How Would You Design Your Dream Office?

An anonymous reader writes "My company is building a new office. As the local IT Guy, I've been asked to design my new office from the ground up. If you were given the opportunity to design your dream office, what features would you include? What things would you try to avoid? I get to determine absolutely everything. The catch? I have to share my office space with all the network equipment. Just 4 standard racks, and all your basic telephone and network wiring. Can anyone help me get started? I have no idea where to even begin."

Comments

All I personally would need

[Daltin]

A mini-fridge, a computer, and the phone. In fact, screw the computer and phone.

Dream Office?

[Anonymous Coward]

I'd make my dream office with blackjack... and hookers! In fact, forget the office...

Re:Dream Office?

[Heir Of The Mess]

I think Pattaya Beach in Thailand with a nice Vaio laptop and wireless internet, with pretty girls in bikinis fetching me new batteries when I need them would be a good start. Meetings could be held in hot spas while getting a message.

Oh wait, there's a limitation that it has to be in a crowded room full of computer equipment. Not really a Dream Office now is it?

Sad

[TheRealFixer]

That's not an office. That's a "stick the IT guy in the closet so we don't have to spend money on him" room.

Re:Sad

[IntelliTubbie]

That's not an office. That's a "stick the IT guy in the closet so we don't have to spend money on him" room.

Management: "Yes, but let's tell him that he can design his new 'office' anyway he wants -- that way, he'll feel so 'empowered' that he won't realize he's getting screwed by being stuck in the server closet!"

Cheers,
IT

Re:Sad

[Jake73]

Milt, we're gonna need to go ahead and move you downstairs into storage B. We have some new people coming in, and we need all the space we can get. So if you could just go ahead and pack up your stuff and move it down there, that would be terrific, OK?

A big, strong, sturdy door

[Realistic_Dragon]

I would make my door lock a random game of killer sudoko, thus ensuring that management never troubled me - but was too embarrassed about looking mentally deficient to complain.

Re:A big, strong, sturdy door

[also-rr]

You could achieve the same effect with a tic tac toe game that gave entry to anyone who could force a draw.

Stripper Pole....

[AmazingRuss]

...and a nice compliment of strippers.

Huh?

[Cally]

As the local IT Guy, I've been asked to design my new office from the ground up.

What's wrong with this picture?

Re:Huh?

[Wobble-U]

He should have said from the ground DOWN? Everyone knows IT guys get the basement.

Re:First investment

[HockeyPuck]

Looks like a tanning booth to me.

Re:My recommendations

[hal9000(jr)]

I worked for 3 years in a data center with about 100 servers, network gear, and an ancient environmental unit. Very noisy environment. If you get to design your workplace, then you want sound proofing like described here.

I now work in a place with a separate data center. It's so nice to talk on the phone and not have to explain to others that I am not, in fact, in an airplane back by the engines.

Re:My recommendations

[ShieldW0lf]

Get a blackjack table! And Hookers!

Actually, forget the blackjack.

Re:First investment

[falsified]

I can't understand what you're saying now, and it's damn quiet here. Could it be that the end of your sentence never has to do with the beginning part of it?

Re:First investment

[Unoti]

tell your employer to stop being so god damn cheap and have them build a real server room and offer to take a normal office

Or better yet: tell them to splurge and take that whole room for the servers, and then you work remotely from home!

Re:Office space?

[raftpeople]

Seriously, we have no idea what kind of room we have to work with, how many people you need space for, etc.

Good point, I better revise my original thoughts. Ok, we may not have room for the entire wildlife reserve so lets scrap the zebras and wildebeests, just the smaller animals should do. But I'm not going to budge on the military submarine drydock facility, these things are indispensible.

There should be room for at least one starbucks, probably in the southwest corner, adjacent to the home depot.

As an eco-friendly bike commuter we are going to want some space for supplies, repairs and a shower would be nice.

Does anyone know how much room we have left at this point?

Dream office? That's easy: 15 steps

[r_jensen11]

1) Hot secretary sitting outside
2) Giant, twin mahogany doors
3) Giant windows overlooking the Boston Harbor or some other body of water
4) Balcony overlooking said body of water
5) At least 30 stories from the ground
6) Big desk
7) Comfortable leather chair
8) Hot secretary
9) Not-so-mini mini bar
10) Mini golf game
11) Phone with speaker-phone and an accessible mute button
12) HiFi stereo
13) Nice big-screen television
14) Only computer-related equipment is a laptop (no printer, this is why I have a hot secretary)
15) Hot secretary

Re:First investment

[__aaclcg7560]

Cameras?! Try a system of mirrors that no only reveal who is knocking but can redirect a laser beam to eliminate who is knocking.

Re:Getting started...

[kongit]

6. Minifridge
7. 12 pack of beer
8. large screen TV
9. Recliner
10. Fold out sofa
11. Walnut paneling on the walls
12. Pool Table
13. Butler or overzealous but sincere PA with a British accent
14. Swimming Pool

Re:Become Mr. invisible

[canUbeleiveIT]

Better, make sure there is no line of sight from the door to your desk. That way no-one can see if you're sitting behind it without coming into the room.

Here, let me fix that for you:
Better, make sure there is no line of sight from the door to your desk. That way no-one can see if you're sitting behind it without pants.

Re:My recommendations

[murdocj]

Yes, making IT inaccessible, and then making sure that the ticket system "accidently" loses requests, is certainly the ticket to happy internal customers.

Or you might try remembering that you are there to serve the company, not the other way around.