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Man Sized Sea Scorpion Fossil Found

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the try-saying-that-four-time-frantic dept.

hereisnowhy writes "A giant fossilized claw discovered in Germany belonged to an ancient sea scorpion that was much bigger than the average man, an international team of geologists and archaeologists reported Tuesday. In a report in the Royal Society's journal Biology Letters, the team said the claw indicates that sea scorpion Jaekelopterus rhenania was almost 2.5 meters long, making it the largest arthropod — an animal with a segmented body, jointed limbs and a hard exoskeleton — ever found. In the report, the authors said the scorpion exceeds previous size records for arthropods by almost half a meter."

24 of 216 comments (clear)

  1. Man Sized? by tak+amalak · · Score: 5, Funny

    Try double-man sized. That thing must weigh 4 times what a man weights. 2 times what an American weighs.

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    1. Re:Man Sized? by tttonyyy · · Score: 4, Funny

      Try double-man sized. That thing must weigh 4 times what a man weights. 2 times what an American weighs. It's all extrapolation. I bet it had a 46cm claw and a tiny disproportionate 4cm body with weedy legs, making it the early equivalent to the modern programmer and not the scary hideous gargantuan portrayed by the media.
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    2. Re:Man Sized? by Kamokazi · · Score: 4, Funny

      Obviously you watch too much TV, if you think the American weight average is double everyone else. Just because you see extreme cases all the time doesn't mean that everyone in America is like that. We don't have THAT many bulemic movie stars to throw the curve off that much...we're at least 3 or 4 times fatter than the rest of the world, not just double. Sheesh.

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  2. Yes, but by Red+Flayer · · Score: 4, Funny

    Can it rock you like a hurricane or summon the winds of change?

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  3. DNA by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    I hope they can get DNA from this fossil. If we had these things crawling around, even the Nanny State couldn't prevent idiots from surviving.

  4. I, for one... by tttonyyy · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...would be legging it the other way if I found that under a rock.

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  5. 2.5 metres by niceone · · Score: 3, Funny

    The previous record was 2 metres, already quite scary enough. Well, I hope they keep updating us on any slightly larger seafood they find.

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  6. Headline by Ristol · · Score: 2, Funny

    "Sea scorpion fossil belonged to biggest bug ever: scientists" Wonderful editing they have these days.

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  7. Seriously... f@#k that by bmajik · · Score: 5, Funny

    You're telling me scorpions, which are scary enough at 2 inches in length, used to run around here at 2.5 meters in length ?

    I'll tell you what happened..

    Whatever sentinent life showed up here a long time ago basically said "return to the ship and nuke the site from orbit"

    And you know what? They were right.

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    1. Re:Seriously... f@#k that by spun · · Score: 4, Funny

      Whatever sentinent life showed up here a long time ago basically said "return to the ship and nuke the site from orbit" And umpteen million years later, instead of water dwelling arthropods with no technology, who can't even support their own weight on dry land, they've got to deal with a horde of vicious hairless monkeys with nukes of our own. They're probably kicking themselves right now, assuming their anatomy allows such a feat.
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    2. Re:Seriously... f@#k that by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      or feet?

  8. no no no.... by pablo_max · · Score: 2, Funny

    Anyone who has seen Clash of the Titans knows that this story is just silly. It was clear that giant scorpions were all over the entire region. There were not too many other giant insects, but there were swamps and robot owls....this much is clear.

  9. Uh oh by Joe+the+Lesser · · Score: 2, Funny

    We're gonna need bigger a bigger boot...

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  10. Ants vs Scorpions by seyyah · · Score: 5, Funny

    Jesus Christ. Where are our ant overlords when we need them?

    1. Re:Ants vs Scorpions by Joe+the+Lesser · · Score: 2, Funny

      Whoever wins, we lose.

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  11. Is this that unusual? by kurt555gs · · Score: 4, Funny

    Some of the restaurants in Joliet Illinois, where I live have cockroaches close to this size.

    Cheers

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    1. Re:Is this that unusual? by kilo_foxtrot84 · · Score: 5, Funny

      So, how do they serve them? Obediently.
  12. You played way too much to RPGs when... by Rastignac · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...you start seeing giant scorpions.

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  13. No Problem!... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Boy!, fetch me my +50 damage Warhammer and enchanted armour!

  14. 2nd Fossil Imprint by Hoi+Polloi · · Score: 2, Funny

    They didn't mention that the fossil scorpion was found under the imprint of a 10m long foot.

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  15. we call them land-sea-scorpions. by Floydius · · Score: 2, Funny

    I tame them.

  16. Re:Amazing by CrashPoint · · Score: 2, Funny

    Speaking of giants, they only found 1 of these things, not a whole race of them. How do they know it wasn't the "Andre the Giant" of the sea scorpions?
    Because were that the case, they would also have found two smaller sea scorpions in the same place; one wearing black and the other looking for the six-clawed scorpion that killed his father.
  17. Re:This is appalling! by PhoenixOr · · Score: 2, Funny

    Or unless John Hammond gets his hands on one...

  18. Re:Dubious extrapolation.. Hold on... by davidsyes · · Score: 2, Funny

    While I check your theory against my tape measure...

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