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DIY Biochemical Scanner From a Hacked CD Drive
holy_calamity writes "Turns out hacking two extra light sensors into a CD drive can turn it into a lab scanner to read the results of high-accuracy immunoassays used to detect disease markers or pathogens, New Scientist reports. The drive proved able to detect pesticides at concentrations as low as 0.02 micrograms per liter."
It is imperative that I give you the following information, which Joe LIEberman wants concealed from the public. But first, I'm going to jump ahead a bit and talk in general terms about how from the fog and mist of Joe's projects rises the leering grimace of masochism. Then, I'll back up and fill in some of the details. Okay, so to start with the general stuff, Joe is currently limited to shrieking and spitting when he's confronted with inconvenient facts. By the next full moon, however, Joe is likely to switch to some sort of "unleash an unparalleled wave of solipsism" approach to draw our attention away from such facts. If there is one thing I have learned, it is this: If the people generally are relying on false information sown by grotesque troglodytes, then correcting that situation becomes a priority for the defense of our nation. There are deeper issues afoot here, and everyone with half a brain understands that. Since this is one of those "don't say I didn't warn you" letters, I want also to note that I don't care what others say about Joe. He's still perverted, sadistic, and he intends to leave behind a legacy of perpetual indebtedness in developing countries.
Do you really think Joe will ever learn from his mistakes? If you've never seen him establish tacit boundaries and ground rules for the permissible spectrum of opinion, you're either incredibly unobservant or are concealing the truth from yourself. Yes, you heard me right; his utterances are based on a technique I'm sure you've heard of. It's called "lying".
Joe's orations all stem from one, simple, faulty premise -- that space gods arriving in flying saucers will save humanity from self-destruction. Joe refuses to come to terms with reality. He prefers instead to live in a fantasy world of rationalization and hallucination. I hate to say this, but his warnings are as catty as they are an insult to human intelligence. So let him call me cantankerous. I call him intolerant.
Joe's behavior might be different if he were told that raising the volume, increasing the stridency, or stressing the emotionalism of an argument does not improve its validity. Of course, as far as Joe's concerned, this fact will fall into the category of, "My mind is made up; don't confuse me with the facts." That's why I'm telling you that he is not just blasphemous. He is unbelievably, astronomically blasphemous. On rare occasions, in order to preserve their liberties, sometimes people must conspire with evil. Joe does that even when his liberties aren't being threatened. I can't follow his pretzel logic. I do, however, know that Joe has never gotten ahead because of his hard work or innovative ideas. Rather, all of Joe's successes are due to kickbacks, bribes, black market double-dealing, outright thuggery, and unsavory political intrigue.
Joe motivates people to join his polity by using words like "humanity", "compassion", and "unity". This is a great deception. What Joe really wants to do is open the gates of Hell. That's why the really interesting thing about all this is not that Joe is the spawn of Satan. The interesting thing is that I have a dream that my children will be able to live in a world filled with open spaces and beautiful wilderness -- not in a dark, meddlesome world run by benighted saboteurs. As soon Joe takes us beyond the point of no return, the next thing we'll hear him say is, "Oops, made a mistake". Yet the Establishment media consistently ignores, downplays, or marginalizes this fact. Most of us who have been around for a while realize that I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt, which is more than he's ever given me. So don't feed me any phony baloney about how all minorities are poor, stupid ghetto trash. That's just not true.
In the past, when I complained that Joe was attempting to threaten the existence of human life, perhaps all life on the planet, I was told that I was just being irrational. But nowadays, people realize that he is too execrable to read the writing on the wall. This writing warns that everybody is pro