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The IT Industry's Red Shift Theory

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on from the like-a-big-shiny-bubble dept.

Stony Stevenson writes "Sun Microsystems' CTO, Greg Papadopoulos has come out with a Red Shift Theory for IT which posits that an 'elite group of companies are consuming inordinate amounts of IT infrastructure, well beyond most other businesses, and that their demand is growing exponentially. This trend, Papadopoulos maintains, has implications not just for IT's most insatiable consumers, but for the structure of the computing industry itself. It's not just about how many CPU cycles a company uses. Papadopoulos argues that red-shift companies will enjoy exponential business growth in the coming years. Blue-shift companies — those whose processing needs aren't exploding — will grow at about the same rate as GDP, he says.'"

18 of 176 comments (clear)

  1. If Professor Hawking says it... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    it must be true. Why else would they allude to a phenomenon of cosmic proportion to describe a simple "growth equals growth" observation?

  2. Huh? by Bombula · · Score: 5, Funny

    One shift two shift, red shift blue shift?

    --
    A-Bomb
    1. Re:Huh? by ookabooka · · Score: 2, Funny

      Apparently the same people that don't like being told what they are doing is puzzling and not worth the trouble.

      --
      If you are about to mod me down, keep in mind that this post was most likely sarcastic.
  3. Red Giants by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    The problem then is that red giants end up as white dwarfs, and no-one will do business with a dwarf!

    1. Re:Red Giants by maeka · · Score: 2, Funny

      The problem then is that red giants end up as white dwarfs, and no-one will do business with a dwarf!

      Except the rat and ketchup salesmen.
    2. Re:Red Giants by Oktober+Sunset · · Score: 2, Funny

      loads of people do business with dwarfs, the dwarfs however always get the short end of the stick.

      --
      What if Tetris was invented by Nazis?
  4. But... Doppler... by tehSpork · · Score: 4, Funny

    But they used the Doppler effect to explain it, surely that little scientific reference counts for something?

    1. Re:But... Doppler... by TheLink · · Score: 4, Funny

      Yeah, it should be a black shift - where your company stops buying lots of expensive Sun hardware and shifts from being "in the red" to "back in black". ;).

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    2. Re:But... Doppler... by Bloke+down+the+pub · · Score: 2, Funny

      they have either a Cockney or Australian accent.
      And it doesn't matter which - most of you bally colonials can't tell the bloomin' difference.
      --
      It's true I tell you, feller at work's next door neighbour read it in the paper.
  5. The ST Industry's Red Shirt Theory by whrrr · · Score: 3, Funny

    'Sun Microsystems' CTO, Greg Papadopoulos has come out with a Red Shirt Theory for IT which posits that an 'elite group of aliens are consuming inordinate amounts of ST infrastructure, well beyond most other aliens, and that their murders are growing exponentially. This trend, Papadopoulos maintains, has implications not just for ST's most insatiable consumers, but for the structure of the space industry itself. It's not just about how many warp cycles a company uses. Papadopoulos argues that red-shirt companies will enjoy exponential deaths in the coming years. Blue-shirt companies -- those whose heads aren't exploding -- will live at about the same rate as GDP, he says.

  6. Re:no, no, no by Moderatbastard · · Score: 4, Funny

    Come on, you're oversimplifying. He also says slower growing companies grow more slowly. It's that little bit of extra insight that makes the difference between ending up as CTO instead of a janitor in the modern corporate world.

    --
    1/3 of jokes get modded OT. If you get the joke, mod 1 in 3 insightful/interesting/underrated to restore karma balance.
  7. Inventing Terminology for CEO's by florescent_beige · · Score: 5, Funny

    Don't be harsh. Proactively leveraging six sigma synergies in a blue-red shift discontinuously changing ecosystem leads to a re-efficiently contracting contingency workforce paradigm tending toward the rightsize.

    Only a fool would ignore the gainshare effect of empowerment strategies that insourced intellectual capital reallocation due to lean Kaizen open door management obviously creates. The mosaic effects of capital market global forward-trends account for fully 4 points share of Sun's complex-component earnings per diluted ownerstake last quarter.

    With two new colors to work with, things can only improve.
    --
    Equine Mammals Are Considerably Smaller
    1. Re:Inventing Terminology for CEO's by ameline · · Score: 2, Funny

      Yes, but I'm not entirely sure that I don't fail to completely disagree with you.

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      Ian Ameline
    2. Re:Inventing Terminology for CEO's by Tablizer · · Score: 2, Funny

      There's a neat trick you can play with Markov chains to generate this sort of text.

      Or just use the Dilbert Mission Statement Generator with a few minor edits here and there.

      --
      Table-ized A.I.
  8. Every company is racing away from every other by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    And the rate of expansion seems to be increasing from the little-understood Dark Capitalism.

    1. Re:Every company is racing away from every other by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Also known as the black market.

  9. All I got from this: by Entropius · · Score: 3, Funny

    1) Some people buy more fast computers than other people.
    2) Like, a *lot* more.
    3) These have to be bloody *fast* computers, if they're causing Doppler shifts.

  10. Re:'Exponential' fails common sense. by _Sprocket_ · · Score: 2, Funny

    Of course, eventually you need to be producing everything people use and consuming all available resources. I'm looking forward to the iApple with not only a lickable, but crunchable interface.