IBM Seeking 'Patent-Protection-Racket' Patent

theodp writes "Wikipedia defines a protection racket as an extortion scheme whereby a powerful non-governmental organization coerces businesses to pay protection money which allegedly serves to purchase the organization's 'protection' services against various external threats. Compare this to IBM's just-published patent application for 'Extracting Value from a Portfolio of Assets', which describes a process by which 'very large corporations' impress upon smaller businesses that paying for 'the protection of a large defensive patent portfolio' would be 'a prudent business decision' for them to make, 'just like purchasing a fire insurance policy.' Sounds like Fat Tony's been to Law School, eh? Time for IBM to put-their-money-where-their-patent-reform-mouth-is and deep-six this business method patent claim!"

Comments

Re:I don't suppose anyone has considered

[yorugua]

Only problem is: Would a lot of people can claim "prior art"?.

Wow, IBM showing their since of humor...

[3seas]

...What else could it really be?

How many joke have been writing about patenting the patent process?
Well looks like a very large patent portfoilo company has money to toss at such a joke..

Vercoti Brothers Patent Protection Agency

[underworld]

That's a nice patent you've got there. We wouldn't want anything to happen to it.
It'd be a real shame if ... well.

My brother and I have got a little proposition for you.
We can guarantee you that not a single patent will get done over for fifteen hundos a week.

Nah

[Joey Vegetables]

Sounds like Fat Tony's been to Law School, eh?

Nah. Me and Fat Tony go waaay back, and that gnocchi-eating paisan couldn't fit through the door of law school, much less graduate from one. If youse'a askin' me, my money's on Benny the Brain.

Re:Kudos to IBM

[AceCaseOR]

Don't you mean, "Kiss my BIG hairy BLUE ass"?

(confused both with my patent and in general)

[Headcase88]

Well if so they better stop it. I already filed a patent on filing a patent before others can file the same patent. The patent office approved it on account of being really fucking confused.