Bolivian Salt Flats Aid Spacecraft Calibration

PCOL writes "Salar de Uyuni is a vast plain of white salt in the mountains of Bolivia, with a total elevation range of less than 80 centimeters - the flattest place on earth. Beginning in 2002, geophysicist Adrian Borsa led a survey that resulted in precise GPS measurements of the salt flat. The flats will be used as a giant calibration device for satellite-based radar and laser altimeters on the CryoSat recovery mission so the spacecraft can more precisely monitor changes in the elevation and thickness of polar ice sheets and floating sea ice. 'Satellites can calibrate their altimeters by bouncing signals off the ocean surface .. because of atmospheric interference, tides and waves, there are uncertainties. Borsa says the salar, now so accurately mapped and with dry, clear skies, is about five times better than the ocean as a reference point.'"

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And, from the headlines of 2010...

[nugneant]

SALAR DE UYUNI, Bolivia -

In a video released today, Osama Bin Laden, leader of the Al-Qaeda terrorist organization, declared responsibility for the bucket brigade attack that left three dead, fifty-seven dehydrated, and hundreds of millions of satellites disoriented.

"The imperialist Western heathens launch their metallic eye to watch the honorable Allah undress", Bin Laden says in the video. "As Muslims, we must show the world that we will not tolerate this, or any other, act of Western aggression."

Muslim leaders remain divided on the issue. While Abdul Ackman Ackgrab Ackmeer Ackbeer Ackbar publically decried "any and all acts of violence in the honorable Muslim community", some, such as Abdul Rohammed Ackgrab Ackmeer Ackbar Abdul-Paula-Ackman, took a more neutral stance, saying under conditions of anonymity that "America cannot deny" the impact the hundreds of satellites had upon "the honorable Muslim community", and cited a Koran verse that, loosely translated, declares "none shall be higher than Supreme Allah". When asked about the potentially harmful effects of all that out-of-control metal pummeling the Earth, Mr. Abdul-Paula-Ackman had nothing coherant to say, though seemed generally ambivilant.

Small groups of Earnest Student Democrats have already formed in support of what they label the "honorable savages of the Middle East", and were seen against a police barricade decrying Israel, chanting "NO WAR FOR SALT".

Several despotic Palestine hoodlums could not be reached for comment.