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How Would You Design Your Dream Office?

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on from the a-step-up-from-the-broom-closet dept.

An anonymous reader writes "My company is building a new office. As the local IT Guy, I've been asked to design my new office from the ground up. If you were given the opportunity to design your dream office, what features would you include? What things would you try to avoid? I get to determine absolutely everything. The catch? I have to share my office space with all the network equipment. Just 4 standard racks, and all your basic telephone and network wiring. Can anyone help me get started? I have no idea where to even begin."

15 of 376 comments (clear)

  1. All I personally would need by Daltin · · Score: 3, Funny

    A mini-fridge, a computer, and the phone. In fact, screw the computer and phone.

  2. Dream Office? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I'd make my dream office with blackjack... and hookers! In fact, forget the office...

  3. Sad by TheRealFixer · · Score: 5, Funny

    That's not an office. That's a "stick the IT guy in the closet so we don't have to spend money on him" room.

    1. Re:Sad by IntelliTubbie · · Score: 5, Funny

      That's not an office. That's a "stick the IT guy in the closet so we don't have to spend money on him" room.

      Management: "Yes, but let's tell him that he can design his new 'office' anyway he wants -- that way, he'll feel so 'empowered' that he won't realize he's getting screwed by being stuck in the server closet!"

      Cheers,
      IT

      --

      Power corrupts. PowerPoint corrupts absolutely.

    2. Re:Sad by Jake73 · · Score: 3, Funny

      Milt, we're gonna need to go ahead and move you downstairs into storage B. We have some new people coming in, and we need all the space we can get. So if you could just go ahead and pack up your stuff and move it down there, that would be terrific, OK?

  4. A big, strong, sturdy door by Realistic_Dragon · · Score: 4, Funny

    I would make my door lock a random game of killer sudoko, thus ensuring that management never troubled me - but was too embarrassed about looking mentally deficient to complain.

    --
    Beep beep.
    1. Re:A big, strong, sturdy door by also-rr · · Score: 4, Funny

      You could achieve the same effect with a tic tac toe game that gave entry to anyone who could force a draw.

      --
      Think of the Children; Sleep with your Sister
  5. Huh? by Cally · · Score: 5, Funny

    As the local IT Guy, I've been asked to design my new office from the ground up.

    What's wrong with this picture?

    --
    "None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free." -- Goethe
  6. Re:First investment by HockeyPuck · · Score: 4, Funny

    Looks like a tanning booth to me.

  7. Re:My recommendations by hal9000(jr) · · Score: 4, Funny

    I worked for 3 years in a data center with about 100 servers, network gear, and an ancient environmental unit. Very noisy environment. If you get to design your workplace, then you want sound proofing like described here.

    I now work in a place with a separate data center. It's so nice to talk on the phone and not have to explain to others that I am not, in fact, in an airplane back by the engines.

  8. Re:My recommendations by ShieldW0lf · · Score: 4, Funny

    Get a blackjack table! And Hookers!

    Actually, forget the blackjack.

    --
    -1 Uncomfortable Truth
  9. Re:First investment by Unoti · · Score: 3, Funny

    tell your employer to stop being so god damn cheap and have them build a real server room and offer to take a normal office
    Or better yet: tell them to splurge and take that whole room for the servers, and then you work remotely from home!
  10. Re:Office space? by raftpeople · · Score: 4, Funny

    Seriously, we have no idea what kind of room we have to work with, how many people you need space for, etc.
    Good point, I better revise my original thoughts. Ok, we may not have room for the entire wildlife reserve so lets scrap the zebras and wildebeests, just the smaller animals should do. But I'm not going to budge on the military submarine drydock facility, these things are indispensible.

    There should be room for at least one starbucks, probably in the southwest corner, adjacent to the home depot.

    As an eco-friendly bike commuter we are going to want some space for supplies, repairs and a shower would be nice.

    Does anyone know how much room we have left at this point?
  11. Dream office? That's easy: 15 steps by r_jensen11 · · Score: 4, Funny

    1) Hot secretary sitting outside
    2) Giant, twin mahogany doors
    3) Giant windows overlooking the Boston Harbor or some other body of water
    4) Balcony overlooking said body of water
    5) At least 30 stories from the ground
    6) Big desk
    7) Comfortable leather chair
    8) Hot secretary
    9) Not-so-mini mini bar
    10) Mini golf game
    11) Phone with speaker-phone and an accessible mute button
    12) HiFi stereo
    13) Nice big-screen television
    14) Only computer-related equipment is a laptop (no printer, this is why I have a hot secretary)
    15) Hot secretary

  12. Re:Become Mr. invisible by canUbeleiveIT · · Score: 4, Funny

    Better, make sure there is no line of sight from the door to your desk. That way no-one can see if you're sitting behind it without coming into the room.

    Here, let me fix that for you:
    Better, make sure there is no line of sight from the door to your desk. That way no-one can see if you're sitting behind it without pants.