The 5 Users You'd Meet in Hell

cweditor writes "The Know-It-All. The Finger-Pointer. The Whiz Kid. "Just as a zookeeper cares for his monkeys one way and his rhinos another (we kid — sort of), so too should IT tailor its responses to fit the individual styles of its end users," according to this Computerworld "rogue's gallery of users (and one angel)". Includes advice on how to best deal with the most common types of users, without having to run screaming into the night. Expect sometime soon to also see reader feedback offering other ideas (and, oh, perhaps some disagreement with the article's)."

Comments

The know-nothing.

[RandoX]

I once had to help a user because she had accidentally rearranged the icons on her desktop and didn't know how to do her job. She had meticulously documented her job as follows:

Step 1: Click the third icon from the top in the second column [...]

Etc....

Re:The know-nothing.

[dintech]

I've seen someone very confused when the mouse reached the right edge of the desk but not the right edge of the screen...

Re:The know-nothing.

[Tackhead]

> I once had to help a user because she had accidentally rearranged the icons on her desktop and didn't know how to do her job. She had meticulously documented her job as follows:
>
> Step 1: Click the third icon from the top in the second column [...]

That wasn't just any know-nothing. That was the team lead for your company's ISO 9000 programme!

Re:The know-nothing.

[afc_wimbledon]

I guess we all have true stories like these....my favourite is as follows. An update to users' PCs was sent round in an email which basically said "click on the icon in this email to start the process, then do the following...you may want to print off this email to refer to the instructions as you go along." One user, at a remote office (naturally!) just couldn't get this to work. Several different people tried to talk her through it over the phone, but eventually someone had to drive over to see what was going on. It's obvious really; she'd printed out the email and was carefully putting the mouse on the print out, on top of the image of the icon, and clicking....

Irony

[haystor]

There is strong irony in the IT worker complaining about the know-it-all.

I know one more...

[courteaudotbiz]

The brother in law!!! It's the worse one, because he is all 5 worst users in the same person!

Surprisingly common

[InvisblePinkUnicorn]

It's surprising how many people are like this. I encounter people this clueless on a weekly basis.

Me: "Right-click on your program shortcut and go to Properties..."

User: "What?"

Me: "The shortcut to the program."

User: "What?"

Me: "However you normally open the program."

User: "Ok, the program's open."

Me: "No, just right-click on that icon."

User: "So close the program?"

Me: "Yes"

User: "It says, 'are you sure you want to exit.' Click ok?"

Me: "Yes."

User: "It says, 'An error was encountered.' Click Send?"

Me: "No, click Do Not Send."

User: "OK, so go into the program?"

Me: "No, right-click on the shortcut."

User: "What?"

Re:Surprisingly common

[phantomflanflinger]

You're lucky. This is what I get:

Me: Right-click on your mouse

Client: Hang on, I'm getting a pen. (PAUSE) OK.

Me: Can you see the context menu? Click Properties on it.

Client: Menu? What menu?

Me: Did you right-click on your mouse?

Client: Yes.

Me: OK do it again then.

(SILENCE)

Me: Can you see the context menu?

Client: No - nothing happens. I've written click on my mouse twice, nothing's happened and now I've got ink on fingers!