Slashdot Mirror

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

What Happened Before the Big Bang?

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on from the why-not-just-invent-a-time-machine dept.

The Bad Astronomer writes to tell us that a recent advance in Loop Quantum Gravity theory appears to allow the mathematics of cosmology to be extended to the time before the Universe underwent the Big Bang. Bad Astronomer also attempts to simplify things a bit with his own explanation of the new discovery.

10 of 394 comments (clear)

  1. Easy by voice_of_all_reason · · Score: 4, Funny

    The big foreplay.

    Come on, what do you think, the universe is a whore?

    1. Re:Easy by elrous0 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Before the big bang? That was back when God was in college. He totally meant to create the universe--but he was having problems with his girlfriend, his parents were giving him all kinds of shit, his weed connection got busted by the cops, and his humanities professor was riding his ass about that late paper. He finally did get his shit together and did the whole "let there be light" thing, though. Hey, we've all been young, right?

      --
      SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
    2. Re:Easy by glindsey · · Score: 4, Funny

      humanities professor was riding his ass about that late paper

      Considering God had yet to create humans, this was a particularly difficult paper to write.

  2. Well, the last thing said before was... by Critical+Facilities · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Hey guys, watch this"

  3. Everyone knows.... by Himring · · Score: 3, Funny

    Everyone knows that just before the big bang, chuck norris was launching a roundhouse kick....

    --
    "All great things are simple & expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope." --Churchill
  4. The punchline by Spy+der+Mann · · Score: 4, Funny

    These theories may seem like mumbo-jumbo or magic, but they have that very basic property of science: they're testable.

    As a science-loving person, I almost fell in ecstasy by just reading this sentence. It really gets things straight regarding religious fanboyism. So "eat that, Intelligent Design".

    Ahh... saying that felt so good.

  5. You mean... by grub · · Score: 5, Funny


    "What Happened 6001 Years Ago?"
    Fixed that for you.

    --
    Trolling is a art,
  6. What happened before the big bang? by jollyreaper · · Score: 4, Funny

    Dinner, a movie, and a whole lotta wine. Giggity-giggity-goo!

    --
    Kwisatz Haderach
    Sell the spice to CHOAM
    This Mahdi took Shaddam's Throne
  7. ereh ees ot gnihtoN by mypalmike · · Score: 3, Funny

    .gnola evom esaelP

    --
    There are 0x40000000 types of people: those who understand 32-bit IEEE 754 floating point, and those who don't.
  8. So God Does Too Play Dice by Kozar_The_Malignant · · Score: 4, Funny
    From TFA:

    >One implication of this "cosmic forgetfulness," as Bojowald calls it, is that history does not repeat itself-the fundamental properties of the current era of the universe are different from the last, Bojowald explained. "It's as if the universe forgot some of its properties and acquired new properties independent of what it had before," he told SPACE.com.

    So not only does God play dice, but He re-rolls to get a better attribute set.

    --
    Some mornings it's hardly worth chewing through the restraints to get out of bed.