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G.I. Joe No Longer the Real American Hero?
Advocate123 writes "Clearly, Hollywood has forgotten the, 'Real American Hero.' G.I. Joe originally symbolized the American WWII soldier and a great generation. Now Hollywood celebrities are going to turn him into a international multicultural coed task force with no government affiliations. Isn't anything sacred to these people?"
It all started when our adventure-loving...adventurer, cmdrtaco, woke up in a disease-infested jungle. It was the ninth time it had happened. Feeling exceedingly concerned, cmdrtaco groped a potato, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). A few freaknasty minutes later, he realized that his beloved hairy dildo was missing! Immediately he called his favorite Mormon, cowboyneal. cmdrtaco had known cowboyneal for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were enchanting ones. cowboyneal was unique. He was plucky though sometimes a little... pestering. cmdrtaco called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.
cowboyneal picked up to a very happy cmdrtaco. cowboyneal calmly assured him that most Indonesian devil cats belch before mating, yet long-haired sea monkeys usually sassily sigh *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting cmdrtaco. Why was cowboyneal trying to distract cmdrtaco? Because he had snuck out from cmdrtaco's with the hairy dildo only eleven days prior. It was a enchanting little hairy dildo... how could he resist?
It didn't take long before cmdrtaco got back to the subject at hand: his hairy dildo. cowboyneal cringed. Relunctantly, cowboyneal invited him over, assuring him they'd find the hairy dildo. cmdrtaco grabbed his canoe and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, cowboyneal realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the hairy dildo and he had to do it fearlessly. He figured that if cmdrtaco took the homemade car, he had take at least four minutes before cmdrtaco would get there. But if he took the giant penis? Then cowboyneal would be scarcely screwed.
Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, cowboyneal was interrupted by six dimwitted ligres that were lured by his hairy dildo. cowboyneal shuddered; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling displeased, he recklessly reached for his carrot and aptly grabbed every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the fanstic pumpkin patch, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the giant penis rolling up. It was cmdrtaco.
As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Jim's House of Wings to pick up a 12-pack of bananas, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, cmdrtaco was out of the giant penis and went indiscriminately jaunting toward cowboyneal's front door. Meanwhile inside, cowboyneal was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the hairy dildo into a box of ninja stars and then slid the box behind his time machine. cowboyneal was worried but at least the hairy dildo was concealed. The doorbell rang.
'Come in,' cowboyneal indiscriminately purred. With a heroic push, cmdrtaco opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some funny-smelling spite-toting jerk in a Jap Trap,' he lied. 'It's fine,' cowboyneal assured him. cmdrtaco took a seat just under where cowboyneal had hidden the hairy dildo. cowboyneal turned red trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But cmdrtaco was distracted. A few freaknasty minutes later, cowboyneal noticed a oafish look on cmdrtaco's face. cmdrtaco slowly opened his mouth to speak.
'...What's that smell?'
cowboyneal felt a stabbing pain in his love handle when cmdrtaco asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the hairy dildo right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A selfish look started to form on cmdrtaco's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's wolverines from when she used to have pet long-haired sea monkeys. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. cmdrtaco nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before cowboyneal could react, cmdrtaco randomly lunged toward
Scuttle Monkey proves himself once again to be totally unqualified to be an editor.
Hymietown West. 'Nuff said.
Here's a better link that demonstrates the basic premise of the article.
So if I believe that having a small, limited government is good
Having a small government for the sake of a small government is no better than more government for the sake of more government.
It's not the US Military's fault that countries like France don't want to mess up their pedicures (or spend tax money that their governments cherish so much), so take your unilateralism argument elsewhere.
I'd like to hear YOUR solution, because I've been trying to find one for 20 years now, and the world has been trying to find one ever since the Balfour Declaration of 1917.
Unfortuantely, those who make the most noise about "smaller government" usually mean ...
Stop right here. The basic principle of debate is that you debate what the person actually says, not what you invent. If you can't do that, you can take your ass back to a lefty echo chamber like DailyKos where you belong.