More Tokyo Game Show Wrapup
There's a few interesting tidbits left over from last week's Tokyo Games show worth noting. Wired categorizes the whole event as other gamemakers fighting over Nintendo's scraps in an overview piece. Certainly with titles like the new version of cult-classic Nights , Nintendo has a lot of heavy artillery this year. Just the same, (keynote aside) Sony had a fair showing at the event. Gamespot's chat with Phil Harrison gives us another glimpse inside their headspace, a useful measure given the swirl of news around their products. They also have a lot of new Square/Enix titles to look forward to. Microsoft ... pretty much just has Lost Odyssey and Infinite Undiscovery for Japanese fans to look forward to.
Purveyor of racist yet truthful anti-islamic Slashdot troll postings, Ringbarer, today announced the formation of Ringbarer Interactive Entertainment - providing games for Linux.
But what about the games? The 2007 release catalog promises to have something for all Linux gamers:
SIM NIGGER
Ringbarer Interactive Entertainment's flagship title - SIM NIGGER is a freeform sandbox game containing a miniature representation of New Orleans. The floods may have been drained, but that gives your SIM NIGGER opportunity to indulge in the kind of behaviour that only Niggers know and love. Smoke crack; rob tourists at gunpoint; do drive by shootings; eat stolen watermelon; loot televisions; acquire 'bling'; anally rape children; spout incomprehensible gibberish into your (stolen) mobile phone; draw welfare checks; and all that other wholesome stuff. Only with SIM NIGGER can pasty white overprivledged middle-class suburban teenagers express their dislike for Mommy and Daddy by adopting a culture that was never theirs in the first place. Featuring a meticulously marketed 'Urban' soundtrack from Eminem, Fiddy Cent, and Vanilla Ice.
Contains inbuilt advertising from Massive Entertainment who shall plaster every available in game billboard with the same picture, whilst claiming it makes the game more 'realistic', because you're stupid enough to fall for that thing.
ESRB WARNING: Contains hidden scenes of consentual fucking available by manually patching the game to include a DivX viewer and several separately downloaded gigabytes of pornography.
BATTLEFIELD: NOW
The poorly-optimised lagfest that is the Battlefield franchise finally wheezes its way onto the Linux platform. The latest Cancerware(tm) technology ensures that not only will your games take even LONGER to start, thus building anticipation; but even the fastest machine will be ground to a halt - ensuring a fair playing field for all.
Cancerware(tm) is an exciting and revolutionary addition to the franchise, as it shall interface with our servers every game to deliver the very latest geopolitical situation to eager gamers. Whichever enemy the USA are at war with at the moment will be the enemy you are shooting on screen, taking realism to the max! You can be shooting ungrateful Iraqi Insurgents one minute, and nuke-wielding North Koreans the next. Remember, folks, we have ALWAYS been at war with North Korea!
Guaranteed to force you to manually rewrite your firewall's bytecode and install every possible graphics development kit on the planet just to be able to run the fucking thing! And then do it all again every time it's patched! Just be fucking grateful!
SPACE MARINE XENOMORPH BUGHUNT 4 - EPISODE 1
Exciting and revolutionary FPS from the makers of SPACE MARINE XENOMORPH BUGHUNT 3. Control a tough talking American Space Marine through several levels of tense, pulse-pounding point-and-click action. Listen to poorly written contrived banter which was considered embarassing when James Cameron first wrote it twenty years ago. Fight ever larger and fatter aliens which are so ludicrous that even Todd McFarlane would wipe his ass on the sketchpad if he ever drew one. Contains the terrifying "Industrial Factory" level, as well as "Sewers", "Crate Warehouse", and "Industrial Factory 2", leading to an exciting plotline cliffhanger
"Why did they cancel my favorite Sci-Fi show? I downloaded ALL the episodes!"
After reading a few things I just wonder what's left. The Wii looks like it will stay pretty fantastic. I've got a whole little list of games I'm waiting for. I'm glad I've got my Wii (and I'm loving Metroid Prime 3, which I'm playing now).
But what is left for the 360? The entire time it's been out people have been saying "Wait for Halo 3... that will do it". What if it doesn't? I'm not saying there won't be some new breakout game, but with Halo 3 out there isn't much on the way that I know of that will have that kind of draw. Nintendo has their series. The PS3 has Final Fantasy XIII (I'm laying XII now, it's great) and Metal Gear Solid 4. What is coming for the 360 like that?
So if Halo 3 doesn't skyrocket sales of the 360... short of a come from nowhere hit MS looks like it will not be catching up for a long time.
Sony has a few good looking games coming, but the price point is still a big problem for me.
I used to say "Wait until GTA comes out on the PSP, that will really drive sales" but when it happened... things didn't seem to really change. Halo 3 is supposed to be good and all but the system is still up there in price. I don't think most people can just drop the near $400 to buy the system and game if they weren't planning for the release.
But if you like the 360 and think it has a really bright future (nice console, I might buy one this XMas)... what exclusive content is coming that has you excited? I don't deny that as the "which system should I buy to play multi-platform games" the 360 is very appealing, but what is coming is a great draw that the PS3 doesn't have?
Comment forecast: Bits of genius surrounded by a sea of mediocrity.
I'm looking forward to a long wait and seeing my savings go bye-bye.
You constantly struggle for self improvement - and it shows.
Hooray for bad Engrish on fortune cookies