      "Because they were depicted as penguins the artist decided for black-and-white. However common these are as animal colors around the polar circle. If these creatures were adapted to living in a hotter environment, most likely they would have followed a color scheme that would better hide them from predators."

      This is true; one only has to look at the herds of zebras floating on icebergs in the artic to confirm this is the case...

      --
      http://www.frenchgeek.com/
    2. Re:Artists impression by nschubach · · Score: 3, Funny

      On land they wouldn't be able to get up to anything more then a frantic waddle. No matter what colour you are that's not going to be helpful.
      What if you were some sort of paisley patterned tie die color. Simply waddling might make the predator nauseous and vomit instead of chasing after you. ;)
      --
      Every time I start to have faith in humanity, I ruin it by driving to work between 7 and 8 am.
    3. Re:Artists impression by mrjb · · Score: 2, Funny

      Even seen a zebra on an iceberg? No? See how well those colors work to blend into the environment ;)

      --
      Visit http://ringbreak.dnd.utwente.nl/~mrjb/growingbettersoftware to download your free copy of the book
  16. Giant penguins with... by pandrijeczko · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...frickin' laser beams on their heads!

    --
    Gentoo Linux - another day, another USE flag.
  17. They probably left by Rik+Sweeney · · Score: 3, Funny

    when Cameron Diaz insulted them with another one of her bags.

    --
    Summation 2
  18. Re:about Penguins by Bill+Dog · · Score: 5, Funny

    I'm the other leading expert. All penguins do is waddle and shit.

    --
    Attention zealots and haters: 00100 00100
  19. "back over 40 million years" by tucolino · · Score: 1, Funny

    whoa! that was definitely the year of the linux desktop!

  20. Re:beowulf check, overloards check, oh you forgot. by nwbvt · · Score: 4, Funny

    Don't forget:

    1. Find ancient species of giant penguins
    2. ???
    3. PROFIT!

    And:
    Netcraft confirms that all giant penguins are dead.

    And last but not least:
    The last one was killed after Steve Ballmer threw a chair at it and swore "I'm going to f***ing kill the giant penguins"

    Those were a lot funnier in my mind. And they weren't even very funny there...

    --
    Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination.
  21. This would have been more worthy of Slashdot by niceone · · Score: 3, Funny

    If the archaeologists had found some evidence of what distro they preferred.

    --
    ccalam - acoustic versions of new songs.
  22. This proves it... by phagstrom · · Score: 5, Funny

    Linux predates Microsoft's patents.

    I guess there is no way we're going to have a serious discussion on this subject.

  23. That explains much by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    That explains why the time-less daemons carry pitchforks - for protection from 1 foot beaks.

  24. Was this a serious article? by Njoyda+Sauce · · Score: 2, Funny
    I mean I couldn't make it past this gem:

    The study also describes the first complete skull of a giant penguin, which provided a tantalizing glimpse into ancient penguin lifestyle. That's almost sig worthy.
    --

    You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever.
  25. Yum yum by HellYeahAutomaton · · Score: 2, Funny

    1) Nuclear transfer DNA of giant penguins with existing penguins, and in several generations have %88 genetic compatibility.
    2) Breed and let frolic 'free range'.
    3) Stir fry.
    4) ?????
    5) Profit!!!

  26. Nobody expects the penguin inquisition! by Tatisimo · · Score: 2, Funny

    in fact, our two main weapons are sharp long beaks, disgustingly cute builds and Linux zealots who'll keep us alive in their folklore till kingdom come! Three, that's three...

    --
    Give Kashyyyk back to the Wookies
  27. Guess you'd call that... by Deadstick · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...a Magnum Opus.

    rj

  28. Re:Miskatonic University's Paebody Expedition... by mikeee · · Score: 2, Funny

    Which expedition also established that the penguins were tolerated by, or possibly pets of, the Old Ones.

    [...]

    It it just me, or does the Debian spiral look like a tentacle if you squint just right?

  29. All of the body parts would be enlarged by PaulTheSamurai · · Score: 2, Funny

    "He vould have an enormous schwanzstucker."