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New Wheel of Time Author Chosen
kdean06 writes "Brandon Sanderson has been chosen by Tor Books to finish the best-selling Wheel of Time fantasy series by the late Robert Jordan. Harriet, Jordan's widow, chose him after reading his Mistborn series. An interview is also available via Dragonmount.com."
...that about seven years ago, friends of mine and I joked about abducting Jordan and holding him until he finished the series...
Do not look into laser with remaining eye.
"Finish" his novels? Wouldn't it be more to Jordan's liking if Brandon Sanderson just kept writing book after book on the Wheel of Time until he dies, too?
He's not the author. But he is *an* author.
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I heard an ancient prophecy that said that when the Wheel of Time of was ended, so too was Time.
I'm sure that was poppycock... heh heh... right?
Harriet Popham Rigney, Jordan's beloved wife and editor, said of her decision to have Sanderson complete the last book in The Wheel of Time series: "I have chosen Brandon Sanderson to complete Robert Jordan's great work, and I am absolutely delighted that he accepted. I will of course be editing this book as I have all of the other books of The Wheel of Time."
Suddenly, the word "Edit" has lost all meaning.
After he finishes reading the current 5 dozen grueling volumes of "The Wheel of Time", he'll run away, screaming and plucking his eyeballs out!
No matter where you go... there you are.
Female character sniffed. "Wooly-headed men," she thought.
Male character sighed. "If only other male character were here," he thought. "He understands women."
how to invest, a novice's guide
What about the "giant world-wide S&M sorority thing" going on. All the women were always threatening to spank, hit, whack, or otherwise "discipline" each other pretty much non-stop. BTW, when I first read the first book of the series I stuck it in my flight bag for a long trip and avgas back then was about $1.50/gallon. THAT was a long time ago!
Hansel and Gretel, outlined in the style of Robert Jordan:
... and that's about the point where the Faithful Reader finally realizes that this hack has stretched a simple fairy tale into seven giant novels in which nothing actually happens.
Book 1: Hansel and Gretel live happily with their mother and father. Their mother falls ill and dies. The family mourns her loss. The father starts courting another woman in the village, to the dismay of Hansel and Gretel. At the end of the book, she wins over the hearts and minds of the two children and marries her father. They live happily ever after.
Book 2: Oh, wait, they don't live happily after all. The stepmother turns out to be hateful and cruel. Ultimately, Hansel and Gretel resolve to run away from home. Gretel expresses fears about the wicked witch who is rumored to live in the Forest, but Hansel insists nothing could be worse than living at home with their stepmother. After much bickering, they depart.
Book 3: Hansel and Gretel cross the boundary between Village and Forest. Gretel reprises her misgivings about the dangers of the forest. Hansel reiterates his arguments in favor of running away. After much bickering, they agree to continue, using bread crumbs to mark their trail. They get lost. Gretel blames Hansel. Hansel stubbornly refuses to admit his mistake.
Book 4: Hansel and Gretel wander through the woods, lost and disoriented. Gretel continues to complain about the foolishness of running away from home. Hansel continues to insist it's the right thing to do. Gretel continues to berate him about the bread crumbs fiasco. Hansel persists in his mule-headed self-righteousness. They meet a Wise Owl, who warns them about the Wicked Witch of the Forest.
Book 5: Hansel and Gretel wander through the woods, lost and disoriented. Gretel continues to complain about the foolishness of running away from home. Hansel continues to insist it's the right thing to do. Gretel continues to berate him about the bread crumbs fiasco. Hansel persists in his mule-headed self-righteousness. They meet a Cunning Fox, who encourages them to visit the Wise Woman of the Forest.
Book 6: Hansel and Gretel wander through the woods, lost and disoriented. Gretel continues to complain about the foolishness of running away from home. Hansel continues to insist it's the right thing to do. Gretel continues to berate him about the bread crumbs fiasco. Hansel persists in his mule-headed self-righteousness. They meet a Cryptic Raven, who warns them about the Wicked Witch of the Forest.
Book 7: Hansel and Gretel wander through the woods, lost and disoriented. Gretel continues to complain about the foolishness of running away from home. Hansel continues to insist it's the right thing to do. Gretel continues to berate him about the bread crumbs fiasco. Hansel persists in his mule-headed self-righteousness. They meet a Devious Serpent, who encourages them to visit the Wise Woman of the Forest.
Any sufficiently well-organized community is indistinguishable from Government.
No kidding. Loved it at first. But it got repetative. So and so tugs on her braid. Yet again. Yawn.
You missed the three books where Hansel doesn't appear at all and Gretel camps outside the witch's house complaining about the weather for three days. One book, one day.
how to invest, a novice's guide
If Sanderson is that good at wrapping things up, maybe George R.R. Martin can pass along his notes for A Song of Ice and Fire and then just move on to something else...
-- stream of did I lock the front door consciousness
Just leave Robert alone.
If you have a problem, the come to me about it, but leave Robert alone.
after all he has done, and all he has provided, you all just attack him.
so just LEAVE ROBERT ALONE!
... and Stories come and pass, leaving books that become sequels. sequels that fade to prequels, and even prequels are long since read when the Author that give it birth has died and been replaced. In one book, called the 12th book by some...
You forgot to put in the sniffing, snorting, and braid pulling
Other than that, great job!
Sincerely,
A fan of the series
Climate Progress - Hell and High Water
they have big fighgt! Thers a HUGE SWARD and esplosions! RAND R0XX0RS THE BL0XX0RS, and he kills all the b4d guys! teh bene gesserit I MEAN AES SEDAI (d0h!) help some, but so do some Fremen I MEAN AIEL and they spend the hole time arguing wether dudes or chicks r00le m0r3 (LOL).
At teh end all the bad guys are dead -- EXCEPT 1 of THER BODIES IS GONE LIKE HE SNUCK OFF OR SOMTHN!! AND RAND IS FATALLY INJURD! *SOB* But doont wory he gets reencarnated 'cause the wheel in the sky keeps on turnin!
(GOTO BOOK 1)
-- "Oh. This guy again."
You mean the 1,000 repetition at the end of book 3? I almost pulled my braid I was so frustrated.
The Outline:
1. Rand prepares for the Last Battle.
2. Rand sets off.
3. Rand starts to feel a little dizzy as he approaches Dragonmount and falls over dead of undiagnosed cardiac amyloidosis.
--Brandon Sanderson (Who plans rename "Rand" to the obviously superior "Brand.")
I'm Brandon Sanderson and so is my wife!
No, Goodkind just tortures his readers. Especially when midway through the series, one book becomes a complete tangent and the rest of the series becomes Atlas Shrugged fantasy edition. If I wanted to read libertarian propaganda I'd read.... actually, I'd jump off the roof and kill myself if I ever felt that way. I pretend that he died after the first book these days, it was a shame such a promising author never published again.
I still have more fans than freaks. WTF is wrong with you people?
I sure hope it fits my "Moiraine, Lanfear and Asmodean chilling out on a beach in a parellel universe, laughing about the people who still haven't realized the *elfinn are animatronic puppets" theory.
For some reason my theory is seen as unlikely by other fans of the series.
USE HOT GRITS WITH STATUE OF NATALIE PORTMAN (NAKED AND PETRIFIED)