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Sony BMG Says Ripping CDs is Stealing
LKM writes "Sony seems to think we should not be allowed to rip CDs we own to our iPods. In fact, doing so is stealing, and we should all re-buy songs, preferably one copy for each device. Says Jennifer Pariser, the head of litigation for Sony BMG: 'When an individual makes a copy of a song for himself, I suppose we can say he stole a song. Making a copy of a purchased song is just a nice way of saying 'steals just one copy'.'
I guess somebody should tell Sony about all the devices Sony produces that allow this stealing to occur!"
I have one final thing I want you to consider. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it; that does not make sense!
Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of two-foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense! Look at me. I'm a lawyer defending a major record company, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberatin' and conjugatin' the Emancipation Proclamation, does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit!
Clearly all the major record labels got together about 15 years ago and decided that they had already made entirely too much money, and wagered amongst themselves to see who could do the most to kill the music industry. It's been a fun ride guys, but you're just getting too blatant now, we're onto your little game.
Now they're just trying to look like asshats. Before this we could almost give them the benefit of the doubt, but now...... nope.
But in this instance I can't. When confronted with such an asinine comment my gut reactions kick in and all I can think of is:
I want to throw a phonebook at her and knock her off the podium. Preferably mid-sentence with video footage. Big yellow book smacking her in the side of her head from out of nowhere. Sure, I'd go to jail for assault, but that video would be on the internet. Being shared (she would call it stolen) and laughed at by thousands of people. That would be my solace.
Sorry for my lapse of any real discussion, but some people just need a good old whack upside the head.
Out of modpoints but really liked a post? 1BDkF6TtmmeZ3yqXbz9yhdYVqRYnwFoXDj
...until Sony sues itself for contributing to piracy.
Why would you put someone who lacks even a fundamental understanding of copyright law in charge of your litigation group?
Oh wait... is she hot?
Boy, she sure wasn't happy when I told her she was a stupid litigious bitch... and then asked her on a date. She sounds hot. Honestly!
I don't know if they hooked up a fax machine because of the flood of calls, but please please, someone with a fax, send them something.
For extra points, tape several sheets together and write "We Will Not Purchase Music From Sony BMG Until You Change Your Position," feed it through the fax machine, tape the ends together so they receive never-ending protest message, take a picture of yourself doing it (not your face, of course), post it on imageshack.us, and share the joy with the rest of us.
You can do it. I know you can.
Please stop stalking me, bro.
Is this true??? We must do something to improve the quality of lawyers! Also I'm trying to figure out why 40% of sick days are taken on Mondays and Fridays, but that's another issue.
Thank you for contacting us to resolve your long history of copyright infringement. We are happy to see that you recognize that you have been stealing from us and want to rectify the matter. I am sure that we can reach an amicable solution without having to sue your grandmother. As you know, we, the RIAA members, have long been victimized by earworm performances.
Excellent question.
Of course you have to pay. Earworms are unlicensed and uncompensated performances of a mechanical recording. Now, did you have a question to which the answer is not obvious?
Of course. We will be happy to prorate the licensing fees for you. Our prorated fees for samples/clips start at 50% of the normal rate. However first we need a few details:
- were you thinking about work or doing work while enjoying the earworm, or were you home on your own time?
- were you at an educational institution instructing, attending, or auditing a class? We do offer educational discounts of
- were you at the time singing along, humming, or in your case, grunting along with the performance?
- were you at any time during these unlicensed performance:
- banging your head
- tapping your feet
- tapping your steering wheel
- playing your 'air guitar?"
If so then on top of our usual full rate, you also owe us public performance royalties.
Us. You pay us. Are you so stupid you could not figure this out? We don't care which artist's work you were enjoying, so long as we get our cut. Don't worry, if you cannot remember the title or artist, we will put the artist's pitiful slice of pie into an interest-bearing account of which the artist will never see a penny. Er, what I mean by that is that we will try to figure out which artist should receive the royal- hell with it I'll come out and say it. We don't give a rat's ass about the artist, but if you do not pay up we will sue.
Thank you for your patronage. We look forward to your continued business.
Sincerely,
RIAA Member
The Christian Right is Neither (Christian nor right). See: Matthew 23, Matthew 25, Ezekiel 16:48-50
Dude, South Park never makes fun of people based on their race, ethnicity, social status, or sexuality. Please, let's not sling mud.
Oh, and wooooooo, season premiere tonight!
Please stop stalking me, bro.