America's View of the Internet

Alien54 writes "It won't make you dinner or rub your feet, but nearly one in four Americans say that the Internet can serve as a substitute for a significant other for some period of time, according to a new poll released today by 463 Communications and Zogby International. The poll examined views of what role the Internet plays in people's lives and whether government should play a greater role in regulating it. The online survey was conducted Oct. 4-8, 2007, included 9,743 adult respondents nationwide, and carries a margin of error of +/- 1.0 percentage point. From the results blog post: 'More than half of Americans believe that Internet content such as video should be controlled in some way by the government. Only 33% of 18 to 24 year-olds supported government stepping in on content, while 72% of those over 70 years of age support government regulation and ratings. More than one in four Americans has a social networking profile such as MySpace or Facebook. Among 18-24 year-olds, it's almost mandatory - 78% of them report having a social networking profile. Americans may love the Internet, but most are not prepared to implant it into their brain, even if it was safe. Only 11% of respondents said they be willing to safely implant a device that enabled them to use their mind to access the Internet.'"

Comments

This American's view of the internet?

[GungaDan]

I'm still waiting for the fucking images to load.

Re:This American's view of the internet?

[MarsDefenseMinister]

You've obviously never been married. I envy you.

Internet, Head

[gQuigs]

I don't like the idea of anyone sticking tubes in my head. Imagine if they overflowed!

Re:Internet, Head

[Kadin2048]

More than that, where would they implant it?

Re:Internet, Head

[lmaoplane]

And what happens when you download spyware that hijacks your homepage and changes it to zombo.com?

11%

[RandoX]

Define "safely".

Re:11%

[tiny1877]

Can't be any worse than ADD... Ooh look! A squirrel!

Re:11%

[merreborn]

It's worth noting that really, no operation is 100% safe. Especially when it comes to the brain. Even something as simple as brain biopsy is avoided whenever possible.

I believe an autopsy is considered safe.

From what I've heard, few, if any of those who have an autopsy performed on them come out alive.

Brain implants?

[Naviztirf]

Why was implanting a device in your brain to control the internet even a question in this survey? Scarier, %11 said they would?!?!

Re:Brain implants?

[shigelojoe]

On the contrary, I think the grinding would never stop.

Re:Brain implants?

[hodet]

Oh great. 6 months of wet dreams in 3 minutes at my desk.

One in four say it could replace an SO?

[Anonymous Coward]

I had absolutely no idea that so many people lived in their basements.

Significant Other?

[bazald]

It won't make you dinner or rub your feet, but nearly one in four Americans say that the Internet can serve as a substitute for a significant other for some period of time You're all I need, Slashdot.

Dumbledore uses a Mac

[Anonymous Coward]

He dreams of wands.

The Internet as a significant other?

[IGnatius T Foobar]

I'm not so sure about the Internet being a reasonable substitute for a significant other. Every time I open my email, the Internet tells me that my penis is too small.

Re:Obligatory link

[xenocide2]

* no monthly fee! I think my landlord would disagree.

Re:Obligatory link

[McDee]

incredible NPC AI Sounds like you haven't been outside for a while...

Re:The Internet vs. the Wife

[homebrewmike]

She reads Slashdot, doesn't she?

Lucky

[jez9999]

Only 11% of respondents said they be willing to safely implant a device that enabled them to use their mind to access the Internet.

Fortunately, this happens to match the exact % of the population whose IQ would be improved by having the Internet implanted in their brains.

Re:SUBSTITUTE for an S/O?

[TerranFury]

I can't tell if that's a reference to Douglas Adams or to masturbation. Hopefully not both.