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High-Tech Squirrels Trained to Conduct Espionage
Pcol writes "In the July 20 issue of the Washington Post, columnist Al Kamen reports that the BBC has translated a story headlined 'spying squirrels,' published in the Iranian newspaper Resalat on the use of trained animals to conduct espionage against their country: 'A few weeks ago, 14 squirrels equipped with espionage systems of foreign intelligence services were captured by [Iranian] intelligence forces along the country's borders. These trained squirrels, each of which weighed just over 700 grams, were released on the borders of the country for intelligence and espionage purposes.' According the story the squirrels had 'GPS devices, bugging instruments and advanced cameras' in their bodies. 'Given the fast speed and the special physical features of these animals, they provide special capabilities for spying operations. Once the animals return to their place of origin, the intelligence gathered by them is then offloaded. . . .' Iranian police officials captured the squirrels before they could carry out their assignments."
Secret Squirrel
And can someone please tell me if this post is a joke or if Iranians really think US is using squirrels, or if Iranians made this up for propoganda? Who's going to believe this...
God spoke to me.
Didn't they know that?
But seriously, the CIA tried something like that with a cat: http://mprofaca.cro.net/spycats.html "They tested him and tested him. They found he would walk off the job when he got hungry, so they put another wire in to override that."
And there have always been rumors about the Navy training dolphins. Given how capable trained dolphins are, that wouldn't be too surprising to me.
But squirrels? Can squirrels be trained? Why mess around with trained squirrels when they can use paid humans?
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Mailboxes Etc in Beverly Hills
I think Hanna-Barbera has prior art on that...
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
Resalat is one of the two ultra-conservative papers in Iran, the other is Kayhan (very close to Ayatollah Khamenei, the director, Shariatmadari is assigned by him and is also his adviser). Being government run papers they are extremely powerful in a sense that while more that 150 reformist/leftist papers have been shut down during the past 7 years, these two have left survived any litigation.
I occasionally read those when I was in Iran and believe it or not they are FoxNews-made-in-Iran. Anyway, try not to take them serious.
just thought someone might be interested!
It was widely reported several years ago that cats had been surgically modified to contain bugging instruments, a small power supply, and a broadcasting antenna that ran the length of the animal's tail.
I believe the original test subjects were released in NYC and were dead within 24 hours. See, one of the requirements for the plan to be fruitful was a high population density to increase the chance of picking up something interesting... unfortunately the level of traffic in these areas is not healthy for stray kitties with no street experience. The surgery also included a type of disabling of the cat's hunger response so that it would stay in the vicinity of the area it was released and not go running off immediately in search of food.
Here is one link to info, but I am not familiar with the site or their specific version of events: http://mprofaca.cro.net/spycats.html.
The NPR archives should turn something up as that is where I first heard of project 'Acoustic Kitty.'
Regards.
Instead of keeping the squirrels, they should have replaced the surveillance gear with tiny little bomb vests and let them go.
If necessary, they could also indoctrinate the squirrels with rumors of 72 virgin squirrels awaiting them in the afterlife.
They tried, but:
1) Squirrels are better at math than jihadis. They spot the 72 virgin con easily.
2) Squirrels aren't all that picky about the virgin thing anyhow.
Actually, we have had problems with suicidal squirrels around here. Every once in a while the power will go out and they'll find a very crispy squirrel near a chewed-on power cable. I don't think that tiny little bomb vests would add much to the effect.
Sending in secret ninja squirrels to rescue the American hostages in Iran is sadly more likely than any other forceful action to get them released.
Mind you those Møøse bites can be pretty nasti.
Those responsible for sending the squirrels have been sacked.
-Styopa