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Can String Theory Accommodate Inflation?

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on from the constantly-evolving-theory dept.

David Shiga writes "String theory is the leading contender for a "theory of everything" that could unite all the forces of physics. But a recent study suggests that it may be more difficult than scientists had hoped to square string theory with inflation — the widely accepted notion that the early universe had a period of especially rapid expansion. Some say this could even lead to the abandonment of either string theory or inflation, though no one is ruling out a possible resolution yet."

20 of 243 comments (clear)

  1. Ahem: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    It is said that papers in string theory are published at a rate greater than the speed of light. This, however, is not problematic since no information is being transmitted.

    1. Re:Ahem: by mikael · · Score: 4, Funny

      Remember the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy...

      As Disaster Area's earnings require hypermathematics, their chief research accountant was named Professor of Neomathematics at the University of Maximegalon and in his Special Theories of Tax Returns he proves that space-time is "not merely curved, it is, in fact, totally bent."

      --
      Vintage computer adverts: http://www.vintageadbrowser.com/computers-and-software-ads
    2. Re:Ahem: by daem0n1x · · Score: 2, Funny

      I need strings, I play the guitar, you insensitive clod!

  2. Spaghetti String Theory by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    Does string theory incorporate the inflation of meatballs and saucy noodles (i.e. strings) due to FSM?

    1. Re:Spaghetti String Theory by Chris+Burke · · Score: 4, Funny

      saucy noodles (i.e. strings)

      Whoa, whoa there. Noodles aren't "i.e." strings. Noodles are weak, wimpy string posers unable to carry any significant vibrations which given strings their energetic properties. At least according to string theory. Also, according to string theory pirates cannot exist. So you see string theory is the enemy of the FSM.

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      The enemies of Democracy are
    2. Re:Spaghetti String Theory by Marxist+Hacker+42 · · Score: 2, Funny

      Inflation is proof that there is a creative Flying Spaghetti Monster out there somewhere. It is NOT, however, proof that such a force is intelligent or anything we'd think of as a being.

      --
      SJW: a person who perceives an injustice, and while correcting it, commits a greater injustice.
    3. Re:Spaghetti String Theory by WillAffleckUW · · Score: 2, Funny

      Whoa, whoa there. Noodles aren't "i.e." strings. Noodles are weak, wimpy string posers unable to carry any significant vibrations which given strings their energetic properties. At least according to string theory. Also, according to string theory pirates cannot exist. So you see string theory is the enemy of the FSM.

      Strings are the anti-noodle. As we can not see the true face of the the Spaghetti Monster, being that we are corporeal and not created in His image, so are noodles only a worldly approximation of his unstringiness.

      Many say that the Net, with its tubes and ever searching for wood to make pirate signals from, more closely resembles the true noodlieness of the universe. In fact, we find that many of the packets that roam the Net have things not unlike strings inside them, proving that His noodliness is more than strings, but unstrung.

      Now, it's time to get at the meat of the matter. And that is where pirates come in. As we all know, pirates love both grog and meat. And rum. Can't have enough rum.

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      -- Tigger warning: This post may contain tiggers! --
    4. Re:Spaghetti String Theory by kennygraham · · Score: 2, Funny

      they just need to talk like pirates and cure global warming.

      Arr, one in the same, matey. One in the same.

      May you be touched by his noodly appendage,
      Kenny

  3. Can String Theory Accommodate Inflation? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Sure.

    As central governments print more and more strings, the strings currently in circulation are devalued.

    1. Re:Can String Theory Accommodate Inflation? by OECD · · Score: 2, Funny

      As central governments print more and more strings, the strings currently in circulation are devalued.

      Ah, that's where advertising comes in.

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      One man's -1 Flamebait is another man's +5 Funny.
  4. Let's hope so... by feepness · · Score: 2, Funny

    If the Fed cuts interest rates next week.

    1. Re:Let's hope so... by SnoopJeDi · · Score: 3, Funny

      ## BEGIN STRING THEORY JOKE I'm a frayed knot. ## END STRING THEORY JOKE

  5. Well Duh by DanielMarkham · · Score: 2, Funny

    If all the little strings are broken, it's no wonder the universe is flying apart!

  6. Re:Glad someone noticed this by QRDeNameland · · Score: 4, Funny

    This is a vindication of us old school proponents of char* theory.

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    Momentarily, the need for the construction of new light will no longer exist.
  7. Resolution ruled out. by binarybum · · Score: 4, Funny

    no one is ruling out a possible resolution yet.

      Ah-hem, I am. Please let the record reflect that I was the first to do so.

    done. wake me up when there are more scientific milestones up for grabs.

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    ôó
  8. Sure it can by RelliK · · Score: 4, Funny

    They'll just add 5 more dimensions.

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    ___
    If you think big enough, you'll never have to do it.
  9. Re:String Theory is Religon Not Science by Original+Replica · · Score: 2, Funny

    Given that a large part of the theoretical physics world has spent 30ish years on this, isn't it time to move on?

    I am in no way a Physicist, but wouldn't "moving on" from String Theory require some genius to propose something else that reconciles Quantum Physics and Newtonian Physics? I don't think the first-step break through of an entirely new theory is going to come from the physics community as a whole, but from a single person or small group. Until that happens, grad students still need something to write thesis papers about...

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    We are all just people.
  10. Breaking news! by FridayBob · · Score: 2, Funny

    Cosmologists are finding that it is impossible to square string theory with Einstein's theory of General Relativity after all. Some say this could even lead to the abandonment General Relativity...


    ... if only to ensure that string theorists
    around the world do not lose their jobs.

  11. Re:String theory has been essentially replaced by Guppy06 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Why do I have the sudden vision of zombies shuffling around in lab coats crying out for "branes?"

  12. Re:I would like to see some experiments by jagdish · · Score: 2, Funny

    There's nothing more annoying than pontification from ignorant armchair physicists.

    I understand your irritation, but there is no need to insult Stephen Hawking.