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Comcast Charges $1000 Per Wiretap

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the wonder-what-they-charge-to-shoot-you-in-the-mouth dept.

It seems trashing the Fourth Amendment is very profitable: For one company, FISA wiretaps carry a $1K pricetag

Comcast, which is among the nation's largest telecommunication companies, charges $1,000 to install a FISA wiretap and $750 for each additional month authorities want to keep an eye on suspects, according to the company's Handbook for Law Enforcement. Secrecy News obtained the document and published it Monday.

14 of 178 comments (clear)

  1. Escalating Prices by Cryophallion · · Score: 5, Funny

    After announcing this, they notified the black market that it would be $2,000.00 a month to notify people being illegally tapped that they were being illegally tapped.

    When confronted by the govt, they let them know that secrecy, much like their internet connection uptime, is in no way guaranteed under the current terms.

    For guaranteed privacy, it is $5,000.00 per month. However, if they only listen on nights and weekends, the fee is slightly reduced.

    Talk about creating shareholder value!

    1. Re:Escalating Prices by davitf · · Score: 2, Funny

      Comcast has also announced a revenue-sharing program in which participating customers will receive a percentage of the money earned through any wiretaps on their accounts. Unfortunately, unless the customer is also participating in the aforementioned notification program, they will only be informed of their earnings due to a particular wiretap after it has ended.

      According to customers, there is too much uncertainty involved with the current conditions. "I can't invest two grand a month without any profit guarantee," said a potentially participating customer who asked not to be identified. "And how can I know if my government-attention-grabbing behavior is being effective if I'll only know about my successes months later? Comcast should realize that it is also in their best interest to inform participants quickly and help them improve their techniques".

    2. Re:Escalating Prices by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      You know, I bet in other countries the government charges the.. oh bugger it, I'll just say it. Here in the free west, companies charge for wiretap. IN SOVIET RUSSIA, WIRETAP CHARGES YOU!!

  2. Well, hell, if it's just a matter of cash... by EWAdams · · Score: 2, Funny

    I've got a short list of people for whom I'd cheerfully pay $1000 to get a wiretap transcript on. Let's see, Dick Cheney, Mr. Justice Clarence Thomas...

    --
    I piss off bigots.
  3. You cant put a price... by TechnoBunny · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...on catching terrorismists!

  4. Dear shadow government... by tgd · · Score: 5, Funny

    If you would like to tap my internet and phones, I can cut out the middle man and give you what you need for a one-time setup cost of $600, and the low low price of $450 per month.

    (Now, if the monitoring program is secret, what can the IRS do if I don't report that income?)

  5. Maybe not so profitable by John+Hasler · · Score: 3, Funny

    They are dealing with the Federal government. It may cost $990 to do the papaerwork.

    --
    Warning: this article may contain humor, sarcasm, parody, and perhaps even irony. Read at your own risk.
  6. Re:Pinto? by ubrgeek · · Score: 4, Funny

    JACK: Take the number of vehicles in the field (A), multiply it by the probable rate of failure (B), then multiply the result by the average out-of-court settlement (C). A times B times C equals X... If X is less that the cost of a recall, we don't do one.

    BUSINESS WOMAN: Are there a lot of these kinds of accident?

    JACK: You wouldn't believe.

    --
    Bark less. Wag more.
  7. Re:illegal? by jabster · · Score: 5, Funny

    Stop that.

    I read smatterings of logic and intelligence in your post.

    This is slashdot.

    We will have none of that here.

    Now be off with you.

    -john

    --
    Slashdot: you'll not find a more wretched collection of villainy and disreputable types...
  8. Profit! by failedlogic · · Score: 3, Funny

    Modeled after all those movies on clandestine, stalker boyfriend movies... the illegal wiretap must be done as follows:

    1. Buy a white utility van. Buy a blue -not black- uniform so no one can see you under the streetlight. Your company name should have pizza or florist in it.
    2. Climb utility pole. Connect phone line to your headphones. Its not more technical than this. Now you hear all the phone conversations.
    3. ????
    4. Profit!!!

  9. Well thats ..... by HW_Hack · · Score: 2, Funny

    Commie-castic !!

    There a discount package on illegal wire tapping if you sign up for the Big Brother Deluxe Program

    --
    Its not the years, its the mileage .....
  10. Probably the highest paid law enforcement agency by ILongForDarkness · · Score: 2, Funny

    The phone companies must love criminals then, this is probably ~10 months or so bills per month, nice. That is why I mention Al Queda and Jihad in every phone call, I want to run up the FBI/NSA bill :)

  11. You're GOT to be kidding.... by John+Pfeiffer · · Score: 2, Funny

    Well, shit. For $1,000 I'd tap my own line!

    --

    Friend: "The NIC is misconfigured..." Me: "No prob, I'll just telnet in and fix it." *Silence*
  12. Re:great by N1ck0 · · Score: 3, Funny

    You pay comcast to spy on you. Then you pay the government to get the information from comcast, so that they can take away our rights to not be spied on.

    Maybe we should cutout the middleman. Comcast can discount their fees, and then the government can pay us to spy on ourselves.

    -------
    Very Well. I'll just have my people contact each other then. Have to keep them busy. --Fletch